To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

[StrawberryCreamField]

Would you be happy with this? DD (18, her birthday was last week) wants to go out to a nightclub on Christmas Day. I don’t think she should as Christmas Day is a day to spend with family and for her to spend with us and her siblings and she could go out on any other day/night. DD is still saying she wants to go out though. DH thinks I’m being unreasonable and he thinks it’s fine for her to go out on Christmas Day. AIBU?

Making her stay in to have “fun” with the family will guarantee she has no fun - with the family or her friends. And probably the family will feel her misery too!

and again how will you stop her?

It’s not difficult to get a taxi (Uber) on Christmas Day where I live.

If she's only just told you and the normal Christmas day routine is a late Christmas lunch and family time in the evening, then I think that's pretty rude of her.

It's the going out at 2 pm that I'd be really annoyed about. Clubbing in the usual manner wouldn't really disturb our family time at Christmas as we wind down by about 8.

It seems odd to me that she has several friends who are heading out at 2. When I was that sort of age I enjoyed Christmas day at home, as did my friends.
We wouldn't have been planning on going out and missing out on lunch! Though I could see us planning a meet up in the evening.

shes 18 fuck sake, why does she need to show you proof that its open??

Who is she supposedly going out with?

Yep, it sounds like a recipe for her getting stranded somewhere and (hopefully) calling you to come to the rescue.

Christmas plans like this need... planning because places/services that are open are in high demand so need booking in advance. I don't think it's unreasonable for an newly 18 year old to be expected to show you that she's made actual plans with actions, not vibes, or own up that she's actually going to a party because someone's got an empty.

She's an adult, she doesn't need to compromise with you.

Because I’m doubting if it’s actually open like DD says it is.

Clubbing in the usual manner wouldn't really disturb our family time at Christmas as we wind down by about 8.

So you think an adult child has to fit in and do what suits you because it’s what you want, what about what she wants? When your children become adults, you do have to see them as individuals who can make their own choices and that includes what they want to do on Xmas day.

At 2pm, no. Any time after 7/8pm, fine.

Some pubs (when we still had some) used to open lunchtime and evening (before 24 hour drinking) my friends used to meet up for a few drinks before going off to our families for crimbo lunch. This was back in the 80s. I never heard of nightclubs being open though.
I would probably have gone if they did 😆

I just don’t feel ok with her missing the whole of Xmas day evening, let alone her missing most of the afternoon too and also missing Christmas dinner. I don’t think it’s ok but DH still thinks it’s fine.

Lots of clubs are open Xmas day. If she is lying to you, I’d be more concerned why your daughter feels she can’t tell you the truth.

Going out late on Xmas Day - fine

Going out at 2pm and missing Xmas dinner - disrespectful of an important family occasion.

Obviously you can’t stop her but I would extremely unimpressed and be looking to discuss a compromise of her going out later. Safety wise I would also be suggesting she has a decent plan for getting home as taxis will be v thin on the ground.

She's 18 - it really doesn't matter whether you think it's okay or not.

If she'd rather go out then theres really no point trying to stop her. It would hardly make for a nice family day if she was forced to be there.

She’s an adult now. You can’t tell her what to do and she really doesn’t need to prove anything. You sound quite controlling and that only builds resentment and secrecy. You need to let her have independence as an adult.

Rooftop 525 at pleasure beach resort. DD is insisting that it’s open on Christmas Day but I can’t find any evidence of that!

Why is it not OK, though? You'll still see her on Xmas Day.....why does she have to spend the whole day and evening with you?
Next year she might be backpacking around Australia for all you know, so accept that she's at least there, and pick your battles.

Obviously, plenty of nightclubs do open Christmas day. I've spent many a Christmas day (and Christmas eve and boxing day) out clubbing.

I think you’ll simply end up with an upset and sulky teen taking herself off to her bedroom once lunch is over if you insist she stays at home, so you’re not going to get the day you’re trying to orchestrate anyway. I think it’s fine to try and negotiate her leaving later in the afternoon so you can all enjoy a leisurely meal, but let her have the evening.

I’m not ok with her missing the whole afternoon.

Are all her friends also going out or are they staying home? If she's winging it by herself I wouldn't be happy most average people like to be home on Christmas, the ones who are out are probably alone for one reason or another.

She may be 18, but 18 is not very grown up, there are a lot of people out there who could easily take advantage of an inexperienced 18 year old. People say 18 as though a magic wand is waved and they become competent adults, it doesn't happen like that.

Don't really get the issue here. We used to go clubbing on Christmas Day at that age; albeit later in the evening than mid-afternoon. She's an adult, let her be.

And as for those doubting that the club is open; why?! Lots of pubs and clubs are open in all major cities; and a quick Google says there's plenty open in Blackpool where the OP is.
Surely it's better her going out Christmas day then going out Christmas eve, rolling home in the early hours and being hungover all of Christmas day (which I did more than once tbh)