To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

[StrawberryCreamField]

Would you be happy with this? DD (18, her birthday was last week) wants to go out to a nightclub on Christmas Day. I don’t think she should as Christmas Day is a day to spend with family and for her to spend with us and her siblings and she could go out on any other day/night. DD is still saying she wants to go out though. DH thinks I’m being unreasonable and he thinks it’s fine for her to go out on Christmas Day. AIBU?

I was going to say YABU as she’s 18 and Xmas night at a nightclub would be a great time for her. They are most def open BUT then you said she’s going out at 2pm, I’d def not be happy with that

DD hasn’t provided any proof that the nightclub in question is open or that she’s going to it, I only have her word for it.

At that age I loved going out Xmas night with my friends.

Kindly OP, you don’t need to be happy with her decision but it’s not her job to make you happy. She’s not a child anymore. Christmas is going to start to look different over the next few years.

Where's she going at 2pm? It's fairly obvious that a nightclub is not going to be open then.

I know everyone is saying she's 18 and an adult, but this sounds suspicious. I wouldn't mind her going clubbing in the evening, but missing Christmas dinner, going out so early and not pre-booking a taxi (does she think the taxi drivers will be sitting around waiting for her call on Christmas Day?) all sounds to me like she's doing something she doesn't want you to know about.

do 18 year old really care about Christmas dinner? It's just a fancy roast, nothing special.

If she lives at home, she sees you and her family every day of the year. Would it make a difference if she was playing a Christmas football match or if she was away skiing with friends?

As long as you know her plans in advance, which you do, let her have fun. It's Christmas, it should be a happy day, not a boring day being stuck at home being bored out of your head.

Keep a happy vibe, and she'll be looking forward to come home for Christmas in a few years. If you are resentful and controlling, she won't be spending many with you in the future

I’m surprised that posters are surprised nightclubs are open on Xmas night. It’s one of their busiest nights of their year

Go with it. Grand plans like this often fall through and if they don’t, she might get it out of her system and decide against it next year.

Why would she need to give your proof! She’s 18 not 8. Back off and stop being so controlling.

Same for me in Scotland! It's a popular night to go out, surely?

I’d rather my adult kids go out Xmas day tbh. They always have awful hangovers on Xmas day

She’s 18. She gets to go if she wants to

I honestly did not know that 😂

But good for those who want to go!

She might be your child, but she isn’t a child any longer - “family Christmas” won’t always hold the same appeal for her as it once did. In coming years she’s likely to choose to spend it with a partner or with friends sometimes, traditions will change. Do you really think it’s going to be a jolly day knowing she’s with you under duress?

I’d encourage her to have Xmas dinner at home and go out afterwards, but ultimately, at 18, she can decide how she spends her day. Leave her to it.

Nightclubs arnt useally open on Xmas day. Boxing nights the night people go out

Why does she need to prove anything? If she’s actually doing something else and is lying to you it would be an idea to think why she needs to do that.

God, we always went clubbing on Christmas night! You’ll have had the whole day, do you all have to sit round in the lounge looking at each other til midnight? It’s a really fun night when you’re that age.

I don’t live near one of the big cities and there are a couple open near me.

You sound controlling. Of course the clubs are open on Xmas, she doesn't have to "prove" anything, she's an adult. Be careful not to smother her OP

You don't own your children.

Why can't she do what she wants?

If the answer starts with

"Because I...." OR mentions family time then YABU.

I’ve googled my local area and all clubs are closed Thursday, reopening Friday 🤷‍♀️

if she's planning on shagging her boyfriend all night instead, do you REALLY want to be told and shown the packs of condoms?

She wants to go out, unless she's at risk of being kidnapped by a cult or something sinister, let her be.

I always went to house parties Christmas night at that age. Spent the day with the family and headed out as my parents were settling down to watch a movie never any issues with it.

I don't think you have to be happy with it, it's completely pointless to start reeling out it's a family day if she lives with you sees you all the time anyway. She may well be going out to a pub first. Christmas dinner is just another roast to them especially if they have one every Sunday.

In the city I live close to they say that about 80% of the usual taxis will be running, due to being driven by people who don't celebrate Christmas.

Think of the miserable day your in for if you do somehow stop her going out, sulking in her room perhaps?

I compromise with my 18yr old and have her on life 360 - especially as she's driving too so I can sleep at night, she's not bothered and sticks to her plans.