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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Should dogs be invited in?

201 replies

1980isitjustme · 22/12/2025 22:48

My friend came round yesterday to drop something off but had her dog with her. I had been getting everything ready for visitors arriving to stay and have no pets - AIBU to just have a chat on the doorstep and not invite her in when it’s all clean and ready for my visitors imminent arrival? (Obviously without the dog she’d have been more than welcome).

Why do dog owners think they should take their dogs everywhere these days??

OP posts:
VikaOlson · 22/12/2025 22:49

I wouldn't invite a dog in.

christmassytimeagain · 22/12/2025 22:50

It’s pretty normal to take a dog if you’re dropping something to someone. It’s hardly out of the ordinary

vodkaredbullgirl · 22/12/2025 22:51

Well did you just talk to them on the doorstep?

TinselTitts · 22/12/2025 22:51

Why do dog owners think they should take their dogs everywhere these days??

I was with you until this weird question 😳

Your friend turned up with her dog and that means that 'dog owners think they should take their dogs everywhere these days'?

Thank goodness my two never got this memo.

averylongtimeago · 22/12/2025 22:51

I have dogs, and have delivered cards/ presents while out with the dog.

Unless calling at the home of a known dog lover or other owner, I would not expect my dog to be welcomed.

vodkaredbullgirl · 22/12/2025 22:52

waits for the bingo card

DappledThings · 22/12/2025 22:53

Nothing in your OP suggests that she expected to be invited in whether she had the dog with her or not.

How you are extrapolating from one person not expecting to be invited in to all dog owners expecting to be invited in defies all logic.

Spudthespanner · 22/12/2025 22:53

No dog is ever welcome in my home. But what’s the problem OP? You don’t mention your friend being bothered about this…

Frikadelle · 22/12/2025 22:54

Unless the dog had just been on a big, muddy walk, I’d have no problem inviting it in. I love to fuss a dog, But it’s your house and it’s up to you.

Original poster
1980isitjustme · 22/12/2025 22:56

TinselTitts · 22/12/2025 22:51

Why do dog owners think they should take their dogs everywhere these days??

I was with you until this weird question 😳

Your friend turned up with her dog and that means that 'dog owners think they should take their dogs everywhere these days'?

Thank goodness my two never got this memo.

She had said she was calling round so I thought she was stopping for a chat, so was not expecting her to turn up with the dog and felt rude just standing on the doorstep.

The other bit was added because I find it strange that it’s now ok to take dogs places that they didn’t used to be, shops only ever used to allow assistance dogs but that all seems to have changed.

OP posts:
SandAndSea · 22/12/2025 22:58

I'm an animal person. However, I once had my friend round and her dog was with us on the sofa, when I suddenly saw that she was crawling with fleas! I reviewed things after that.

Delphiniumandlupins · 22/12/2025 22:58

I often combine exercising my dog with dropping off/picking up stuff (active barter and Olio communities locally). Granted, I wouldn't expect to be invited in usually, even without dog. If it's a friend I still wouldn't expect to go into their house with my dog unless they know my dog well, he's clean and dry, and generally they have dogs too.

Original poster
1980isitjustme · 22/12/2025 22:58

Spudthespanner · 22/12/2025 22:53

No dog is ever welcome in my home. But what’s the problem OP? You don’t mention your friend being bothered about this…

It just felt rude to not invite her in so was wondering whether it would be considered unreasonable or not.

OP posts:
Fridgemanageress · 22/12/2025 22:59

i take my dog deliberately if I feel that the person I’m visiting talks to much, but then I’m a misery!

sandyhappypeople · 22/12/2025 23:00

1980isitjustme · 22/12/2025 22:56

She had said she was calling round so I thought she was stopping for a chat, so was not expecting her to turn up with the dog and felt rude just standing on the doorstep.

The other bit was added because I find it strange that it’s now ok to take dogs places that they didn’t used to be, shops only ever used to allow assistance dogs but that all seems to have changed.

Show quote history

Of course it's not rude to stand on the doorstep, if you don't have dogs and are not particularly a dog person, she would have known full well that she wasn't going to be coming in with the dog and wouldn't have expected to be invited.

It sounds like you are making more of it than it was.

In fairness a lot of people are really busy in the run up to Christmas so it makes perfect sense to combine tasks like dropping things off and walking the dog at the same time.

ThatChihuahuaMakesMeLaugh · 22/12/2025 23:00

Did your friend have an issue about not being invited in?

She was just dropping stuff off. I’ve been dropping gifts off, taking our dogs with me and the last thing I want is to be invited in because I’m busy dropping things off to lots of people. Quick doorstep chat is enough.

It seems you’re just making things up and jumping to conclusions to just start another dog bashing thread.

As for you title question, there’s no right or wrong about what should be done. You’re an adult, you decide who comes in your house. Do you really need telling?

bridgetreilly · 22/12/2025 23:01

“Hello X, how nice to see you. Sorry, I would ask you in for a cup of tea, but we don’t have dogs in the house.”

Doesn’t have to be awkward, just honest.

But also, she’s dropping something off. You don’t have to ask her in anyway. Maybe you’re busy, or the house is a mess or whatever. It’s fine.

Original poster
1980isitjustme · 22/12/2025 23:01

vodkaredbullgirl · 22/12/2025 22:51

Well did you just talk to them on the doorstep?

Yes, but it was very cold so wasn’t comfortable and made me feel inhospitable.

OP posts:
XWKD · 22/12/2025 23:01

Why shouldn't she bring her dog? You talked at the doorstep. Maybe she had other things to do.

MrsDoomsPatterson1 · 22/12/2025 23:02

Nope

dog owner here

Original poster
1980isitjustme · 22/12/2025 23:02

bridgetreilly · 22/12/2025 23:01

“Hello X, how nice to see you. Sorry, I would ask you in for a cup of tea, but we don’t have dogs in the house.”

Doesn’t have to be awkward, just honest.

But also, she’s dropping something off. You don’t have to ask her in anyway. Maybe you’re busy, or the house is a mess or whatever. It’s fine.

Edited

I did exactly this but still was feeling a bit guilty.

OP posts:
TinselTitts · 22/12/2025 23:02

1980isitjustme · 22/12/2025 22:56

She had said she was calling round so I thought she was stopping for a chat, so was not expecting her to turn up with the dog and felt rude just standing on the doorstep.

The other bit was added because I find it strange that it’s now ok to take dogs places that they didn’t used to be, shops only ever used to allow assistance dogs but that all seems to have changed.

Show quote history

But that still doesn't make sense.

If the dogs are allowed in shops, that means the dog owners are taking them to those shops.

It doesn't mean they think they should take them everywhere?

bridgetreilly · 22/12/2025 23:03

1980isitjustme · 22/12/2025 23:02

I did exactly this but still was feeling a bit guilty.

Show quote history

That is on you.

TinselTitts · 22/12/2025 23:03

All that seems to have happened is she needed to drop something off to you and thought she'd walk the dog at the same time.

Two birds, one stone.

Original poster
1980isitjustme · 22/12/2025 23:05

sandyhappypeople · 22/12/2025 23:00

Of course it's not rude to stand on the doorstep, if you don't have dogs and are not particularly a dog person, she would have known full well that she wasn't going to be coming in with the dog and wouldn't have expected to be invited.

It sounds like you are making more of it than it was.

In fairness a lot of people are really busy in the run up to Christmas so it makes perfect sense to combine tasks like dropping things off and walking the dog at the same time.

Show quote history

She had driven to get to mine, not walked. If she had walked I would agree.

OP posts: