Neighbour just told Dd Father Christmas doesn’t exist

[Grinchisbackbackagain]

Dd just went to her neighbour friends house, he’s a year older at age 8. She came back saying he said santa doesn’t exist and the parents do it and it’s just to get the kids excited 😔
I’m so upset, I didn’t work it out until a few years later and we love to do all the magical bits in our house
I didn’t know what to say and sort of denied it, I think she just knows though, feel cross!

That such a shame. I managed to get both of mine to 10 before the magic was lost. DS1 was happy to play along not to spoil it for much younger DS2. I would have denied it as well and just kept going.

Go on the website that tracks Santa on Christmas Eve - NORAD? If it’s still running. Our two both thought if it was on the computer it must be real …

You are NBU to be upset that the neighbour kid spoiled it, but to be realistic, there's always That Kid who's going to ruin it for everyone and I'm only surprised it hasn't happened at school by now. You should really have thought about the Ruiners and planned for this moment; they're everywhere. (My eldest is unfortunately a born Ruiner, despite my best efforts he was about 7 when he started saying things like "Santa doesn't exist and neither does Jesus, they're BOTH imaginary!" Little arsehole.)

You have a few minutes now, start googling what other people suggest to say and you can put together a convincing explanation to address the differences.

Not much you can do about the neighbour DC - ding let him come round before Christmas!

Wait. FC doesn't exist?

😭

I feel like texting his mum and asking can he please not say that again, that’s daft isn’t it, just so sad!

Well he’s on the naughty list clearly! Little fuxker!

Don’t not ding!!

Too late now 😢

I wouldn’t double down on the lie now that it’s been revealed.

Tell your child that Santa IS real and get the santa tracker app so they can see how far round the world he has got.

That’s a hard one - if he was 11/12 I might text her, but at 8 he’s not likely to respond to parental pleas not to spoil the magic.

If she asks can he come round I would say no and tell her.

It's not ideal timing but I never understood why adults get so upset about kids figuring it out. DC1 decided at 5 it wasn't real. DC2 at 8 is still fairly confidently believing. It makes no odds to their enjoyment of Christmas.

Tell her maybe his mum has to buy his presents because he's too naughty and then ask her what she thinks.

If she still wants to believe then she'll believe that he's too naughty, if she doesn't believe any more then she'll say parents do it.

Depends on the child, Christmas was never as magical/good to me once I found out. DS like your boys is more pragmatic.

Some obnoxious shitbag kid ruined it for my eldest and the rest of the class in yr 1!

Just laugh and say "yikes, they must be on the naughty list" 😂

Nerf the little git. Joke, joke. Sad times. Mine was always a non believer, any talk of it made him v anxious because it messed with his view of reality. Actually when he was small, I remember him asking me and I asked HIM what he wanted to be true. This was in relation to tooth fairy I think, we'd established he didn't believe in Santa or God by this point. He said he wanted it to be not true. I said that was ok. It might be easier (if it comes up again) to ask your child what they want to be true, and let them lead, rather than trying to convince them. I also told my kid never to tell others what he believed about the existence or otherwise tho - I wonder whether his mum maybe doesn't know and hasn't had chance to batten down the verbal hatches. Not that it always works anyway.

His mum has had to tell him that as he’s on the naughty list. Silly boy. Of course santa Is real!

I read about someone who faced a similar situation, @Grinchisbackbackagain. What she said to her child was “X is wrong - Father Christmas is real - but once a child stops believing in him, he can’t bring them presents any more, so the parents usually take over and fill the stocking, so they aren’t disappointed. But you still believe in FC, so he will still be filling your stocking.”

Ok granted he might have just discovered and parents are/were unaware he no longer believes.

My 9 year old still believes but maybe starting to suspect. I am very tuned into this. Once she no longer believes we will be sitting down and having a chat about how she becomes the magic. She has a much younger sibling and other family members too.

On the other hand we also have friends/family members with older children/teens that carry on the magic. It’s wonderful to see them doing that! I have brought my children up to be considerate of others and I think she will do a great job! She will love doing to Elf and help setting up presents on Christmas Eve.

Parents that don’t teach their children to be considerate of others and quite happily let them go around telling younger children Santa isn’t real, let’s face it are a holes!

My DS6 says there's been lots of debate amongst the kids in his class (year 1) with some saying he doesn't exist. He however believes Santa is real. Kids will always talk about this, I don't think you can stop it, I'm sure this is not the first time she's heard it questioned. I'd go with a 'well he might believe that' type answer myself.

I'd say that he's naughty and that's why he thinks Santa isn't real. Or Santa only comes if you believe so if he doesn't believe, of course he won't come and his parents will have to do it instead.

It's a situation that can be saved, especially when she's only 7.

I'm honestly surprised nobody has ever said that to her before now.

This happened to me when I was little, and it's actually one of my earliest memories. I think I must have been about 4, and neighbour child (about 7) ganged up on me with my older sibling (6) and they were asking me if I believed in Father Christmas. It was obvious from the context that the answer was supposed to be 'no', or I'd be teased for being babyish, and as I said 'no', I realised that actually was what I thought. So it was the act of saying it that made me realise I didn't believe.

Anyway, if it's any comfort, what I remember is a sort of hot feeling of embarrassment at being put in that position, or at being caught out possibly believing something that everyone else knew wasn't true, but I don't think I actually minded the Santa-not-being-real part and certainly didn't enjoy Christmas any less as a result. I don't think I ever believed in the tooth fairy.

Tell her that nobody knows for sure, but that you don't want to risk him not coming, so let's still do stockings anyway