Page 10 | Neighbour just told Dd Father Christmas doesn’t exist

Grinchisbackbackagain · 2025-12-22T13:38:11+00:00

Dd just went to her neighbour friends house, he’s a year older at age 8. She came back saying he said santa doesn’t exist and the parents do it and it’s just to get the kids excited 😔 I’m so upset, I didn’t work it out until a few years later and we love to do all the magical bits in our house I didn’t know what to say and sort of denied it, I think she just knows though, feel cross!

XWKD · 22/12/2025 23:12

This is a good time to explain about conspiracy theorists. "They also think the earth is flat and Covid was caused by 5G, but then they said it didn't exist at all." 🤣

RabbitFurCoat · 23/12/2025 01:06

IridiumSky · 22/12/2025 16:39

Superb parenting of an obviously intelligent child.

Well done!

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Heh ... Appreciated, though I didn't get much choice in the matter, he's very literal! I often ask him "you didn't say that TO the person, did you?" in our conversations... He's quite brutal at times! Thankfully understands when to be kind, but again, that's him, not me. What's really funny is he is staunchly atheist but doing really well in RE which amuses me no end. I think the teacher must enjoy having someone who actually takes an interest, in any direction. 😆

KatMansfield6 · 23/12/2025 01:29

ClawedButler · 22/12/2025 15:00

Aye well more fool the neighbour's kid, because he's put himself firmly on the naughty list.

OK, Santa the big fat guy in the red suit who lives at the North Pole, as a person, a physical person...no, he probably doesn't exist (although it's never been proven).

But when adults talk about Santa, it's a metaphor that we use to explain it to little kids. 'Santa' is actually the spirit of giving, of generosity and loving. So yes, it's adults doing it, but it's easier for little ones to understand a character like Santa rather than a vague 'spirit of giving', so that's why we say it.

She is old enough now to understand this, because she is a big girl and clever with it. The boy from next door only thinks he's clever - he's only worked out half the story.

Santa is very real. You see it everywhere, wherever there is gift-giving, sharing and thoughtfulness.

This is so odd. Like santa is some sort of replacement post Christendom God.

I have always loved Christmas and my DC do too. We don't do Father Christmas. I wouldn't double down -- enjoying a story together is one thing, active lying is a strange thing to advocate for.

We've never done Father Christmas because we don't want to confuse our DC -- we're bringing them up to have a faith and don't want this to be disrupted by a realization that we've encouraged them to believe something that isn't true. Id say there is a lot of evidence on this thread that the emptiness of Christmas without any celebration of Jesus has led people to rely far too much on belief in Santa. In the end this fails as Santa doesn't exist and every child will realize that eventually. And the emptiness reappears. A celebration when you're not actually celebrating anything is going to feel strange.

There is so much that is wonderful about Christmas -- making mince pies and Christmas puddings, buying a new tree decorations each year, collecting plants from the garden for our garlands and wreaths, lighting our advent candles, our new annual board game, presents, singing carols around the piano, candlelight carol services, midnight mass. A sense that we are celebrating something mysterious and wonderful. And all of these are things our DC can carry into adulthood (even if the teens are a bit embarrassed to sing these days). Maybe it's time to come up with some new traditions?

Bollihobs · 23/12/2025 03:13

MorphandMindy · 22/12/2025 13:44

You are NBU to be upset that the neighbour kid spoiled it, but to be realistic, there's always That Kid who's going to ruin it for everyone and I'm only surprised it hasn't happened at school by now. You should really have thought about the Ruiners and planned for this moment; they're everywhere. (My eldest is unfortunately a born Ruiner, despite my best efforts he was about 7 when he started saying things like "Santa doesn't exist and neither does Jesus, they're BOTH imaginary!" Little arsehole.)

You have a few minutes now, start googling what other people suggest to say and you can put together a convincing explanation to address the differences.

Jesus existed.... he isn't "imaginary"....🤔

Whether he is the son of God or was simply a preacher/philosopher is a matter of belief but he existed as a person.

Ladyzfactor · 23/12/2025 03:17

NewHere83 · 22/12/2025 15:25

An 8 year old telling the truth to another child is not a "horrible child". Honestly, some people are ridiculous.

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Exactly, 8 is a perfectly acceptable time to find out. I figured it out at 6 by myself. I've seen parents on here devastated that their 11 year old has been told. Your kids will figure it out eventually. It's ok if they start growing up

bleakmidwintering · 23/12/2025 04:17

Say ‘you know in the film polar express there’s a little boy that shakes the bell and he can’t hear it because he doesn’t believe’ ‘well that’s him, what a shame’

MeAndTheDoggo · 23/12/2025 04:29

NewHere83 · 22/12/2025 15:25

An 8 year old telling the truth to another child is not a "horrible child". Honestly, some people are ridiculous.

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I agree. At 8 I bet it was more a ‘I know something want to hear it?’ Rather than ‘I’m going to ruin your Christmas’

OonaStubbs · 23/12/2025 04:30

There needs to be laws protecting belief in Santa just like there are laws protecting belief in other deities.

QuietLifeNoDrama · 23/12/2025 05:41

I think it’s a little unreasonable on your part to have not anticipated this happening before now. We all hope that no one will spoil it for our DC but 8 is not overly young. By that age most are starting to ask questions themselves. It’s up to you now to let them know they are now a part of the magic and continuing it on for others.

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 23/12/2025 06:03

KatMansfield6 · 23/12/2025 01:29

This is so odd. Like santa is some sort of replacement post Christendom God.

I have always loved Christmas and my DC do too. We don't do Father Christmas. I wouldn't double down -- enjoying a story together is one thing, active lying is a strange thing to advocate for.

We've never done Father Christmas because we don't want to confuse our DC -- we're bringing them up to have a faith and don't want this to be disrupted by a realization that we've encouraged them to believe something that isn't true. Id say there is a lot of evidence on this thread that the emptiness of Christmas without any celebration of Jesus has led people to rely far too much on belief in Santa. In the end this fails as Santa doesn't exist and every child will realize that eventually. And the emptiness reappears. A celebration when you're not actually celebrating anything is going to feel strange.

There is so much that is wonderful about Christmas -- making mince pies and Christmas puddings, buying a new tree decorations each year, collecting plants from the garden for our garlands and wreaths, lighting our advent candles, our new annual board game, presents, singing carols around the piano, candlelight carol services, midnight mass. A sense that we are celebrating something mysterious and wonderful. And all of these are things our DC can carry into adulthood (even if the teens are a bit embarrassed to sing these days). Maybe it's time to come up with some new traditions?

Show quote history

To be fair people are entitled to believe in Santa as much as they are entitled to believe in Jesus.

They’re both beliefs based on real men and then faith does the heavy lifting
🤷🏻‍♀️

Empress13 · 23/12/2025 06:23

Kids will be kids and tbh it could have been said at school at any time. It’s just one of those things out of your control. Some good ideas from PP on damage limitation

flytyer27 · 27/12/2025 19:27

Topseyt123 · 22/12/2025 15:20

You really can't control or plan for what suddenly emerges from a child's mouth, especially if the child who says it isn't your own.

I don't see why you can't continue do all of the things that have made the magic in your house though. I would just continue with your own traditions.

Agree you can't plan for everything. Years ago Father Christmas visited our local primary school. DS came home from school and said, with a somewhat puzzled expression "Father Christmas was riding Daniel's dad's horse".

Itsjustmethatsall · 27/12/2025 22:06

It's bound to happen sooner or later. When my daughter shocked me by saying it, and she was only quite young, she said she'd known for years, but she was just going along with the pretence because she knew I'd be upset with the cat out the bag! 😂

Fionuala · 28/12/2025 08:42

Don't ever accept his amazon parcels.
What a that.

Minglingpringle · 28/12/2025 13:14

I don’t think the “magic” is all that amazing. It’s just a massive benevolent conspiracy to lie to kids. I remember as a child knowing it wasn’t true but not revealing it, as I didn’t want to upset my parents or rock the boat with the whole presents thing.

Yes, Santa is a bit of fun, and I did it with my children. But whenever they started asking if he was real, I would just say “That’s something I leave you to decide for yourself”. I value my relationship of honesty and reliability with them much more than some silly Santa story that you kind of have to go along with because society does (and is also a fun idea, I do agree).

I could tell where they were at with their understanding by how they dealt with my answer. If they said nothing, I think they were just taking my comment as confirming what they already thought. If they said “Oh Mum, you’re so frustrating!” I realised they were still
unsure. The answer isn’t as obvious a tell as you might think, for a small child.

1offnamechange · 28/12/2025 13:42

Fionuala · 28/12/2025 08:42

Don't ever accept his amazon parcels.
What a that.

how many amazon parcels do you think an 8 year old orders?

Snugglemonkey · 28/12/2025 16:14

Hufflebuffs · 22/12/2025 14:50

8 year olds are not naughty or shit bags because they tell other kids the truth. Telling your kids that another child is naughty is horrible in these circumstances. And when that child gets stonkingly good presents from Santa your child is going to think that naughty pays off anyway.

Tell you’re child their friend has made a mistake if you want to keep it going, but honestly I reckon at 8 they are not far off realising it’s not true anyway.

They are naughty. They know telling other children is not a nice thing to do. A 3 year telling another child, probably doesn't understand, granted. But anyone over 5 should absolutely understand that they are not allowed to tell, that it is very unkind and is being a little shit if they do.

Minglingpringle · 28/12/2025 17:55

There’s something dark and murky about telling children there’s a big secret lie they mustn’t reveal to anyone else. And then telling them they’re naughty if they do.

Carycach4 · 31/12/2025 08:43

No way would i be telling my kid to lie. Age 7 to 8 is the average age for kids stopping their belief anyway. When i hear about kids older than this still believing, i think they are either humouring their parents or the kid is a bit of a wuss!