Neighbour just told Dd Father Christmas doesn’t exist

[Grinchisbackbackagain]

Dd just went to her neighbour friends house, he’s a year older at age 8. She came back saying he said santa doesn’t exist and the parents do it and it’s just to get the kids excited 😔
I’m so upset, I didn’t work it out until a few years later and we love to do all the magical bits in our house
I didn’t know what to say and sort of denied it, I think she just knows though, feel cross!

Sure, but it’s only one, very small logical step from there to the final revelation. If children who don’t believe in Santa get exactly the same presents, then there’s no need for Santa, and not believing becomes much easier.

An 8 year old telling the truth to another child is not a "horrible child". Honestly, some people are ridiculous.

This, lots of parents seem to have forgotten that Santa is supposed to be fun and magic and are so caught up in keeping up the lie and start hating other little children who won't keep it up too. It's crazy.
Calling other children names because they spoiled the adults fun 🤔

You sound horrid. A child sharing new information they’ve learnt with another child is entirely developmentally appropriate behaviour. Children don’t have the impulse control that adults do.

Of course, which isn't a bad thing at 7. I just don't think that revealing all just days before Christmas is necessary so would be saying what I have to in an attempt to salvage the situation.

Let her have this Christmas and see what heading towards next Christmas brings.

This. You really can't control your child finding out the truth and it's usually another child who tells them.

I feel so sorry for the children whose parents don't just let them enjoy Christmas but insist they must believe the story or else they are horrible, naughty little children who deserve nothing.

Truly the spirit of Christmas 😂

So many of these crazy, angsty threads year after year... Why is the response never the entirely reasonable "oh well, everyone believes something different, that's okay. We can all chose what we want to believe it"

Rather than the (very un-christmas spirited) "naughty little shit bag kid must be on the bad list"

Some of y'all are winding yourselves up like a top over this 😁

Well that’s buggered up my Christmas and I’m 53! 🤷‍♀️

I've heard somebody say essentially this to their children (about a 7 year old classmate) in real life. She was very proud of herself.

I made a mental note that she was absolutely unhinhed and never to send my child to a playdate with theirs unsupervised by me.

My DS1 had that in school when younger. Some muslim kids said it: I explained that they don't do christmas so ofcourse santa claus will not come to their house. Another boy said it as well; I told him that the boy had surely been so naughty that father christmas won't come to his house- but not to worry- his parents will surely buy him Christmas gifts. It worked! He believed until 10 years old!

Thank you, my DH was horrified I didn’t fib and keep it going for a few more years, so I did question myself that year a lot!
My older ones are the oldest of all the children within our families and they are so sweet with their little cousins/sibling when they are making their Christmas preparations, they themselves still get Santa stockings and hang them up ready, so it’s made little difference really to their Christmases thankfully!

Sure, but tying oneself up in elaborate lies for the sake of - at most - a few more days of strained belief, is not worth it. The child will remember the time they asked their parent a straight question and were lied to, not ‘the magic.’

That would be utterly ridiculous. Don't be silly.

These were children playing and talking. An 8 year old is still a child. He is only a year or so older than OP's daughter. He is not obliged to believe in Father Christmas and saying so doesn't make him spiteful or bad at all.

I honestly just don't get all of the outrage that comes out on these threads. Children of this age are often starting to question. It's normal. Some continue to believe for a while longer and others don't. Just carry on with your usual Christmas traditions regardless. It doesn't need to have spoilt anything.

Yay, well done you 🤣

Mine are 11 and 9 and I’m keeping going with “well you don’t have to believe if you don’t want to, but I still do!” It’s working pretty well so far.

Thank you even though I suspect it's sarcastic.

I would say to her oh he has quite the imagination doesn't he! Thank goodness that isn't true. We wouldn't be able to afford to get you nearly the same amount of presents as Santa does.

My youngest, aged about 7, told my boss "I know Santa isn't real, but don't tell mum coz she likes playing it and so do I". She's a teenager now, and we still enjoy the make-believe.

If it comes up, smile and say "well, you'll need to wait and see if he comes!" or suchlike. Then lean in to the NORAD stuff, just because it's a bit of fun. Like going to a film - you know it's not real, but you still cry at the sad bits.

I literally got a text like this from a mum of my son's friend. I rolled my eyes and ignored it .

Bonkers isn’t it. Even today dd asked do I believe in heaven. I said well I’m not sure but some people do.

My standard answer to Santa / Easter bunny / religious things is pretty much some people do and some people don’t.

Well, is telling your child that their friend is naughty/bad/undeserving of presents really in the spirit of Christmas?? I mean, come on, you are an adult yourself, you know better than that

Yes that would be daft! Kids find out from the older kids at primary school. Mine were 8/9 when they discovered the truth! My friend's daughter was 12 when she was told! She got bullied a little for saying , "Santa's real, I've met him in the North Pole!" (she did to be fair!)

Is it really such an elaborate lie to say that if a child doesn't believe, of course the only way they will get presents is if the parents buy them? Especially since many children receive presents from their parents and Santa anyway?

Parents lie all of the time and not just about Santa.

The toy shop is closed today
The sweets are all gone
The food is spicy so unfortunately I can't share it
If you sit too close to the TV, your eyes will turn square
If the wind changes, your face will stay like that
The music from the ice cream van means that the ice cream has ran out

Yet the vast, vast majority of children grow up and trust their parents unless they have actual reasons not to trust them which is very unlikely to include ''You told me an extra lie about Santa 3 days before Christmas''.

Yes me too, it's just such a no brainer isn't it!

Some people believe in x, some believe in y, here's my beliefs and hopes and wishes, what are hours?

There is absolutely no need to tell your kid that their friends are naughty because they believe in something different than you