Neighbour just told Dd Father Christmas doesn’t exist

[Grinchisbackbackagain]

Dd just went to her neighbour friends house, he’s a year older at age 8. She came back saying he said santa doesn’t exist and the parents do it and it’s just to get the kids excited 😔
I’m so upset, I didn’t work it out until a few years later and we love to do all the magical bits in our house
I didn’t know what to say and sort of denied it, I think she just knows though, feel cross!

Also they do have to figure it out sometime. I actually think it's weird when parents take it to 10/11 etc - how much crushing reality do we want them to have to absorb in the short teenage years?

Well, he probably doesn’t come for him. He doesn’t bother turning up if you don’t believe/are a little shite.

I think it's entirely unreasonable to call a child a 'shitbag' because they tell the truth. I know that wasn't you OP.

And I strongly suspect your DD has already heard this at school, or read it in a book. However, I reckon your best bet is the Santa tracker.

I think it’s likely that she’ll have heard that suggestion before. Most children find out from other children.

You can still keep up the pretence. Just say “well, he might think that but how does he know?” and carry on as you were. I think as kids get older there’s generally a bit of make-believe involved. It’s different but it’s still lovely.

Does he have older siblings?

I've reported OP for making up stories that Father Christmas isn't real.
Of course he's real.

Ah well.

People who want to keep the magic going when their kid has been told - at what point do you accept they know the truth?
When you tell them?

At some point it’s going to come out as made up, so how do you decide when is ok? Surely this is just life deciding that moment?

The alternative is convincing your children that loads of people out in the world are liars, until they discover that actually it’s their own parent keeping the lie going and telling them everyone else are liars!!
🤯

This happened to me at a similar age, older friend spilt the beans. My parents were way more upset about it than I was.

You cannot stop your child from hearing that FC doesn’t exist from other children. That has happened to every child for as long as parents in this country have been doing FC. And if your child has readily accepted what this other child has told them, it’s a sign that they were already on the verge.

Just say they must be very naughty then!

When my ds was 7 a friend told him Santa isn’t real. He came home from school and said to me that his friend was really stupid and that Santa is real because he told him how lazy I was sleeping all days (I was working nights at the time!) and there’s no way I’d have been able to sort all those presents out !!!

We’re talking about a 7 year old, not a 4 year old. They were already at the end of the line. There’s a difference between ‘keeping the magic going’ and bare-faced lies that are far more about the parent being unable to accept that their child is growing up than the interests of said child.

The magic of Christmas is so much more than Father Christmas. You should focus on other elements. Kids find out - that’s life.

My parents never really done FC properly for me and my siblings growing up and I’m so glad they didn’t. I only do it vaguely for my kids and they adore Christmas for so many other reasons. Start making it exciting and special in new ways and you’ll have many more brilliant Christmases ahead.

Sorry OP this is a rubbish thing to happen just before Christmas.

You've already said that he is real so just leave it for now. If they ask again go with some of the suggestions on this thread.

Isn't this just a normal part of childhood?

If you find yourself calling an 8 year old a fucker or a shitbag or are thinking about telling your child that another kid is naughty so santa doesn't come to him you might want to ask yourself what actually IS the magic of christmas.

YANBU to be sad that she knows now. But at the same time, I feel 7/8 is a reasonable time to find out. I’m always very surprised at the number of 10 year olds people claim still believe, and do kind of wonder if they’re unusually credulous or not that bright (or pretending to believe and their parents are the credulous ones)

My son just turned 4 and he’s already asked why he’s seen Santas that look different from each other and why everywhere seems to have a Santa when we go out. The magic explanation works at his age, but I’d be surprised if he made it to 7 believing.

Gosh why go to such great lengths to lie? Its meant to be a bit of fun. Lying so much just isnt setting a good example and it ruins christmas for them when they do find out if you push it too far.

Not days before Christmas, that's for sure. I'd do what I could to try and salvage it for this year and see what leading up to next year brings.

“That’s strange they think that, Santa is definitely real”.

Just because their bubble is burst, doesn’t mean your daughters has to be.

We’re all lying!!!

Is it weird to text the mum? Don’t want to make it awkward or look like i’m blaming her

I think at 7 you're probably best going with a muted response of 'Oh how silly' or similar. And if she asks outright ask if she really wants to know.

My six year old started questioning it all in the summer (prompted by a Tooth Fairy visit) and I slightly panicked and said I wasn't sure Santa comes to children who don't believe. But actually, he's now nearly 7 and I suspect doesn't believe, but knows he's best not mentioning it... 😂

I definitely pretended to my parents for a few years.

Well your ‘ruiner’ son isn’t right though is he. Did you correct him?
While the massive commercial concept of ‘Father Christmas’ isn’t true -Jesus certainly wasn’t imaginary.
He may or may not have been a prophet/son of God but he without question exsisted and was not imaginary. I would have been horrified if my child went into school and deliberately told kids things to ‘ruin’ things for them.

I think by 7 or 8, most children already have their suspicions anyway.

I'll be honest: I don't remember ever truly believing in Father Christmas even when I was very tiny. I still found Christmas a lovely and magical time, though. I still loved leaving out a brandy and a mince pie for Father Christmas and a bunch of carrots for the reindeer, I still loved writing my letter to him to tell him what I'd like him to bring me and I was still incredibly excited to find my stocking full of presents at the end of my bed in the morning. It was all completely lovely and fun and special. I have incredibly happy memories of Christmases from when I was little and I think most kids are perfectly capable of knowing/suspecting Santa isn't real while also completely buying into the magic of the pretence.