Neighbour just told Dd Father Christmas doesn’t exist

[Grinchisbackbackagain]

Dd just went to her neighbour friends house, he’s a year older at age 8. She came back saying he said santa doesn’t exist and the parents do it and it’s just to get the kids excited 😔
I’m so upset, I didn’t work it out until a few years later and we love to do all the magical bits in our house
I didn’t know what to say and sort of denied it, I think she just knows though, feel cross!

There’s not a it can be done unfortunately. Other than say what you want dd to hear. I had this once with a colleagues son who at 10 told my sons who was 4 😢 fortunately he was easily persuaded. The older they get the more likely they’ve heard it anyway.

That one's easy: Father Christmas is too busy at this time of year to do all the appearances himself so he has elves stand in for him. But sometimes he likes to turn up himself, so you never know if it's really him or one of his elves.

Yes, very weird. Millions of children have been told by millions of other children that FC doesn’t exist. It’s not a big deal. Your child is 7 so would have grown out of it soon anyway. Kindly, you need to get over your disappointment by yourself and not drag her into it.

You can save this. Say that there are always people that don't believe and that Santa doesn't come to their house. They are the modern day Scrooge.

That might work on a four year old, but it would be a very naive 7/8 year old who would fall for that.

Aren’t some kids horrible. That’s life unfortunately

I came across this many moons ago and always thought it was lovely. Obviously adaptable depending on situation. But anyway....

https://www.raisinglemons.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/explaining-Santa.pdf

This.

I would. Who knows how many kids he's going round telling otherwise! They might have other kids in the family (cousins etc) he could spill too so she might appreciate a heads up before she gets cornered by parents less calm than you!

She might not even know that he knows herself, he could have got all that from his friends and just be passing it on while she is oblivious.

You don't have to kick off or anything just a "just to let you know, x came home a bit upset because y told her father Christmas wasn't real. Seems like he went into a bit of detail about it just being parents who do it for their kids etc. I know they all find out eventually but would have preferred it if he could have held on a few days!" (Up to you whether you want to include smiley face to indicate you're not taking it too seriously)

And this is why my parents and grandparents never lied. to us as children. Never took any of the excitement away.

Fun sponge here but I don't think any lying to kids is a good idea. Just my thoughts, we never did any santa, we're pagans, nor tooth fairy stuff with the kids either. As large family they knew that I bought them presents to celebrate the winter solstice and did all the 'magic' stuff. They've said as adults they loved what we did as everything went on for so much longer, Food treats, outings etc they had family gifts for solstice and then other family would give at christmas.

I wasn’t asking for ways to deal with it, just noting that the whole thing relies on children being credulous and wanting to believe in first place

I also think the “Santa hires people to stand in for him at appearances” is a pretty stupid explanation. Why would you bother visiting a Santa you know is probably fake? My 4 year old would think that stupid, even if he still believed in the real Santa (or especially if he did- why would he visit a probably fake Santa rather than just write to the real one?). And why tell your child that most of them are definitely fake and risk your child sharing that with their friends and getting considered a “ruiner” or “little shitbag” by other parents?

My youngest was told by another little boy at his preschool at age 4. The other boy doesn't celebrate Christmas in any way. The mother laughed when she told me what her son had said to my son. She was a reasonably nice person in general, but I thought that was fairly clueless.

I maybe would text the mum. Not to blame her or be cross, what’s done is done and 7/8 is a pretty normal age to figure it out and to talk about it with friends, but I’d want to give her a heads up in case they have any little ones coming round so you can save the kid from telling, for example, his 3YO cousin.

MyDogHumpsThings
I wouldn’t double down on the lie now that it’s been revealed.

Theyre only 8!!!

I mean to ask her nicely please could he not mention it again

This thread comes up at least 4 or 5 times every year.

My parents had 5 kids and had the same problem, I had 3 kids and had exactly the same problem.

All we simply said was that Santa doesn't come to those who don't believe.

And considering what a multicultural country we live in, I think this is the best reply.

Did your dd believe him? I was told at 8 (by my best friend) that FC wasn’t real and I laughed and smiled along with her pretending I knew what she was saying was true but in my head I still thought “of course FC is real” and I refused to accept what she’d said. Then a year of so later on Christmas Eve, I woke as my mum was putting toys in my stocking and realised what my friend had said was true. And it wasn’t upsetting because she’d already drip fed me the idea so in my head I was like “oooh…yeah…parents being FC makes much more sense”.

Anyway, I’m sorry your dd found this out now when she’s still so young.

8 year olds are not naughty or shit bags because they tell other kids the truth. Telling your kids that another child is naughty is horrible in these circumstances. And when that child gets stonkingly good presents from Santa your child is going to think that naughty pays off anyway.

Tell you’re child their friend has made a mistake if you want to keep it going, but honestly I reckon at 8 they are not far off realising it’s not true anyway.

7

This child's mum really has no control over them telling a technical truth. I would be upset, they're still so young, but it's hardly something their mum has control over.

They are generally suspicious by this age anyway.
My manager used to insist repeatedly that her 17 old son still believed. What, seriously, after six years in a comprehensive? It was rather difficult to answer her.

I’d say he was probably on the naughty list when he was younger.

Emailing the mum would be ridiculous!