Neighbour just told Dd Father Christmas doesn’t exist

[Grinchisbackbackagain]

Dd just went to her neighbour friends house, he’s a year older at age 8. She came back saying he said santa doesn’t exist and the parents do it and it’s just to get the kids excited 😔
I’m so upset, I didn’t work it out until a few years later and we love to do all the magical bits in our house
I didn’t know what to say and sort of denied it, I think she just knows though, feel cross!

Aw, that’s a pity. It can’t be helped though. Loads of other kids told DS1 there was no Santa and he thought they were lying. We had to break it to him at age 11, just before he started high school. He’s such a sceptical, logical person now and, looking back, it’s hard to believe he clung on for so long. We just kept it going because he didn’t give a stuff what his friends said and was having a great time with it all. I did ask him a few years later if he had pretended to still believe and he said no. As far as he was concerned we had been upfront about not believing in God (which isn’t so common in NI) so we must be telling the truth about Santa being real. He doesn’t hate us🤣

I have it on good authority that, even if you don't technically celebrate Christmas, Father Christmas will still come to your house if your parents ask him to!

I personally think 8 years old is ole enough, maybe 9..
I find it a bit strange when 11-13 years old are still believing in that.
But yes I understand why you would be upset because it does take that magic away that you both share.

I could t get worked up about this but then my five year old has already pretty much decided that Santa doesn’t exist (he’s very logical and can’t get his head around it). At 7/8 I’d think twice about doubling down on the lie as surely it will only be another year or so before she finds out the truth anyway? I think I’d just ask her what she thinks if she mentions it again and leave it at that.

If you never believed then you can't say the excitement was not taken away. One of my greatest memories was having our granddaughter staying and standing outside at about 6pm, freezing our extremities off, watching FC flying over, no child has ever gone to bed and been fast asleep as quickly, 'I must go asleep, he's very near now, isn't he'. International Space Station, thank you for your role in her happiness.

Quite a few non-Christian families have cunning children who still expect presents at Christmas and Easter, one crafy little sod seriously told his father that presents were necessary to show their respect for Christianity, just like their Christian friends enjoyed Divali and other celebrations.

You know full well what I meant

I would just move on from it and don’t mention it again. Do the mince pies and carrots on Christmas Eve as usual - she will be happy to play along. I would keep the party line … not sure what happens in neighbours house but in our house Santa delivers the toys ….

My friends older brother told me when I was about 7 and my Grans response was that those on the nice list got a visit from Santa, those on the naughty list had to rely on their parents who didn't want the world to know they had naughty kids. She let me read into that what I wanted.

By that age it's perfectly possible he's worked it out him self. I get why you are upset that's ok, but there's no need for him not to say it again unless he was trying to upset your kid. He is just saying what he believes, he it's bad or wrong for doing that.

There's a film on this year on C4 - Finding Father Christmas - starring Lenny Rush

Watch it with her , let her make up her own mind

I got pulled apart on here last Christmas for telling my 12 yo granddaughter the truth. She had a pretty good idea anyways, she has seen the pressies being hidden, being told there was no spare money for the chippy etc . And this year she has had to cope with the fact we grandparents haven't got her a pressie for christmas morning because she needed / wanted a new phone when down two weeks ago, We said we would buy it but she was not getting anything else for Christmas Day

It can be sad when the childrens belief goes, but it it doesnt take the joy and excitement away. I remember being 8 and still being awake when mum and aunt snuck into our room at midnight, I still have memories of being under four and needing the toilet and walking in on mum and dad painting a dolls house that appeared at the bottom of sisters bed from Santa . but I still got caught up with the magic of christmas,

My youngest desperately wanted to continue believing but was also very aware other children said FC wasn’t real and that their parents did the sack/stocking. My response was to say that FC is real but that all children stop believing at some stage and that when they do FC gets in touch with the parents to say the believing has stopped and at this point the parents agree to take over. I marvelled at my own genius (ha!) because there is kind of nothing anyone can say to counteract that. If she’d said “well I don’t believe it any more” then I’d have said “that’s OK, then I’ll do FC presents and we can just pretend FC has left them”.

She got to believe for another couple of years and was 10 when she finally demanded the ABSOLUTE TRUTH as I think none of her friends believed by then. My DS was actually really good and although he’d worked it out for himself years ago, he knew it was on pain of death should he spoil it for his younger sister.

It is also entirely possible that he is wondering about santa and said that to the OP's dd to test whether she agreed or not - maybe he was hoping for a "don't be silly of course he is real"

So many loving mothers, infused with the spirit of christmas, on this thread who are happy to call a small boy a shit, a fucker, a horrible child, and want to tell him that santa is real but doesn't come to him because he is bad.

My daughter came back from school age 5 and said another child had told her FC doesn’t exist. She didn’t seem too upset so I asked her what she thought, and she replied confidently, “It can’t be you and dad because you’re too fat to get down the chimney.” 🤣

Non believers don’t get a Father Christmas gift or stocking is what i told my son when he had a few questions . He knows I buy presents too as well as Father Christmas bringing what he asked for . You. Could definitely style it out if it’s not too late ?

Thats completely reasonable to message his mum about it, I can see my DS doing it and would want to know so I could have another talk with him about it (have already told him not to ruin it for others when he first worked it out, but can imagine hes tempted to tell others if he hasn't already..)
Tell your DD that some children are naughty and so they dont believe in santa if he doesnt bring them a present for being on the good list. It will likely fit with the children who cant follow the "dont tell others" rules behaviour so should be believable!

I w text the mum saying X told your daughter Santa didn’t exist so they’re not going to meet uo again before Christmas as she’s still very young

@Grinchisbackbackagain just ignore and crack on.
My lot (aged 16 to 21) made me stock up on mince pies to leave out for Santa earlier. Apparently we already have enough oats and carrots.
When DS was questioning, I'd just shrug and ask if he wanted to risk not believing.
They soon get over it and carry on for fun.

This was me! One house did “Santa just delivers the presents”, the other house did “All the presents are from Santa” 🤣 and it just led to me thinking House 2 didn’t care 🫣 oh dear.

I knew santa was all fake when i was about 5.
I dont do christmas either.

But as an adult id never tell any child it was fake and santa dont exist.

I know who us the obnoxious one saying that about a 5 year old telling the truth!

Completely. Kids talk about things they're experiencing, questions they have and things they've found out. He's not deliberately trying to destroy OP's kid's innocence. Some decidedly un-Christmassy sentiments on this thread.

Solipsism. Love it.

I remember a couple of boys in my class telling everyone Santa wasn’t real when we were about 6/7. Except the boys involved really were horrible bulllying little shits so I figured there’s no way in hell Santa’s bringing them presents so their parents are just trying to make them feel better! And continued believing for another year or 2!

But there is always a kid who says this truth at most ages. It's up to you how you deal with it.