Who else Is dreading the Christmas drive on Christmas day ?

[SonnyHoney]

Who does a big drive there and back on Christmas day and hates it ??

3 days to go and I've literally thought about it multiple times on a daily basis.

My husband and I are self employed business owners, We are exhausted. He works 13 hours most days
I'm also recovering from recurring shingles, it takes it out of me for weeks after.
We have 2 children 16 and 10, They love seeing family but hate being away from home every Christmas day.

Every year we visit family 90 miles...can take about 1.40 mins to 2 hours.

I love seeing my family, but the whole of Christmas is just taken up doing the drive.

One year I asked If we could do Christmas eve or boxing day, I've been told that wasn't an option and it caused a lot family upset.

Last year one of my nieces spent the whole time in her room, And the other niece purposefully excluded my daughter (10) And eventually made her cry on Christmas day. My sister did tell her off, but we are all expected to move on after that.

I just feel like this Day isn't for me or it's about pleasing my family.

All month I've been telling myself I would tell them I'm not coming, Haven't mustered up the courage.

I know I'm being a big baby, I just need to vent

I feel a bout of sick bug in your future OP.

You're knackered, shingles is no joke. You need to rest.

Pull a sickie and go visit at the weekend. Let them sulk.

Maybe they'll sulk so much, you'll.get next year as well.

One good thing about lockdown was how much I loved spending Christmas in the house. I'll never go visiting again.

YABU. Why are you doing it?

Don’t be bullied by them,OP. What will actually happen if you say no? They might be a bit annoyed and upset but no actually harm will be done to anyone. If they don’t speak to you for a while, I’d call that a win! Give yourself permission to stay at home.

Juat don't go. If they can't be flexible you don't need to put yourself out.

I've voted YABU because you continue to put yourselves and your children through it. Just say no, this year we're staying put and you're welcome to come to us. And if they get upset well they can just get over it like you were expected to do when your daughter was excluded last year.

This. It sounds like the OP asked for permission not to put herself and her family through this ordeal on Xmas Day.

Just TELL them. You're a grown-up with your own family, FFS!

You are NOT being a big baby OP! The time has come to say no, you’re staying home this year whether family like it or not. There’s no pleasure in feeling obliged to travel to salve someone else’s ego.
Your own family should be your priority. Stay home, and get some proper rest too.

Do not go.

who cares if they get upset and sulk.

You really need to look out more for yourself.

Don’t go.

Don’t martyr yourself anymore.

Is no-one on here actually looking forward to Christmas? We'll get up, open a few parcels, go for a walk, head to daughters for dinner with grandchildren, in-laws and granny. Eat some delicious food, play a few games, have a couple of drinks. A lovely day.
I appreciate that Christmas, for some, can be difficult for all sorts of reasons but it would be nice to hear that some people will have a nice day.

You or someone in the house needs to develop flu or norovirus. It's ridiculous to make yourself and the rest of your immediate family miserable in order to pacify your sister but if you can't actually tell them then illness it'll have to be. Flu is probably best excuse, spend the day on the couch and then the children don't have to lie to.
Then in January tell the family that you found Xmas at home best for your family, if they throw a hissy fit and say they don't want to work with suggested alternatives so be it. I don't know how your DH puts up with this every year

We always travelled to family for Xmas.

Now we go the week before and have Xmas at home - I have had a lovely week seeing a lot of different family from all over, but we are now heading back to our own lovely low key christmas.

Put your kids first Op.

Just stop being so wet. Why do people do this????

YABU for being a total mug.

When the kids were younger and everyone wanted to stay at home (different parts of the country) we got together the weekend before Christmas and either got takeaway or ate out. Now everyone's grown up we do it at new year when everyone's a bit more chilled.

The power of no. Your teenagers will be happier.
Please cancel. I'm 55 with teenagers single mum, there is no way I'd Subject them to what you describe here.
Our drive is 20 mins that's long enough. Your anxiety and cortisol levels don't need this....

I can’t believe people actually put themselves through this every year. Just say no???

I could be there by Thursday!

There’s a lot of flu about and you wouldn’t want to pass it on to your family would you.

I voted YABU because you’ve unnecessarily put yourself and your family through this misery every year just because you can’t say no. Get a grip and live your own life instead of living under the expectations of people who don’t have your true wellbeing at heart.

The U.K. is so overcrowded that EVERYTHING is much harder. When I visited Australia, I was struck by the calmness and friendliness of the people. But that’s because Australia isn’t overcrowded. There is more space. People aren’t all jammed on top of one another in overpriced rabbit hutch houses. The roads aren’t choked with traffic either.

Every car journey, every shopping trip, every jog around the block is more difficult and stressful than it should be because there are just too many people.

She doesn't have to "invent" anything. She's not been well, she and her husband are exhausted and she doesn't want to go.

It's bonkers isn't it? So many of these "issues" could be solved by people learning not to be so bloody wet.

How can people know whether they will have a nice Day, until it actually happens? Of course lots of people are planning to have a nice Day! I am hoping to have a nice Day, for sure.

You’re a grown adult! We have only done this a few times since our DC were small and if the experience was as you describe we would have not done it at all!!

Sr d s message now and send DH to the shops to get what you need. Answer no calls, just text and keep it brief. ‘We love you but we’re too ill to travel this year.’

You should have said no