Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

[Lockingthegins]

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

I thought of that storyline immediately I started reading OP's post! It is very similar!

It was obvious what your post meant about being U18 in clubs. I have done much the same.

I personally know 2 people convicted, one was fairly high profile, they had a relationship with a 15 yo, she had lied abiut age but he continued things once he knew (consensual but her parents decided they didnt like it when he ended things) and the other person met her in a pub (ons) and her parents reported him when they found out, this was over 50 years ago, he was only 19 but it was on his record and I knew of it due to his police checks for work.

I can't imagine finding an 18 yo man attractive at 28, I didnt even find them attractive when I was 16/17 and wpuld have gone for 28+ yo old at that age. Obviously legally nothing wrong but any MN thread about the other way round has very different answers.

What are you expecting the responses to be, whether you agree, or not, he’s an adult.
To clarify there’s a 10 year age gap, as l’m sure you already know, there are plenty of older men, who have sex, with much younger women, young enough to be their daughters actually, so therefore, why would there be judgment here🙄

So they both lied about their age.Hmm that’s convenient for him, it’s not a lifelong happy memory for him now, well maybe he shouldn’t have lied then, clearly he suspected, she was much older than him if she was indeed 40.

I never understand the feelings of disgust this type of thing elicits from some, especially when it's age difference of 10 years or less. Whether the older party is male or female, if it's within legal limits and both consent (and neither are cheating), I simply can't care that much. If you're honestly bothered, ask for ID next time.

Mine will be.

Look for proof....?

'HI, I know it seems a little crazy, but ... I always like to check the drivers license of the person I'm about to sleep with..?

'Birth Certificate?'

None of those? Hmmm...(Thinks) 'How much time would you say you spent on TikTok? Have you ever voted? What memories of the London Olympics do you have?

I mean come on....

OP You've done nothing wrong, and that guy will remember you forever...in a good way...
😀

Oh I wouldn’t worry. To me at 28 you’re practically a baby yourself at that age. Just have some fun!

I'll ask President Macron.

Why exactly??

What do you ask for? He probably doesn't have a driving license. GCSE certificates 😅 as if we go round asking potential partners for ID.

Exactly.
It’s just double standards, apparently it’s perfectly fine for men to have sex with young women, 20+ years younger than them.But shock horror, if a woman, has sexual relations, with a 18 year old man who’s 10 years younger😤

Well 18yo girls as they have been called on here have been called vulnerable and dont know their own mind and are being controlled by older men and there are red flags galore,

But if you thought he was 21 and it now bothers you now you know didnt you ask his age in the first place?

He could have been 17, so maybe check first just like men would be expected to do, if a man slept with a woman and then used the excuse i thought she was older he would be ripped apart, 18 year old men and women are either adults and be treated as such or not

Look at us awake at 4 am in the morning 😂

@PollyBell Do me a favour🙄 Men have been having sexual relations with very young ‘women’ for centuries, so no, men haven’t been ripped apart, for sleeping with much younger women.
some perspective, this thread is about 28 year old women, feeling awful, for having a sexual encounter with an 18 year old man.Op assumed he was older, mortified, but she hasn’t actually done anything wrong.

😂

Exactly.
The poster saying 21 & 28 wouldn’t sit well with her .
What’s wrong with that age gap anyway 🙄..

It’s true. It’s all around us , men with much , much younger women & that’s just the way it is 🤷🏻‍♀️ , other way round then & it’s 😱..

18 is an adult, so don't worry, you aren't going to get in trouble.

@Missj25 Yes, completely agree.

Whatever. To avoid these situations in future, don't have sex with someone a few hours after meeting them.

🤔I think that’s somewhat different…

21 is too young for a 28 year old IMO.

Did you actually ask him his age? You say you assumed he was 21.

It's MN it's one of the cardinal rules to get your knickers in a twist about age differences.

OP made what she now feels was a mistake - I don't get the 'grim'/'ick' comments (or feel they are meant to be particularly kind). But then when I was 17 I had a 27yo BF and everything was fine and he was respectful and nice and I was definitely not exploited in any way and I look back fondly.

BestF dated a 30yo at 19. They have been happily married for 35+ years

This thread 🙄🙄🤣🤣
Next time check cracks me up...how on earth? Do you routinely ask for ID before a ONS? He obviously appeared old enough clearly...
I am old now but when I was young there were episodes of maybe less wise hook ups...cant say I ever thought to ask for proof of age 🤣