Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

[Lockingthegins]

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

And these are the same men who tried it on with you in nightclubs where you went when you were underage?

Not gonna lie, I can't keep up.

You didnt mention that you work with sex offenders in your original post, and frankly your posts are sound apologetic. That the men who are in prison are there because they took the word of the bar staff and door staff so it isnt really their fault.......

No of course not.

I know loads of sex offenders because I work with them.

I also had sex underage (completely unrelated to the men I worked with) both with men knowing I was underage and not knowing.

My advice (especially for men) is to always check someone’s age.

I feel like this is derailing the thread but I think OP was lucky that the guy was not under age.

Monica?

17 in NY, and as Monica said, "This makes me a felon in 48 states!" (As it's mostly 18 in the US.)

Don't understand the difference between 19 in a few months or 18. Why would 19 be better? They look & act the same way if they are 18 or 19. You chose to shaggy younger and that is what you got.

He is legal and not just by a margin or that would really be gross, he is within you chosen age range. Just move on and don't worry about it

@Eyeshadow your posts were incredibly disingenuous as, as you know, you implied by the wording of your posts (and omission of your job) that you knew "loads" of men who'd been convicted due to your experiences as a teen.

🤣 When online dating, I had a uni student come on to me. It was a few years ago, when I was around 45. I told him he was too young for me, and he goes "All right, but you're missing out on a healthy 20-year-old college student" which did amuse me. I wouldn't be swayed when I realised I would have to see his ID, just in case he was even younger than he said!

And I still don't believe there are "loads" of men who, due to being in a similar situation to the Op and encountering underage girls, have ended up in prison.

Not a chance.

Maybe "loads" of criminals convicted of sex crimes who claim that is what happened to poor, innocent them, but you'd hope an experienced prison officer would know the difference...

Have you been watching Young Sheldon? It’s a plot line in Season Five.

seriously?

Were you grooming him for years? Were you specifically after a man who is under 21yo? Were you pushing him for sex? If not, then oh well. Shit happens, next time ask their age before a hook up. I doubt he has been scared for life if he was a willing participant. Propably just haply to get laid.

She said she works in the prison service and has met them through her professional role

I don't think its a big deal OP and I don't understand why people get so bothered about age gaps, whichever way it goes. What really annoys me is the constant assumption young women are too stupid to know their own minds and make their own decisions. The laws are there to protect vulnerable teens from predators. Most women are not vulnerable and are well able to manage themselves, yet we constantly undermine them.

Only after I and others pointed out that her story didnt line up. Then she claimed to work with sex offenders. Originally she implied that she knew "loads" of men who had been sent down through her own sex life as an underage teen.

18 is OK. He's an adult.

But this trope of teenage boys (not adults) wanting an older woman isn't always true. Rod Stewart was seduced by a much older woman when he was 16, and the resulting song - Maggie May - makes it clear that this was not a positive experience.

It would still have been legal 🤷‍♀️

I doubt he's scarred for life but it is weird for 28 year olds to sleep with teenagers. Even if he was 19 it would still be weird. He's of the age of consent so you aren't in legal difficulty, but don't teens seem very young to you? When I was 28, sex with a 19 (or actually 18) year old would have felt predatory and deeply unappealing.

But eighteen and a half isn’t really very far off "about 21", is it?

Well, here's a big ick for you. I married my DH when he was 21 and I was 31.

Honestly, some of you are just ridiculously prudish.

I mean it would be weird to pick up a teenage boy dressed in his uniform at say Tescos. Or outside a school.

but a young man dressed up at your usual town nightclub (assuming it’s not student night but even then they are all legal) wouldn’t strike me as someone I needed to demand prove of age from.

Georgie was 17 though which i think was under the age of consent for Texas. But they got married etc

One of my sons was 'picked up' in a club at 18yo. I think he rounded up and she rounded down, but next morning she had an attack of the guilts and admitted she was 40 and married with children.

I can assure you it is not a lifelong happy memory for him!

I was extremely unimpressed with both of them but especially her. He'd been in school uniform a few hours earlier!

I’m a mum of an 18 yr old, I would just think , hey ho , off you go. Please don’t worry about it

Maybe so but the op didn't know he was only eighteen, thought he was older. There's no need to make her feel worse than she already does. She isn't a child molester and isn't going to do it again.