Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

[Lockingthegins]

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

Who said romance is dead…

Indeed. What a stupid comment.

Yes but if it was consensual then it's legal.
My comment was in response to someone who said "be careful he could have been 17".
17 or 18 wouldn't make any difference in the eyes of the law (unless she was he teacher/boss or similar).

Ew. Just move on and choose men who look mid 20s at least for casual fucking to avoid future teenage shags.

Surprised you didn't guess by how crap he was tbh.

It’s no biggie - he is above the age of consent and you were presumably both pretty keen. It’s rubbish that you can always tell the age. My two boys looked at least mid twenties by 18. Both played rugby and were big and strong with decent facial hair since year 9. Add in the fact that they were quite adult in their manners and were very articulate and confident - the overall effect was that they were years older. One got together at 19 with a woman who was 28 and while both were initially embarrassed the relationship lasted quite a while and was happy enough. He felt he couldn’t date his peers as they looked too young plus he was a bit boring and sensible and liked a nice walk and a farm shop lunch rather than nights out. They suited each other pretty well. Prior to this he endlessly attracted women in their late twenties and mid thirties who mostly were horrified when they found his age.

I married a 28 year old when I was 19. We had been together two years. I don't remember anyone having an issue. It didn't last (obviously!) but no one including my family were disgusted by it so why would it be so different if the roles were reversed here?

OP don't beat yourself up 😃

He will be buzzing to tell him mates. I’d be so beyond embarrassed.

Could sleep with someone in year 11 at school if they were 16 and there would be nothing illegal about it, as long as the adult wasn’t in a position of trust/authority

Illegal and acceptable are two different things.

You'll find millions of abusers and exoloiters use the not Illegal defence.

Men do it all the time, have sexual relations, with ‘Women’ who are 20+ years younger than them, the actual post, is about a 28 year old woman, having a one night stand with someone she thought was older than 18, who happened to be almost 19!
This thread, is ridiculous, if it was about a 28 year old man and an 18 year old woman, there wouldn’t be this reaction.I do wonder, how many men, are commenting here!

In the world of Mumsnet its against the law to date/sleep with/ marry anyone who is 6 months older or younger than yourself
🤣🤣🥰

If the guy were just a year younger it would be a very different story. A lot of man have ended up in prison because the girl looked older and lied about her age.

@Zov yes many people are immature til 25 but many are not, and it's obviously deemed that the majority reach adult maturity at 18 otherwise that would not be the acceptable age of adulthood. There are many people in their 20s, 30s 40s and beyond who are emotionally immature, people who don't leave bad relationships because of insecurity, people who are addicted to gambling, substances, gaming etc. Many many adults are not of adult maturity and God knows we'd all be better off if some couldn't vote, but we can't have a society that doesn't allow adults make decisions, that is literally the opposite of a liberal society.

I can only speak subjectively but at 18 / 19 I was 100% in control of my decisions and was not easily swayed. I found men (and often women) my age incredibly immature and preferred older company. I had a relationship with a 26 yr old man when i was 18 but ended it because he was emotionally needy, i was very much the stronger person in the relationship.

What I don't like is the idea that young women are too stupid to take responsibility for their actions but young men are expected to do so. It's a double standard and a sexist one. It demeans women. It's a new narrative that is different from a few years ago when it was generally accepted that women mature faster than men.

The Op doesn't though ,it was a one night stand and she's finding g the age gap icky anyway.

But ,he wasent ,and even a year younger he would be over the age of consent ,nobodies going to prison for consensual sex

28 is nearly 30, it is 'around 30', it is certainly not 18 that's for sure - just saddo thing to do, whether man or woman

Why would you assume hes a sixth former ?
He's 19 in April for a start
And not everyone goes to sixth form.

Its not around 30 its two years off 30 .

I’m your age but I always prefer older men. I’m not attracted to younger ones but will acknowledge there are many handsome ones.

I wouldn’t sweat. I dated men in their late twenties at 18 and it had no ill lasting effects.

What’s done is done. I wouldn’t feel bad if he was just as keen to participate as you were. Hope you both had a great night.

Why?
He still would have been over the age of consent.

Exactly.
He could have a full time job.
He could even be working in the pub/club I assume the OP met him in.

Totally nothing wrong here. He is an adult, as are you. If you both consented, there’s nothing wrong, the age doesn’t matter. I was 33-ish when I slept with a 22 year old. He thought I was about 25 and I didn’t correct him, I was not looking for a relationship and neither was he. We had fun and that was it. Don’t worry about it!

All these people saying OP should have asked his age. If he wanted to have sex with her he would probably have lied anyway.🙄

I was respondinng to the comment about 17 year olds being over the age of consent and I wasn't being literal, it was a sarcastic remark highlighting the fact that is the age of sixth formers. You have to be in education of some kind until 18 so at 17 it will be college for kids of some kind even with a customer service course or some such thing, the point is - gross, a child!

Yes, in the OP's case he could be in the sixth form.

28 is close/around 30 it is late 20s and way too old for an 18 year old lad!