Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

[Lockingthegins]

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

Clearly, she was in the wrong, (the 40 year old WOMAN) not the teenager she met and lied to about her age.

The thought of finding an 18 year old attractive enough to want to shag him 🤮🤮🤮 even if you did think he was a positively ancient 21(!!!) instead

I'd feel awful too

Many females (and males) are vulnerable and not able to make rational decisions when they're under 21. It's ludicrous to suggest otherwise, and that as soon as someone hits 18, they're a fully-fledged grown adult with a whole world of wisdom and knowledge. (Like some people come out with)

Yet they are deemed old enough to make financial decisions such as take out loans and credit cards, take part in jury service ,have gender realignment , get married, have tattoos, acess birth records take part in medical trials go to war etc.These things have an impact on someone's life rather than a ONS with someone older that was a mutual agreement between the two of them.

My ex announced he shagged his mates mum at that age and he was delighted with his accomplishment. No psychological trauma whatsoever 😝

@x2boyswe’ve mostly all shagged someone at some point that gives us the creeps or the ick or existential dread to look back on. I think you’re taking all this a bit far. And there’s nothing to indicate the adult that participated suffered the slightest bit of adversity from his “ordeal”. It was a shag, it was fun, doesn’t have to be made out to be the crime of the century even if he does look back and think maybe it was a bad decision. No harm done IMO

If you slept together when you were 18 and he was 32 that was definitely ick.

WTF is wrong with you? You found what you thought to be a 21yo guy attractive? Were you completely affected by alcohol? If so, maybe don’t drink in future?

But still technically not an adult.

???
I' know! ,they are both adults and its a one night stand i.think you are mistaking me for another poster
I have a son the same age ,whilst I wouldn't be overjoyed at him dating someone ten years older than him ,its still non of my business, plus the Op isn't dating him.

Oh dear, let’s just blame the woman shall we🙄
My point was, they are both adults and they both lied

But presumably the mums on here wouldn’t be happy with a 28 year old man wanting to date their 18 year old daughter? As long as it’s a ONS it’s fine?

Umm, not my thing as I tend to like older men (Mr Monkey is 9 years older than me) but what exactly is wrong with a 28 year old finding a 21 year old attractive? They are both adults in their 20s. Do the same (mad) rules apply to a 30 year old and a 23 year old?

Some people on here are so strange about sex.

Whats wrong with a 28 year old and 21 year old?

I was answering the previous posters’ comment about the situation in reverse. Which is why l qualified the statement - ‘if they were both adults and it was consensual’.

But presumably the mums on here wouldn’t be happy with a 28 year old man wanting to date their 18 year old daughter? As long as it’s a ONS it’s fine?

Pretty much, For one thing I didn't tell my mum who I was shagging when I was a young adult decades ago.None of her buisness.

@x2boyssorry you quoted @Zov, whom is who I was replying to, my mistake 😄

Well it depends on the man doesn’t it? They don’t all look and age in exactly the same way

Why? I honestly don't see the big deal. He seemed to have enjoyed it, everything was consensual, so what's the issue?

Oh give over. 🙄 I'm blaming the WOMAN here because she is the one who was 40! The lad was 18. Sometimes women are in the wrong you know!

She was lying about her age, (said she was a few years younger,) and shagging a lad young enough to be her son. A lad of 18! The poster I quoted tried to blame them both, (as she said she was younger and he said he was older,) but the 40 year old WOMAN is the one who should have been more intelligent and mature, and not gone with someone who was young enough to be her son. He said he was 21, but was actually 18 or something.

He was 18, did he look 35? NO, he would have looked 'around 20' or younger!

Even if she thought he was 21, why the hell was she shagging a 21 year old anyway, when she was 40?

.

I agree. When I was 27, I did a course at University for a year, and was surrounded by people in their late teens. One boy in particular took a fancy to me. He was 19 and I (gently!) turned him down flat. Even if I'd been tempted, I wouldn't have slept with him, but I wasn't tempted. There is nothing about a teenager that was attractive to me.

This. ^ I find it inexplicable that anyione over 27-28 wants to be with a teenager.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. In the real world anyway. It is only amongst a certain cohort of MNers where all 21 year old men are apparently indistinguishable from Jimmy Krankie and thus horribly unattractive. It is very strange.

Two consenting adults going at it with mutual consent and a minor error of age uncovered after the event. No big deal here. I'd say he's a lucky bugger and I hope it was good for our OP too.

Yes but I meant legally.....

Well if it was a woman and she was happy about the encounter then I'd say just politely decline if they want to see you again. So it's the same if it was a bloke.

The person is an adult. They looked a bit older. You had a consensual ONS. Nobody died. These things happen.

But maybe do actually ask people's age if you're attracted to people who could be a fair bit younger than you. As obviously you didn't set out to sleep with a teenager.