Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

[Lockingthegins]

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

Bonnie Blue is making a v.good living from this however other careers are available

He’s an adult, so are you. You don’t groom or coerce him. It was all consensual. I’d feel icked out too but it’s also a bit funny.

My son is 19 on Boxing day hes had.a full beard since he was 16 he looks like hes in his mid 20,s so not necessarily would the Op have known.

At least he isn't 15, that would be an issue!
Don't worry about it. There's really no need to feel any shame. Age gaps are an issue when people use their advanced age as a way to manipulate and hold power. It certainly does sound like that happened here.

Two Adults In Having-Fully-Consensual-Sex-And-Enjoyjng-It Shocka!!!!

Seriously outside of the usual internet pearl-clutchers nobody will care, other than to maybe have a bit of a giggle.

Yes, I agree but it isn't just that it's like outlook, cultural references, music interests etc. someone who is nearly 30 is not going to be unaware of those differences. I work with all ages and people in their late 20's or even mid 20's do not come across like 18 year olds!

This is about the third thread I've posted on this week on the age difference issue.

When did everyone start to get so outraged, horrified and ashamed about a difference of age, any difference at all, between legal, consenting, non-groomed sexual partners?

Youth is sexually attractive, to both sexes. It signals physical vitality and fertility. Being older would normally provide wealth and experience. There is nothing unnatural or disgusting about it.

People these days are ridiculous about age gaps. OP-hes 2 years over the age of consent just move past it you've done nothing wrong. Also whats his mum got to do with it- very weird.

This is a very definite and incorrect statement.

I work in a college.

Some 16/17/18 and even 19 year old look like boys still.

Others very much do not. There is a switch where you look at Felix or Tom or Jake and you realise he has switched to "man". If you see them every day it is not as noticeable. But if you met them for the first time, a whole bunch of 18 year old I work with would feasibly be indistinguishable from 19/20/21 year olds. Especially given the OPs location.

Yes I agree.The infantilasation of young adults, usually by parents who don't want to let them go, is ridiculous.

In RL people arent anywhere near as bothered. On MN there is so much outrage abour it, in particular women under 21. Most threads I have seen on here would never refer to a female of 18 as an adult, there are infantilised. Always different for men.

It almost always depends on the people involved. Someone mentioned 21 and 28 not being ok, this seems like a really normal age gap. Personally I found men under 25 really immature from about the age of 17/18. I certainly didnt find them attractive either. 28 was on the younger end of those I dated.

I also went out with older men from age 15, looking back this wasnt ok of course. Men shouldn't be dating girls who are at school, 6th form really either but it was pretty common n the 90s.

As the mother of an 18 year old, you are fine!

If you’re 28, what’s the youngest you can sleep with that isn’t ick?

If you’re 18, what’s the oldest you can sleep with that isn’t ick?

Yep it's always different for women on MN
There would be lots of suggestions of coercion, and grooming etc.

Don't worry about it OP. At 18 he is a man and able to vote, drink, marry and join the army. As long as you were both consenting adults and you aren't a position of authority over him (tutor, line manager) it's all good.

Chalk it up to experience and move on.

What on earth is going on?!

OP got plastered, had sex with an equally plastered consenting adult who sounds like he’s had a an absolute ball (pun intended).

What’s his mum got to do with anything??

You’re not having a relationship with him and even if you were, is there any coercion involved?

Don’t feel shamed.

ONS are ace when they go well and it sounds like this one did until you found out he was 18. 18 year old blokes love “older women”.

If one of my sons slept with someone 10 years older than them on a ONS, apart from the fact I really wouldn’t need to know about it, my only concern would be that he was respectful, made sure she was into things before they were done, didn’t spin her some bullshit about calling her and maybe said thank you before he left.

When are you seeing him next?

Honestly half of the rugby first team at my high school could have passed for 30 never mind 21!

People get so caught up on age, when as long as it legal it really matters so little! A good friend of mine, at the time aged 32 resisted for ages a man she really liked who was 21 at the time, purely down to his age. 10 years later they have one of the happiest marriages I know and a lovely 4 year old daughter.

Sex is normal, sex is good, not everybody does it, but everybody should. Enjoy OP, you’ve done nothing wrong here.

She now wants to make a move into being a Reform politician. If she tries to sleep her way through a Reform supporters' meeting she will kill half of their aged electorate.

Yuck. I have an 18yr old DS, him and his friends all look like boys. There’s no way you’d be thinking any of them are over 21.

But fantastic content. Like Miss Onatopp in GoldenEye.

I was in this exact scenario years ago! I was 28, he actually told me he was "early 20s" but in the cold light of day (ie a bit more sober the next morning) I asked him again as he looked YOUNG and yep 18! Oh and I found out he didn't live alone but with his dad, how did you find out i hear you ask....when his dad knocked the door in the morning to offer us a cuppa!!!!!!! And no we had not been quiet i was mortified lmao
Anyway walk of shame home on the phone to my mate and we have laughed about it ever since and I took it as a compliment and an ego boost I could pull someone 10 yrs younger! (I was just out of a VERY bad relationship)
It's legal, you both had fun and it was consensual so you've done nothing wrong just enjoy the memory of the fun and don't focus on the age

Not all 18 year old boys look the same
Mine is 19 on Boxing day hes had a full beard since he was 16
He could easily pass for 25 ,his friends not so much.

Did you have safe sex? That's the only thing I would be panicking about, really.
If you met him out clubbing or night out, you have to take them on trust. He probably looks older than 18. You probably look younger than 28. He's of age, has capacity to make his own decisions (and wasn't so drunk he couldn't perform, which would have raised questions about capacity to consent). As are you. So we have two consenting adults.
He's grinning like a Cheshire cat because he had good sex with you rather than perhaps inexperienced sex with peers etc.
Stop panicking and enjoy your breakfast.