Not to have known his true age before sleeping together?

[Lockingthegins]

He’s bloody 18! Not 19 until April

Casual conversation and flirting lead to hotel room and sex.

Really mortified to discover he is actually 18. No, he didn’t actually tell me. I assumed he was about 21. I am 28.

I feel so, so awful. Really panicked when I found out the morning after. He doesn’t seem bothered and thinks it’s all fine. Grinning like a Cheshire ca

Good lord, I haven’t scarred him for life, have I? Please someone assure me I’m not sick in the head

I would be furious if I was his mum!

an 18 yo and a 21 yo look very different. It’s not hard to tell. when my eldest’s friends are here you can even tell who’s 6 months older. they’re still growing kids physically and mentally tho not legally which was what you were interested in. their manner is also clearly very young compared to a 28 year old, I don’t know how the flirting took off. I felt in a completely different chapter to a 21yo when I was 28 and wouldn’t have gone near. can’t think why you did 😳

Exactly this. ^

Why the assumption that an 18 year old girl can’t consent to sex ? If it’s consensual and theyre both adults what’s the problem ?

I mean he’s legally an adult and seemed to be a very willing participant so I wouldn’t dwell on it if I were you.

This also... ^

I always look for proof of age of every man I sleep with. ‘No documentation, no shag’ is a policy that might seem excessive but it works. I recommend it

Pearl clutchers🤣

I think it's a bit strange that you wanted to have sex with someone so young. He might think it's funny now, but when he's that age himself, he might look at it differently.

Ewwww

Who paid for the hotel?

Did you tell him your age beforehand? I’m watching Younger on Netflix, has a 40yo woman pretending to be 26 storyline. She hasn’t told her boyfriend her real age yet.

oh poor him, he’s going to be traumatised🙄

I’m not sure why you’d want to shag a 21 yr old, but if you do this kind of error goes with the territory.

If it helps you feel better I accidentally shagged an 18 year old, really great guy, I thought that he was at Uni but he was in 6th form, only realised when I deduced he was actually in my Dad’s class (my Dad is a teacher) I realised that he was barely legal to drink! I was 32

Many females (and males) are vulnerable and not able to make rational decisions when they're under 21. It's ludicrous to suggest otherwise, and that as soon as someone hits 18, they're a fully-fledged grown adult with a whole world of wisdom and knowledge. (Like some people come out with)

They are often academically bright, with a faster and sharper brain than say, over 45s, but they're still young, and know very little about most things. Most brains don't develop emotionally and mentally til they're over 25. Have you never seen an episode of The Chase? Most under 25s on there are terrible. They have such a lack of general knowledge. They're not thick, I'm not saying that, they just haven't ammassed a lot of knowledge at that point, only academic knowledge, and knowledge around their hobbies and interests, like gaming or music or sport or whatever...

From HIH. (National Institute of Health.)

The adult brain doesn't fully mature until the mid-to-late 20s, often cited around age 25, with the prefrontal cortex—responsible for judgment, planning, and complex decision-making—being the last area to finish developing. This process involves significant rewiring, pruning excess neural connections, and strengthening white matter, allowing for better integration between brain regions, a process that continues well into adulthood,

So anyone saying 'meh, it's perfectly OK for a 17-18 year old to be with someone of around 30, 'because they're both adults... or both 'legal' Just stop! They are at completely different stages in their life. Why on earth someone around 30 wants to be with someone 10-13 years younger just baffles me!

You mean the 'teenagers.' They are not men and women at 17-18.

I don't approve of the OP's behaviour at all, don't get me wrong, and I also think that if the genders were reversed the answers on here would be very different. However, I thought the AOC in the UK was 16, not 18?

The issue is that OP didn’t ask his age. (And also why on earth she’d want to sleep with someone that young in the first place). She might be 18 she might be 15…

Go and watch Harold and Maud- it’s a great film and will put things in context
What a fabulous film.
I fancy watching it again! Such fun.

Well at 19 I slept with a 27 year old man. Slightly narrower age gap, but it will be a happy memory until my dying day.

I did go on to marry him though…

At 18 I had a dalliance with a man in his late 20s. He was bloody gorgeous and I had a wonderful time. I haven’t thought about that in a while but it’s a fond memory. There’s a difference between predatory behaviour and young consenting adults having abit of fun.

When I was in college I saw 16 year olds that looked like 12 year olds and 16 year olds that looked like they were in their 20s
Not everyone's the same.

You must have been pissed. I don’t believe he didn’t look or act his age without your beer goggles on. Grim.

Grim.

At 28 I wouldn’t have looked at a 19 year old let alone slept with him.

Ick ick ick.

Well first of all hes 18 nearly 19 not 17 and Op is 28 not around 30 and secondly it sounds like a one night stand, not a relationship.

Wether you like it or not an 18 year old is legally an adult.