To be disappointed in partners Christmas presents ?

[lulu55xxx]

So this year we decided instead of just buying random stuff that we might not like to write a list with about £200 budget of things we wanted.
So I wrote my list and wrote down things I wanted for a while and he wrote his.
I bought everything on his list with a little extra present (a month ago )
He went for his Christmas shopping today and just rang me telling me he’s done but didn’t get anything off my list as a lot of the things weren’t in stock in town (tiny town centre ) hence me going further afield and ordering online.
So he said he “winged” it
Would you be disappointed?
Last year he winged it and I ended up with nivea gift sets (which I don’t use ) half price pjs from Primark and other random bits.
The nice perfume I asked for I never got because he said “ it’s out of stock everywhere “
I went in boots Boxing Day and it was there …
I don’t know it’s just pointless

He promised me a shopping spree after Xmas for my birthday the other day ,now he’s skint.

He sounds useless, how hard is it really to work out what you might like and buy it?

Yep. What a waste of money and energy.

Honestly, I would hold his presents back. Probably dump him too.

He’s a dick. Ur not important enough.

I would be honest and say he disappointed last year when he winged it hence the list. I would tell him to take everything backand get ordering on line tonight

Is he trying to trick you and he has bought your requests? I wouldn't tell anyone what I've bought even if they give me a list. It's wait and see until Christmas Day. Maybe that's what he's doing here.

At that point, I'd suggest stopping the gift exchange. You each just take X amount to spend on yourselves. Rather than shopping for him, shop for yourself! I'm not a great gift shopper, personally, but I'd feel so guilty if DH had a wish list and I didn't bother to use it, knowing that he was always generous and careful to buy me exactly what I wanted.

Stuff that for a game! Send him links to everything immediately and if he huffs or kicks up a fuss then 100% return all his gifts and give him socks!

Tell him that you hope he has kept the receipts, as he'll have a very long day tomorrow returning all the crap gift he "winged it" with.
In the mean time, tonight he can sit with you and his credit card, and order exactly what you told him you wanted via this really cool thing called THE INTERNET.

If he won't, I hope you kept the receipts/can return all the shit he wanted...

Sometimes it's just best to cut your losses and chuck them back into the pool...sorry.

🎁

Sounds like your Christmas present list is low on his priorities.
i agree with PPs get refunds on the stuff you have bought for him and treat yourself instead.

This

Don’t bother in future just buy what you want and he do same 🤷🏻‍♀️

And tell him to take all the crap back so you can use the refund money to buy what you want and asked for. Selfish bastard

We set a rough budget and I’d really rather not do a list but despite DH having the best intentions and really wanting to get it right he never quite seems to hit the mark with surprises. I try to be quite broad rather than specific as I like a little mystery at least, this year I’d like some new pyjamas so I’ve sent him 3 or 4 links to styles I like, each of which come in 5 or 6 designs. His choice from there. I did ask for a specific necklace because when I googled roughly what I was looking for (our DS’s initial) there were some horrors so I daren't let him lose with just ‘X’s initial on a necklace’. Those will take up roughly 75% of the budget and the rest is for him to choose something.

In return I’ve got him 1 thing he directly asked for, 1 thing I know he definitely wants and a few wildcards.

Get rid. If he can’t be bothered now he will never be.

This.

Honestly, he’s just not that into you. Take his stuff back. Buy yourself something you want with the money and get him bargain buys like lynx and jammies. See how he likes it. Then bin him. My husband told me he’s been listening all year to things Ive said I’d like in one way or another. Obviously I was not making any list or asking for things. He said my main gift is from something I was talking about in February!

So he’s got a default excuse to get out of spending the cash “Oh it was out of stock everywhere”. What an arsehole. Take everything you bought him, back and buy him a lynx set and tell him everything was out of stock everywhere

I am concerned I will be disappointed. My husband and I chose a present each at a market back in November and he bought a book that I said i liked the look of today in the supermarket. I bought him a few other things online but I don't think he has got me anything else, no parcels came addressed to him and I would know cos I am permanently at home unless he went out before or after work but I don't recall him leaving early or being home late. I know I seem materialistic but I try so hard to find things for him and I like surprises.

I would be disappointed in your shoes yes.
But I think making such an agreement with someone who is either reluctant to spend money on gifts or spend time shopping was a mistake.

In our house I am a big shopper who enjoys it and has the time to choose things (part-time worker). My DH works long hours, is not really into gifts or shopping in general. It is much easier for me to buy him stuff as I know what he needs/could do with an upgrade etc. For him its impossible as I nearly always buy what I want throughout the year so it is harder for him - and I am not that keen on surprises such as random jewelry etc.

I send a couple of basic ideas and ask him for some, but beyond that he will put some thought into getting a couple of other items and so will I. But neither is expecting big money to be spent wowing the other. Very few people are amazing gift buyers imo.

Next year just spend $50-100 on him and save the rest of the money to buy yourself what you want :)

There's nothing wrong with making a list or setting a budget, this way ppl get the stuff they like and want and its not a waste of someone's money. Theres nothing wrong with your way either. Both is fine if ppl are happy. Op isnt happy because DP hasnt stuck to the list hence she might be stuck with tat.

Well he’s got form and OP said in her post that he’s already told her that yet again he’s not been able to get anything(!) from her list and so she does know.

Also, not every partner knows what the other would like and it’s not a bad thing to be proactive and just tell them. As PP said, it’s nice to put random things you may have seen throughout the year which are too pricey for you to feel you can buy for yourself so a good way is to just have your partner buy it you for Xmas like an expensive box of chocs and you do the same for them - no guilt either then!

It’s not too late. Just tell him to return the gifts, make sure to return his and buy your own list. It’s not as if they’re surprises anyway. you literally may as well buy them yourself!

You're not the lady who went to London and was let down badly by your fella with hotel and meal out are you?

If you are, are you truly shocked by this behaviour? He's telling you what you're worth, sadly and disappointingly. Maybe lower expectations to rock bottom or, well, get rid! Sorry OP, brace yourself for more primark PJ's.

Argh... Men at Xmas! Just been chatting to a few guys at work today and they're all like 'I'm going to spend the weekend at 'enter local shopping centre' getting a few bits'. I bet you that's their partner's Xmas presents.

I just feel like many men don't plan ahead for Christmas (or other similar occasions) and just think they can make things happen last minute.

My ex... I told him very clearly what I would like, all very affordable yet lovely items I genuinely needed, feasible on next day devlivery even... He would ignore my list and get something drop shipped from China, not completely awful but cheap and tacky and not something I needed. All the bloody time! The guy lived with me for 10 years, he should have known that I would choose even my toothbrush and cofffee cup with great care.

I'm currently seeing someone... He asked me yesterday how I feel about doing Xmas presents!! But equally, I've known him to go to a birthday party or wedding on a Saturday night, and be asking me what I think would make a good present Saturday lunchtime!

My boss... Is supposed to buy birthday presents to people in his team, he obviously knows a year in advance when said birthday is... He panics and contacts everyone a couple of days before to ask for money and ideas, and buys something the day before the birthday.

Most men just aren't well trained in the art of preparing for occassions and gift giving.

So no advice as such, except that there will likely be many women on your position this holiday season, hope it's somewhat comforting...