Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

Someone will see you doing that and will report you or else will tell everyone that you are doing this. You will be very unpopular but maybe you don’t care.

Safeguarding is hugely important and you are being a selfish entitled prick!

This! Shocking really! But I guess the Op is special!!

@Dramatic

You’re a selfish knob.

Signed an adoptive parent.

Seriously? You think ALL parents will follow rules about not sharing on their SM. I doubt it. So many selfabsorbed sm obsessed people who don't care about not sharing. And you are the proof if it- school asks not to film and yet you do it. What kind of example are you setting for your child? That school rules are not important- if I want to do something I will do it. How utterly immature and selfish.

The fact that you hang onto these videos to look back on after your husband has watched them makes them all the more likely to get into the wrong hands. The fact of the matter is you just do not care.

So how do other schools just allow it then? Presumably people in schools where you are allowed to film are happy to film and show it around despite the fact there will still be vulnerable children there.

What is even the point of this? A covertly filmed video is surely going to be awful anyway.

At our school you put phones in a box at the entrance, you can’t even take them in (I just leave mine at home now). Your school might move to that if people see what you’re doing.

I’m a teacher and I go. Why doesn’t he ask for the hour or so off?

Schools know their children and which ones can't be filmed, which ones have parents who don't consent to their child being recorded. If everyone has consented and there aren't any children at risk in that performance then they let parents know they can film.

Op what are you doing exactly? Is there really nothing else for you to do then to end mumsnet today? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

Yes, as noted DH never gets to any of the school stuff, but the kids often do a 'special performance' for daddy at the home the night before/after they perform something at school. It is sweet and precious and much nicer than watching a recording would be, little alone a clip that had to be filmed surreptitiously and so looks like something from Rogue Traders.

Tell me how they would get in to the wrong hands? And not some daft scenario where my phone is stolen and the thief just so happens to cherry pick that particular video from thousands of photos and share it on SM

I'd approach this one by trying to work WITH the school to at least get some photograph time as a halfway-point.

Ask if there can be a little bit of time set aside after the play for parents to take photos of their own kids or parents to arrange to take photos of groups of kids who are friends in costume at least. No other kids in shot so those risks aren't there - but you get the photos for the memory without having the subterfuge and risking kids who shouldn't be in shot in shot.

That's the way one of my kids schools resolved this partially (we still had some obnoxious as fuck parental behaviour but that's the catchment we were in) in the past.

It's a shit example for kids that a rule exists for their safety but adults can choose to ignore it should they wish.

Nope 😂

Maybe other schools have parents who will follow posting restrictions set by the school.

At some schools parents show themselves to be untrustworthy and unable to follow filming / posting restrictions ...

To me this perfectly sums up why these rules are in place!!
YABU OP and also selfish.

If you were only showing your dh then I don’t see the issue. He could have been in the audience anyway. It’s people who put it all over social media that cause the safeguarding issues.

Generally I would say it’s unreasonable to secretly film kids when you’ve asked not to but I’m not really sure what the issue is in this case.

WHY do you think you are so SPECIAL
Entitled fool

You know that but nobody else does. Can you really not see that?

No I bloody would not. No-filming mandates are for good safeguarding reasons. It helps to protect children who are being looked after by local authorities, or who have been adopted, from being found by people who are not safe for them to have contact with. It also helps to protect families who have fled domestic abuse situations, or children who can't have contact with relatives who are a danger.

It doesn't matter how careful you are (or plan to be). Your 'secret' filming night not be as secret as you imagine. One person doing something that's against the rules massively increases the risk of other people doing the same. And you have no way of knowing where they might share their footage.

You get cover to go to a school performance?! I always think DH's school is the softest school in the world in terms of staff expectations, but no, this isn't an option.

They didn't though, parents were allowed to film every performance in the other school and this school has a blanket ban on every performance regardless.

Fair enough then... as you were!! 🤣🤣🤣