Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

Good to see you attempting some self reflection. No need to endlessly respond then, cheers.

Why are you waffling nonsense at me? Obviously you have no position as you are attemping the ad hominem logical fallacy rather than responding to my perfectly factual, absolutely fair position.

Off you trot love.

So yep, as stated previously, enjoy your videos with your husband. So glad for you both that you are intelligent and reasonable enough to ignore this demand.

As stated, so long as you are not sharing them, deleting them later, only saving snippets where your child is there, there is absolutely no argument, not a single one, that can be made against you doing this.

Keep doing your absolutely harmless thing OP. And Merry Christmas.

If you think naming a logical fallacy magically replaces an argument, that rather proves the point. You haven’t addressed a single substance of what I said, you’ve just asserted that your position is “perfectly factual” and then resorted to condescension. That’s not reasoning, it’s posturing.

Why are you waffling nonsense at me? You have said absolutely nothing as you have nothing to say. Off you trot love.

Why are you waffling nonsense at me? You have said absolutely nothing as you have nothing to say. Off you trot love.

😂

😅😂😆😃😆

She's just goading. People like that aren't worth engaging with.

That's a fair point. It's hard to engage with rambling incoherence anyway.

If that is the school rule, it is the rule. My worry is if others start doing it and th school get wind of it, they may refuse to do anything for parents to come and see going forward

We had to uproot our DC, sell our home and move away from our town because someone did the same as the op. They sent it to a relative, who showed their friend, who happened to be a relative of ours that wasn’t allowed to know where we were. It ruined our whole lives. We lost jobs and friends and our DC lost their whole world because one person thought the rules didn’t apply to them. The rule is there for a very good reason.

I so sorry that happened to you and your family. It’s inconceivable to me how some people care more about the taking of photos or videos than they do about the children affected by such behaviour.

Our school recently had an incident with the birth parents of a child in foster care turning up at our school. The child had to be moved again. This time to a foster family who lived hours away.

It also meant that this year our school did not have a nativity or Christmas assembly that was open to parents. Several other schools in our area have hinted that they might do the same next year.

How do they police whether or not it is shared on social media? I’d assume that’s almost impossible to do.

You would think people mature enough to have children are mature enough to post it on social media just by using common sense, sadly that is lacking these days

That's Switzerland. People don't need that much policing to do the right thing.

Incomprehensible idea to the British, I know.

Are people really this dim?

Some schools will allow photos/videos because they know the childrens backgrounds and are aware there is minimal risk.

Other schools have banned all photos/videos because they know the childrens backgrounds and are aware there is significant risk.

Therefore, if you're told no photos/videos ... Don't fucking do it!

(Third possibility - school previously allowed photos/videos but the self-centered, entitled parents shared on social media despite the warning and therefore increased the risk so photos/videos had to be banned. In which case blame the parents, not the schools)

I’ve never heard of this before but it d doesn’t sound like a sensible option if you have a serious medical condition. What about if your phone is lost or stolen or has a fault?

They @adviceneeded1990 don't police it. Why are parents needed to be policed in how they use social media. The school can issue guidance not to share on social media and there should be an element of trust not to do so and that photos are used for personal use. It's not a criminal offence for a parent to take a photo of their child for personal use. In fact this is a school policy, not law. The only possible criminal offence could be a breach of the data protection act.
If a parent has shared an image with ill intent then they should be excluded from all school performances/events.

@adviceneeded1990 like I said before- yesterday I took a photo in a cafe of my family. There was a young boy sat at a table behind one of my family members so he was unavoidably in the photo. What happens if I share that on my social media? Is that wrong too because there's a very small chance that he might be a vulnerable individual and there's a very small chance that someone with ill intent might somehow hack into my private social media account and see this photo? Should we stop taking any photos with other people in the background because people like you constantly live in a state of assuming the worst?
There is nothing wrong with a parent wanting to take and have a photo of their child for their own personal use. It's perfectly normal for a parent to want to keep a momento, preserve a moment in time.

@ubertomusic you're right. People don't need much policing in the part of Switzerland where I live. There is very little crime, I don't see any antisocial behaviour and everyone seems to be on the same page in creating a world that they actually want to live in.
I'm not sure what has happened to the UK to turn into what it has become. Perhaps the focus should not be on demonising parents who want to take photos of their kids (totally normal) and perhaps shifted to those individuals who have ill intent either deliberately sharing a photo on purpose with someone they shouldn't (as mentioned by a previous poster) or sharing on social media when asked not to do so. It sounds as if the consequences are not severe enough to be a deterrent. But that's a big problem in the UK in general, oh and you don't have any prison space........ah yes the reminder of how s**t it really is in the Uk

No it’s not ok. You need to be a role model for your child and show that rules apply to all. It’s entitled to think one can break rules because you have special circumstances.

You know there are so many events my children are in I wish I could record to show elderly relatives that may not see the children much and we are justly proud of so.e their performances in choirs, bands etc.

There seen As to be this absolute blanket ban of recording of taking pictures and though understanding of this I think we should ask have we reduced the ability of parents securing memories of their children for a small minority where there is a complex social picture ?

maybe we should have a system where parents are asked prior to the event of they wish no recording or photographing to take place as I bet in a lot of cases there would be no objection.

I know this will be against the grain of the thread but maybe we are missing out on the opportunities to have an archive of our children's moments because we are hypersensitive of the occasional social toxic relationship.

Maybe the blame on this thread should also be aimed at those toxic individuals wanting to trace their children against their families wishes?

Well put @mids2019 I totally agree.