Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

Why are you being so pedantic? You were told not to and that means everyone not just you. It also spoils the enjoyment of the show if every parent were allowed to record. You are totally selfish here.

We recently went to a school show where we were all told to put our phones away, absolutely no exceptions. At one point all the kids started pointing and yelling that a dad had his phone out. He was suitably mortified (as was his son) and honestly wish this would happen to you. The people around you must see you doing it (and honestly if I saw you I would say something). Safeguarding kids who can't have their photo taken should be taken seriously. Does your DH honestly get value from watching a crappily filmed video? Just follow the rules and stop thinking you are special and they dont apply to you

It tells me they don't trust me to not put it on social media (they wouldn't trust anyone) but considering that I know I'm not going to put it on SM then I feel like it's fair enough to do it.

You 'just show your husband', others, ',just share with so and so' and eventually the video ends up on social media or sent to someone who shouldn't know where the child is or gets irrationally angry and the other parent because they said the child should not be filmed and what they say goes. These requests aren't only because parents dont want this dc filmed, there are genuine safeguarding needs that keep some vulnerable and guardians safe. But you crack on because you feel that you are a special case who doesn't have to follow the rules.

No, no hesitation, I am not more important than the rule

yes YABU. That's a massively violation of the privacy of the children. You would never film random kids in the street, why do you think it's OK in that situation. if I found out I'd report you to the school. It's your husband's decision not to be there, and is he really going to sit and watch a crappy recording??

YABU

Very small but I just wouldn't risk following personal experience of a father finding the kids that had been removed. No one knows how he did it and he didn't physically harm them... mentally they were destroyed which in turn destroyed the adopted family. So yes very very little risk but hay they said the Titanic was unsinkable

I think the first paragraph shows why you shouldn't do it.
Other people see you, then do it themselves and aren't so careful.

Yeah, you're the only parent who can be trusted....when actually you're the only one not following the rules.

Honestly I'd rather have the memory I can look back on than worry about some ridiculously remote possibility that some random person might get hold of the video by hacking my phone.

DH is in the Army and has missed all but 3 or 4 assemblies, plays, concerts, musicals and the majority of Parents Evenings, open days etc for both our children. (Now 12 &14)

Never filmed. The rules are there for very good reason. Their Primary School had a security scare when they were in Preschool and Reception due to someone posting something "harmless".

VU.

I understand why you’d like to film it, however for a school to have a total ban on video taking means they’ve either been in hot water about it before, or they have a large number of children that don’t give consent for filming for whatever reason. Don’t be that parent, sorry.

Oh but OP is special and rules don’t apply to them.

What if the thief uses these images to put the faces of the children from the play onto pornographic images using AI. This would include your child.

Why are you arguing with everyone. Your attitude is seriously disturbing. The rule exists for a reason.

Yes. Its a small risk but with potentially enormous consequences. For someone else's children.

Could you not just... remember it?

Do you think that all parents should be able to film, or just you?

Yeah he does, the recording is about 2 minutes long just when my child is on the stage.

Then why are you asking us?

Unreasonable to film when you’ve been asked not to. But the school is being unreasonable to ask this. At my my school, and my DGC’s schools we ask that parents don’t share any photos/videos on social media and that’s always worked well.

And someone who isn’t as conscientious as you will see you secretly filming and think they can do the same and share. Or the parent of the protected child/ren could see you secretly filming and not know you and be worried about their dc being involved in future performances. Why does your dh’s need to see his dc performing trump the wants of the dc who want to be involved in the performance?

It’s really annoying when you can see all these parents in front of you filming. It’s so ignorant to completely ignore the school request.
Put your phone away and enjoy the show - kids want to see you watching, not glued to your phone.

Another post where the op asks for opinions and then argues when they are not what was expected/disagree with their view

No way. If this is the rule, you are not entitled to break it.

I suppose the simple answer is someone sees you doing it, then either does it themselves and they put it on social media or the person tells a teacher who then has to face a conversation with you where you either delete the footage or hold your ground and get banned from future events.

Teachers have enough on their plates.