Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

It doesn't really work well. As the mum of DC with an extremely violent birth family, I can tell you that sitting in the nativity with other parents filming, not being able to be sure where those videos will end up, ruins it completely.
If they were able to find us the best case scenario is that we'd have to move house and school. I don't even want to consider the worst case scenario.
There are two problems with the OP saying that they don't put it on social media, 1, The people around you don't know that and the worry is sickening 2, Seeing you filming makes other people more likely to film, who may well post online.
Please don't do it.

Yes I can, but no one knows I took the recording.

Sorry this wrong, you are very unreasonable. There is a possibility that there are children who need their identity and location protected. Sorry if your DH can’t arrange time off for one performance then he’s just going to have to miss out. Chances are he isn’t that interested.

Don’t be daft dear. You are simply determined to do what you want, sod the rules.

It’s the difference between my kids and others being able to take part at all. If the school allowed videos I would need to exclude them from the performance because their safety takes priority. But of course your right to film takes priority over everything else.

I don’t have the right to stop you doing anything you want to do, but in exercising your wish, you make the event impossible for other parents to protect their children while allowing them to participate.

The reason is so that they aren't shared around where they may be seen by others who are a risk to the DC. Our school thankfully has some common sense and the last few years have said "please make sure only your child is in any photos or videos and dont share them online".
The only reason they are banned is the risk of sharing them online, which OP isnt doing so there is no harm in her recording. Her DH is the only one watching and he will already be aware of which DC are at the school.

It depends on the cohort but also on the layout, size of school, etc. We have children with protection needs. But we are also a huge school and so it is a LOT of cameras, too much for the little ones to cope with and it makes their experience miserable to see a sea of phones rather than smiling faces. Some get totally overwhelmed.

My friend who is a Scout leader has now banned cameras at her Christmas show. No protection needs in her case but people were so busy filming they were not clapping or laughing / engaging with the songs and skits. She has also noticed this as a change over the years, parents not able to just be in the moment with their children.

Maybe at these other schools you quote the class is smaller, stage is bigger, parents still engage, no protection needs... it doesn't really matter though, does it? Your school has asked you not to do it and they will have reasons.

You have been told NO FILMING. Why do you think you are entitled to film in secret? What if EVERY parent “ secretly” filmed their child?

I think this whole "no photography and filming " is nonsense at school productions. The school should film it and then just sell copies to the parents, I'm not sure that I would illicitly film it though, someone would be sure to report you, probably put of spite .

You have no right. There are very valid safeguarding reasons these videos/photos are banned and you could put a child at risk by sharing, even with your DH. What if he watches it in a public space? Are they in uniform too?
The rule is there to protect all the children, including your own.

There was a poster on here last week whose child accidently uploaded a video to TikTok! Everyone has sent something to someone by mistake, phones get lost or hacked etc. it's just an unnecessary risk to take.

You obviously think you’re special and that rules are for other people and not you. I don’t know why you bothered posting.

Your phone gets backed up to the cloud and there's a hack. Something really funny happens at the nativity and you want to send it to a grandparent or aunt. Another parent sees you filming and asks you to share the video with them. Your phone breaks and you take it into the shop for a fix or data transfer....

Then the request would be don't put it in SM not don't film

‘Consent’. FFS.🤦‍♀️

Nobody can withhold consent to being photographed in public.

This is all a load of tosh.

The best reason for banning photography is that people don’t hold up cameras, phones or iPads and block others’ views. But that’s not dramatic enough as a reason on MN.

Do you really not have the capacity to think of reasons yourself? I doubt someone that needs to ask the question has watertight security. Your phone could be hacked. Presumably if you are keeping these videos for years they are being moved onto another device or the cloud. You could leave this somewhere or it could be hacked. You could accidentally leave your phone somewhere, as people do regularly. You could click on your phone to show someone else something in your gallery and accidentally show the video. You could give your phone to your child and they open it in the company of others or share it somewhere accidentally.

No it is not, its a safeguarding issue, for you know, kids who need to protect their wherabouts.
Or do they not count?

Schools aren't public, they are Private property

I am not sure why you bothered to post as you are obviously very entitled and pig headed and will do this anyway.. so yes you are very very unreasonable. HTH

Oh well you having the memory is definitely more important than the safeguarding of vulnerable children. You should have just said so. I mean it's you and your memories. The most important thing by far.

School isn't public.

It should be a safe place that children who have had disrupted lives get to do the same as other children without them or their parents/guardians having to worry.

So it’s more of a case of “I can break rules as long as no one finds out”?

There is a child in DD's class where it is very important that no images of her are ever to be shared, and it would be a huge safeguarding risk if certain people were to work out what school she goes to. Only myself and a few close friends of the mum the extent of why and at any events its a just a blanket statement at the beginning that no photos or videos are to be taken. We can then take individual photos of DC in their costumes at the end.

You say you'll only share with DH but it doesn't always work that and its impossible to to control once images have been shared without permission.

You are being very very selfish.

The chances of your phone being hacked into are actually not unreasonable.

Also, are you showing it to your DH, or are you sending it to him using something like WhatsApp? because in that case it's much less protected than if it's just on your phone (which you do realise isn't actually saved on your phone, it's on the cloud?).

This! You are being incredibly unreasonable. Some parents won’t want you having images of their children!

Then nothing would happen providing they aren't shared online.
Same as a parent recording their DC on the way home or at the park won't be an issue with DC in the background if they don't share it online.