Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

From your replies to people's comments it doesn't seem like you're going to change your behaviour OP, so I wonder why you bother asking, but I agree with the majority that it's 100% not ok to do this. As an alternative you could do a full dress rehearsal at home (with a makeshift backdrop?) with your DC and film that - probably better quality, safer for all, nice quality time together and will help your DC prepare for the event. You could share that to your hearts desire!

That's how it should be and you are definitely putting yourself in the wrong. Could you not ask for a photo opportunity after the event?

You are being totally unreasonable and your entitled behaviour is disgusting. The rules are there for good reason.

It's not okay. The location of some children is confidential for reasons of safety. You are being extremely unreasonable.

It’s not just about social media, it’s huge safeguarding issue. You may have children in the school who are really vulnerable and you are putting your needs above their safety and wellbeing. You are being completely selfish and massively unreasonable and it’s quite astounding that you seem to be arguing that you aren’t in the wrong.

@musicinme Christ alive back with the melodrama. Every time I feel remotely homesick you have done a fantastic job of reminding me I never want to come back. No i don't think anyone child at risk needs to feel at risk at me taking a photo of my son to share with his grandparents who don't even have social media.
Here's an example, today I went to a coffee shop with my dad. I took a selfie with him and my son. Then I shared it with my family abroad via WhatsApp. There was a child in the background. Should I not have done that in the remote possibility that my family overseas inexplicably decide to share it on social media (that they don't have) or someone steals their phone and decides to share that photo- i mean come on! You cannot expect people to live in a state of what if the worst happens, assuming everyone has ill intent. I choose to not live my life like that. If you are fostering children you will have a unique perspective and clearly where you are living and what you are doing has exposed you to lots of horrible things but it's not the majority of what people experience and it's not something I recognise where I live at all.

OP you KNOW you're in the wrong here, you're just asking to find others who have the same mindset as you so you can justify yourself doing it. Clearly the school have very valid reasons to ask that you don't film or photograph the kids performance. You're being a sly bitch doing it regardless of the schools rules. For all you know one of those kids in those performances could be very heavily safeguarded with good reason and here you come violating their privacy. I hope you get caught out. If I saw you doing it I'd definitely grass you up

And did you hold your phone up so the people behind d couldn’t see their own children properly?

She doesn't care. Attitudes like hers are contemptible.

I apologise for the melodrama and my unique perspective. However, what is your melodrama is my reality, every day.

In your example the children I have cared for would not be in their identifying school uniform and not be in a local coffee shop either. However, your point is taken.

I am so glad you live in a world free of any safeguarding issues where such things never have to be considered. I wish you and your family a Happy Christmas.

ps you did not answer my question about where such vulnerable child should be in order to protect them from harm?

"Hi I'm lucky and privileged. A shout out to all of you to who might try and burst that bubble and make me think about anyone else but me for a second. How very dare you, you dreadful people".

Our school allows us to film, but no social media. I watch them or send them to my husband if he's not there... but I'm not disillusioned thinking that anyone else really gives a toss.... so I don't doubt that the OP just keeps them for their own memories

@RedToothBrush no that's not what this is. It's about not demonising parents who want to enjoy watching their kids perform in their school concert just because you think there's a small chance that someone might be in the audience with ill intentions. Most schools will let you film/take photos as long as they are not shared on social media and that is a good compromise. I couldn't get worked up about someone discreetly filming to share the video for personal use. How about you keep your melodrama to yourself and let people enjoy their lives. If we spent all our time worrying about other people's problems and the what ifs, and assuming the worst we'd all be as miserable and cynical as you.

@musicinme said vulnerable child can still be in school and parents can still film/take photos of their kids and not share those images on social media. The end.

It doesn't work like that unfortunately. I only wish it did. But I have failed completely at finding the correct words to explain why. You win.

Are you OK?

And hard work.

Oh my goodness, do I? I will be seriously thinking about this. I am very sorry but glad, at least, that I could make you laugh

@Orwellwasright2020 Why are you so adversarial? It’s not because your position is strong, because it obviously isn't if you can’t defend it without aggression.
Such hostility suggests an inability to engage thoughtfully with what’s being said, and it comes across as a lack of intellectual depth