Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

But the school knows who the vulnerable children are so if they request no filming then so be it. Just how hard is it to follow this request?

@twoshedsjackson again I'm sure there are instances where it does happen but it's rare. I don't want to live in a world in which we are assuming the worst every single time - no photos incase there's a parent with ill intent in the audience, no doing x, y, z because something bad will happen....

Bangs head against a brick wall.

Just follow the rules folks!

The world won't end because you didn't get a photo of your child's nativity.

I'm a primary school teacher so I am giving you a safeguarding prospective.
Schools have the no photography/filming rules for a reason- to protect vulnerable children (and potentially adults). I have taught children who have moved away from a violent parent, been placed in secure foster care, been adopted away from an unsafe birth family. School staff (or other parents) may have escaped domestic violence. Photographing and filming puts vulnerable people at risk. Please, for the sake of everyone present, don't do it.

Some people (including me) don’t want their kids filmed.. period

Your entitlement is staggering.

So you've now been told by majority of posters on here that u are bang out of order for doing it but you're continuing trying to justify why you do it. Either this is rage bait to get a rise out of people in which case well done I hope you feel really good and superior about yourself. Or you really are that stupid. Either way neither casts you in the best light, and the fact that multiple people have had to explain to you why you shouldn't film the school play or take pictures you've decided you don't care. But as long as your husband gets to see everything's alright. 🤦‍♀️

What are you teaching your children by breaking the school rules?

It's not ok under ANY circumstances. The rule is there for safeguarding reasons, and you don't get to decide that it doesn't apply to you, period.

I can understand and sympathise but yabu.
There are ways that schools could take videos and photos and share them to somewhere that is encrypted and password protected. I know this because they did it with my daughters nativity during Covid when there couldn’t be an audience.
So while I think the school are being a bit lazy and excessive in their approach to this, it’s still unreasonable to secretly film. Don’t you think that everyone there will have their own reasons why they wish they could film it? What makes your reason any more important? And everyone would say oh I’m only showing it to X, but there will be some who will plan to share it and for that reason it has to be a blanket no.

Yes OP. You are being very unreasonable, naive and quite frankly stupid. These rules exist for a REASON. Children who are fleeing domestic violence. Children in foster care or adopted. Your husband chooses to work away. Him missing things is on you as a family. Stop being so selfish.

I've not rtft but I can imagine. Yes, I have covertly filmed & would again.
I'm well aware of safeguarding, however, taking the photos/videos isn't the issue, sharing them is.
Our school said they'd take & share photos. They often didn't. They once took individual photographs of the entire class except my child. They once took a whole year group photo (2 form entry) and the only child not included was mine.
The school shared the photos to Class Dojo, there's the facility to download them from there so what's the difference (apart from my child not being in the ones they shared).
This is mumsnet & most people will tell you that yabu, but it's not the real world.

You keep repeating the same thing - why do other schools allow it. There are other children at other schools. There are obviously specific children at your specific school that warrant such a strict policy, it's unfathomable to me that you 1. can't see that and 2. think it's okay to do as you please, that your want to have a video or your child is more important than children's safety, despite being told over and over again why. You know you're not going to share it, the family/carers of that child/children don't, nor do the school. As others have said, the bigger problem is other people seeing you filming and thinking "Well if they're doing it, we will too" and them not being cautious about sharing it because - because of you - the impression is that it's okay to flout the rules. I don't know why I'm wasting my time because you are clearly so entitled and selfish that you are going to continue do what you want no matter what anyone says.

I know some people are jumping straight to the theory that the school have banned it solely because of a child being at risk but that isn’t always the case. I’ve worked in schools where they ban it because 1 parent objects to filming or sometimes a parent has forgotten to sign the consent form. The school then take a blanket approach.

While in theory a child could be tracked down, it’s not the easiest option . The person doing the tracking would need to find a parent from the school and that parent having filmed it. Not to mention that the person would need to find the area the child is in first. It’s a lot of things that would have to fall into place to work in their favour.

My daughter’s school allows filming but no social media- which I think is fair. I don’t see an issue with someone sharing the file with their partner or grandparent, with strict instructions not to share further.

Oh FFS!

You know you won't share them, but the school doesn't.

Give your head a wobble.

Some people don't want that for their kids.
It's just wrong
If its so important to your husband then let him take the day off 🙄

Yes. Weirdo

I’m utterly appalled by some of the posters in this thread. I understand unless you’ve been in the position of raising or supporting a vulnerable or at risk child then you won’t necessarily understand or appreciate the risks. However there is no excuse when other posters have explicitly stated examples of why this matters that you still believe parents are being over the top and over cynical about other parents.
this is highly unlikely it’s about anyone sitting in the audience with a sinister motive it’s about what happens to that recording and yes you may only share it with the absent parent but I guarantee there will be someone who shares it more widely. As others have said though there are children who have had their lives uprooted and see you doing this and are genuinely frightened.
it’s utterly abhorrent that even after having this spelled out to you that you still think it’s ok and it doesn’t matter.
That is what is wrong with today’s world, people like you! The entitlement, the lack of concern or respect for others. You are the bigger problem not the world around you.

I have never covertly recorded anything. I don’t think there’s a problem like some of these other people are saying. If it was a huge problem all schools would have a blanket ban. Instead schools are allowed to choose how they manage the threat. A blanket ban sounds lazy and no I don’t follow every rule i question and challenge them. Some I ignore. Some i do not. I do not mess about with other people’s children though. People post their kids in school uniform
all over the internet. But that’s their (stupid) choice. I’m not taking their choice. But you say only your husband sees it so 🤷🏾‍♀️

But they don’t release the video to just one person they could release it to the world and it gets back to the one person who shouldn’t see it.

You could lose your phone and to be helpful if someone finds it they could release the video as a way to find the owner.

Think of the video as a weapon. In the wrong hands it could be lethal

Have a friend who “disappeared” into the system because of DA and a threat to her children.

Couldn’t imagine that people would do something so selfish

Couldn’t have put it better.

Our school is the same if anyone is seen with their phone out they remove them from the building so no I don't and totally understand why they do it ! Yeh I get a bit emotional that my elderly mum can't ever see him doing school shows sports days etc but can't be helped xx

You do realise if you put this video on SM you are releasing it to the world. Including all the relatives of that child who sympathise with the parent whose spouse and children have fled from the abuse.

I have an account where I have no association with friends and family yet in my feed I often see people I know but haven’t even texted for months or ever pop up

So it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch for one of their videos to pop up

Another fuckwit entitled parent who thinks the rules don't apply to them/their kids because (*inset some radom bullshit excuse).

One of the incoming trends for scammers is to 'steal lives of children' to create fake profiles or by getting details of children who have recently turned adults. Theres a whole industry attached to this.

They can contain huge amounts of information which is useful. That innocent birthday photo of your kid? Great now you have a date of birthday and can impersonate them. Harassment of someone you don't like? Easy peasy. The scale of this is utterly frightening.

Information about your favourite football player? Great that's your password - this is a genuine example - a number of years back we had a online gaming friend who had Facebook account 'hacked'. DH has worked on internet security in the past and said that most people aren't hacked, they are just shit at passwords, I bet I can guess yours. A quick Google to find this guy's Facebook page and DH had this guys password in ten minutes flat (this guy had said he could try).

The degree to which people can track down others quickly and easily on social media is utterly frightening and not enough people are aware of how bad it is. And far too many people overshare too much very innocently or aren't good with who can see their profiles. Common sense doesn't always come into it. I know plenty of people with common sense but poor internet security.

It's not really a surprise that people who are abusive are going down this route to find kids who have been removed.