Sons GF- AGHHHHHHH Part 2- Christmas Miracle

[OneCheeryGoldMoose]

I posted the other day about my sons GF.

His dad had to go savage unfortunately. We had an episode where she told him he needed to quit his job on the evening of me posting my original post because she didn't like that there were women there.

He came down in tears again and my husband told him he either broke up with her or we would rent him a flat and he would need to move out as he we aren't going to watch him self implode and take no advice from us.

He blocked her on everything last night, was totally honest with us (was panicking as he had moaned to her about us and she has screenshots). We made it clear that if he didn't whinge about us as parents we would be shite parents anyway and dad said even if she sent us a message of him saying he hated us she would get a reply with a thumbs up and laughing emojis. We also managed to get her mums number and sent a polite yet firm whatsapp saying if she continues to harass him in anyway we will be contacting her local police department. We didn't read her reply as we blocked her before she finished typing.

Son is mad at himself, mad at her, had a couple of cries but has said he is mentally exhausted from it. His friend is coming over when he finishes work.

We have also arranged some counselling for the new year for some help with maybe self esteem and how to set boundaries in healthy relationships. He was so scared of her he was shaking after he sent a final message. Dad and I have been together since we were 18 so he is trying to get the same relationship basically which we had a long chat about how rare it is to still be together and he has plenty of time to meet people and decide who he wants to be with long term.

But thanks everyone for your advice it all got taken on board and ended up with the best result xxx

Rubbish!
well done mum and dad

Very soon he will be feeling so much relief, a lot safer, and like he’s got a new lease on life. The fact they’re in a different countries is so important and lucky.

Well done mum & dad. What a bloody nutcase - she will probably feature in a future netflix documentary!

And don't let him still go to the US, 'just because it was planned and I won't be seeing her', make sure it is all cancelled even if it costs money.

Oh this is great news! I have 3 young adult DCs and was so invested!

I was team snoop on the address and the parents lol

This, 100%.

Also, well done to your DS for confiding in you and your DH. You obviously have a great relationship with him.

Wishing you all a very happy peaceful (!) Christmas.

Well done to you and your son - what a relief. Absolutely spend time with him making sure he doesn't backslide - and I love the idea of counselling to help him set good boundaries for the future. It's terrifying that someone who has never even met our child in person can have such a scary impact.

I'm delighted to hear this. You must be massively relieved. She sounds like an absolute nightmare, I didn't know how you were going to resolve this when I read your original thread. I hope your son stays strong and stays away from internet 'gfs'!

Yes keep an eye on the papers - she’ll probably be “starring” in a True Crime documentary at some point.

I think that's a bit off as well. More than a bit off.

I agree. The OP tried everything. Its better to pay hardball and give him the shock of his life for a few minutes than to let him self destruct his life at such a young age and or put himself in danger from who knows what. Good for you OP. The ends justified the means. And the counselling sounds like a good idea. He was being groomed.

It does make me think often people who fall into controlling relationships do so because their own parents have conditioned them to think that is normal. To say you take our advice or we're not listening to you anymore and kicking you out is pretty abhorrent in my book. That isn't advice, that's controlling behaviour too.

Please make sure he goes totally no contact and none of his friends decide to 'help' and do not under any circumstances let him travel just because it's booked etc etc. Be very very aware that she can continue to harass and can make unfounded allegations as well which would have to be investigated regardless of any validity.

This has brought tears to my eyes. Your son is so lucky to have such supportive parents. I wish you all the best.

What a relief that he has such determined and loving parents!

In your last thread, you mentioned that she was very keen to live a 'trad wife' lifestyle totally funded by him, so it's really bizarre that she then insisted he quit his job... To me, this does not seem like she genuinely wanted a shared life with him. She just enjoyed manipulating him/controlling his life and wanted to see how far it could go.

I continue to be amazed that everyone thinks this is a real girl and not a scammer sitting in Africa, South America or Asia.

Is this the OP whose son was going to visit GF in the new year and your were terrified for his safety?
if so I’m glad he’s got rid!
If she does get in contact somehow he needs to not read the messages at all and delete without reading. I’m sure she’ll create a new email or social media account to contact him from so he needs to ignore message requests completely or get you to read and delete!
I would have been intrigued to see what her mother responded TBH…. Might have been a ‘OMG she has a habit of doing this and a police record for stalking…
The whole family also could be unhinged!

had he already booked his trip out there?

I'm pretty sure they face timed?

Why?

I’ve lived this with an ex partner, it’s a very common tactic used by abusers!

a scammer wouldn’t want him to quit his job would they?!… they’d be asking for money!

Fantastic parenting. Well done. Your DS has learned a lesson, but without any lasting repercussions to his life or his safety.

This doesn't tend to be how those romance scammers play it.

I’m stumped at people who think scammers would want a young lad to quit his job…. What would be the point of that!!
scammers want money not waste their time chatting to someone who doesn’t even have a job

Good news! I hope the poor lad can enjoy a peaceful Christmas, now she’s gone. Well done to you & Dad.

I think it's great parenting – he needed to know how despairing they were and how far they were prepared to go to protect him. Extreme tough love, but necessary.

Thanks for updating. I read your previous thread but didn’t comment because I didn’t want to terrify you.

I had a very good friend who was murdered by psychotic girlfriend aged 20. He just wouldn’t listen to any of us about how insane and dangerous she was and he paid the ultimate price.

Over forty years have passed and I still think of the life he missed out on.

I hope your son moves on from this stronger and wiser. 💐