Brother saying he would never date a British girl

[Glambow]

My brother is 27, we met up tonight for some drinks as we won’t see each other over Christmas, we aren’t especially close as there is a large age gap.
We got onto chatting about his dating life and he said “yeah I don’t know I’d just never date a British girl”, I was confused by this so pressed a bit and he expanded saying he wouldn’t date a girl who was raised in the UK or had spent most of her life in the UK. He also said he wouldn’t date Americans, Australians or Canadians. His reasoning was “accents are hot and I just don’t like British girls”.
This does appear to be true as his current girlfriend is from Argentina and his exes have been Norwegian, Italian and Armenian.

AIBU to think this is a very strange preference? Part of me can’t help but feel like there is something off about it.

It’s an exoticism fetish.

Where's he from? That's his preference I don't see anything wrong with that.Some people will only date people with tatoos etc, others prefer tall dark handsome etc isn't this the same ?!

He’s allowed to have a preference, just like everyone else does.

I always said I had no interest in dating guys who had the same heritage as me, which is pretty much what your brother is saying. As it happened, I married someone from a completely different background to me.

Definitely not a fetish thing for me.

He sounds nuts, bet you're glad you won't be seeing him over the hols

It’s not really for anyone else to judge someone else’s preferences. He can choose to date or not date anyone for any reason, if they’re willing to date him.

I could never have married a man from my country. No attraction. I know their bullshit too well and there is little interest in talking over the past with someone who has your exact language, memories, TV watching history, great sporting moments, etc. I have a foreign husband and if conversation fails we can resort to ripping the piss out of each other.

The evolutionary thing that stops people wanting to marry their own brother? Some of us feel that way about the whole wider male population.

It's not a fetish lmao, it's a preference.

I feel quite sorry for anyone who generalises like this as they’re cutting themselves off from so many possibilities. Obviously there are many different types of British woman. It’s prejudiced and shortsighted to talk about any group of people as if they’re all the same.

His reasoning that he will only date women whose accents he thinks are hot would definitely make me think he's an immature twat tbh. And then there is the misogynistic manosphere thinking that all white western women are used up, or whatever language they use, and your brother lumping the specific nationalities he has together (all of whom have different accents) would make me side eye him.

Side eye as much as you want, but he doesn't have to submit who he dates to you for approval lmao

Why do people care so much about what other people do? It's so fucking weird

Yes I agree, it’s fine to have a preference, but voicing it in the way the OP’s brother has makes him sound very childish. And writing off all British girls with ‘I don’t like them’ definitely has a whiff of misogyny about it. I wonder what he would have said if OP had pressed him to explain exactly what he didn’t like…

I have a friend who like Asian women… they are apparently
mire submissive and eager to please…
western women are confident, independent and don’t want to have a partner who they have to ‘mother’….
Anyway I’m guessing since he’s single that his ‘type’ isn’t working out that well for him!!

What a strange post. Caring about what other people say and do is kind of the whole point of mumsnet…?

This guy didn’t have to submit his dating preferences to the OP either, but he did, so here we are on this thread.

Each to their own. There are plenty of women who prefer an Italian or French accent to British. It adds a bit of international glamour I suppose.

I'm sure he'll grow up at some point and fall for a girl from Stockport, but until then, let him enjoy his international dating.

He’s got a preference I don’t find it odd. It’s just like being straight or gay

I knew someone like this. I've known him since he was 18 and now he's 54. His relationships have been two Americans and now a French woman for the last 19 years, with whom he has a child. Basically, he was an arrogant twat who thought that British women weren't special enough for his amazing self.

Oh ffs, I would also never date anyone with the same heritage (or adjacent heritage) as me either and it’s most definitely not a fetish.

Everyone is allowed to have preferences and unless illegal, it doesn’t need to be justified or questioned by anyone else.
What’s wrong with live and let live?

While he didn’t word what he said in a politically correct, “mature” or articulate way; it was a conversation with his OWN SISTER over drinks and I’m sure we’ve all been there or do the rest of you go through life always saying everything perfectly lest you end up being dissected on a forum? It doesn’t seem like he goes around broadcasting his view to all and sundry either as even OP didn’t know till now.

Honestly some of you need to get off your high horses before you get nose bleeds.

I am married to an Asian (far east) lady. If there is a second time around (jury is out on that) I am never, never, dating someone who doesn't have a similar cultural background to me. The lack of reference points is just too vast.

Saying that he prefers to date foreign girls because he finds the accents hot is fine.

Saying he doesn’t like British girls (even you?) makes him a bit of a dick, especially given the massive range of cultural differences that exist amongst British girls. However, it’s a dating preference so still fine. I doubt he’s a massive loss to ‘British girls’.

Dating is intrinsically discriminatory and people - yourself included most likely - narrow down their dating pool by cutting out whole groups of people based on their own preferences and generalisations.

For example, would you date someone (depending on your age) 25+ years older / younger than yourself? If not, why not? After all, I’m sure there are many different types of people in each age group and we know they’re not all the same; some will be old souls / young souls, share one’s interests, be attractive, have the same goals, be physically fit and healthy etc. Yet people will routinely cut out whole groups based solely on age yet no one feels sorry for them or think they’re prejudiced or shortsighted (most likely because the majority of us have limits on either end so it’s deemed acceptable but that still doesn’t make it any less discriminatory).

Based on this forum, I know some people won’t date those who have kids, are unemployed, aren’t a certain height, have a disability and so on. Do you think they’re being prejudiced or shortsighted? Or do you think they’re just their preferences?

I find it a bit weird when people have strong dating preferences about this kind of thing as I don’t have a set type myself it’s more about them as an individual. On that basis it seems bizarre to me to rule out literally millions of women from a set list of countries as if they’re one homogeneous group.

I’ve dated people from other places and it can interesting in terms of different conversation topics of reference points but at the end of the day they’re just another person. It seems quite surface level and othering to me.

Wonder if it also makes him feel more interesting and he likes to lean into some of the British men romcom stereotypes 🤷‍♀️

I agree it’s odd and there might be more to it than what he shared but who knows attraction is a very personal thing.,

Was slightly relieved to see the countries he’s dated from though and that it’s not all developing countries or those where women are generally more submissive. I think men who are vocal about not dating British women often lean that way. I’d find that much more off-putting in terms of preferences.

It’s a dating preference like I wouldn’t date someone who has been to prison 🤷‍♀️ He worded it immaturely - “I just don’t like British girls” but you’re his sister and this was an informal chat. Do you feel the same about men saying that they prefer blondes or American women finding “British” accents hot? There was a TikTok trend over the summer where African American women were swooning over Black Scottish guys’ accents.

There is a huge variability on what being a British woman is in terms of accents, appearance and attitude that I think his opinion is immature and sounds like a personal gripe and insecurity, sort of like Passport Bro's poopooing their own country's women because they can't impress them as easily as some women from backgrounds with less financial opportunities. I would think he's a misogynist and potentially a fetishist. He probably watches Pick Up Artists and incel podcasts. In any event, he's not a loss to British women and God help whoever ends up with him! As she must be quite desperate.

He likes what he likes & that’s ok!

His allowed to date who he wants 🤷

I am British and also not attracted to British people. Basically feel exactly the same as your brother! Why would that be a problem to you?