Brother saying he would never date a British girl

[Glambow]

My brother is 27, we met up tonight for some drinks as we won’t see each other over Christmas, we aren’t especially close as there is a large age gap.
We got onto chatting about his dating life and he said “yeah I don’t know I’d just never date a British girl”, I was confused by this so pressed a bit and he expanded saying he wouldn’t date a girl who was raised in the UK or had spent most of her life in the UK. He also said he wouldn’t date Americans, Australians or Canadians. His reasoning was “accents are hot and I just don’t like British girls”.
This does appear to be true as his current girlfriend is from Argentina and his exes have been Norwegian, Italian and Armenian.

AIBU to think this is a very strange preference? Part of me can’t help but feel like there is something off about it.

Possibly. But as someone who is married to someone not from Britain there are definitely advantages for me. I'm not talking about traditional values or subservience. British culture is very indirect and that makes for complications that I feel I avoid.

I'm British and while I wouldn't rule out dating a British man it wouldn't be my first choice.

I think it's partly because the foreign men I've met and dated are the type of people to relocate, travel, and work overseas which aligns with my lifestyle and interests. They are sort of pre filtered.

Also my kids have three nationalities and are bilingual so they have more options in life.

We all have our preferences and he is allowed to date who he wants. My british husband preferred to only date and eventually marry a foreigner. He was just not attracted to British women. He is a linguist and polyglot so his attraction probably started there.

I get you.

Im just reflecting on this because I lived in a country for 10 years and was married to a local man, and now when I look back on the whole thing, im pretty sure that if I'd been back in the UK and my ex was just Steve from Preston, my tolerance levels would have been a hell of a lot lower.
In my case at least, I do believe that our mutual foreignness papered over some cracks that would have been much more jarringly obvious if we'd both been from the same country

It's up to him isn't it? Seems to be a bit black and white to me, but it doesn't seem to have held him back on the dating front.

Same for me. I am British and I dont really find British men attractive at all.

My husband isnt British and I find many aspects of his culture and character very attractive and suited to my lifestyle and personality.

I think people are taking this very personally when it need not be. In life, not everyone is going to find you attractive and thats ok. It doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you.

Argentinians speak Spanish. Armenia is a former satellite state of Soviet Russia, so there could also be a political element in his choices here. Having such a strong outgroup preference (preferring women of totally foreign cultures) is concerning, but not all that uncommon these days.

He's still young, he'll end up marrying a Brummie :-).

I only dated tall men who weren't bald. Ì married 2 of them. Divorced the first one, still married to the second. That's just my preference.

With regard to the 'accents are hot', I would assume he's just talking shit with his much older sister who he's not that close to and not who he'd want to get into any more depth with when discussing his dating life. I'd laugh and leave him to it.

If I had 2 men interested in me and I like them both and one was from my home country, particularly my tribe and the other was foreign, no matter their country and I would always choose the person from my tribe. Theres no crime in having your preference. My brother didn’t care about where you’re from however, he’ll draw the line at a woman who has no ambition, that’s his preference, it’s not a crime.

He would change his mind very quickly if he met a British girl that he fancies.

Genuine question - what do you find unattractive about British men? You explained that you are attracted to your husbands culture and that’s fair enough, but what is it about British culture / men that repels you? If you found yourself single again would you go so far as to refuse to consider dating any British man?

I have dated British men in the past and found them to be very bullish, male British culture to be extremely focused on alcohol and quite misogynistic. I have also worked in many male dominated environments in the UK and found them to be frankly, gross.

I am not saying all British men are like that but there is a certain type of British maleness that I find very unattractive and really repels me. I wouldnt refuse to date another British man but I simply have not found myself attracted to one so why would I go out of my way to force myself to date someone I dont find attractive?

You said you dont find short men attractive so I could equally ask you- would you go so far as to refuse to date a shorter man? what is it about short men that repels you so much?

MN is very, very patronising about foreign or even non-white women when you scratch the surface.

Every thread I've seen about Asian women has been shocking.

It can be a little strange to hear for sure. I do find British guys that would only date foreign women a little strange, eg ‘I’m only attracted to Asians’ or ‘I love Scandinavian women’.

Then again I’m the same. I never have and doubt I would ever date anyone from my country (Denmark) or neighbouring countries. I’m just not attracted to tall blonde introverted guys! I also don’t really click with people that have never left their country. And I can’t imagine being romantic in Danish!! The accent/ language does actually kill it for me 🤣

I’m a world traveller that wants to learn about other cultures and languages, my environment, including my partner, needs to challenge me in that way or I get bored. Can’t imagine dating someone from the same neighbourhood or schools as me, what would we even talk about? If someone is a complete homebird, eg born and raised in London and never left, I doubt they’d understand my mindset. In my circles, living abroad is normal and expected.

I’ve only ever dated men with a different heritage from me, who have emigrated from their country of birth.

I’d also never date an American… The culture is just too vastly different. Probably also some other countries but haven’t given it thought.

Some British accents are hot though? I don't think OPs brother is looking for a meek submissive woman. Not too many of those in Norway , Argentina or Italy. Maybe it's the other way around - he wants someone to run his life 😅

It’s difficult knowing whether it’s a problem or not without knowing his actual motivations, it could simply be a preference that has lined up so far. If he was after cultures he deemed subservient I’d side eye him, but I doubt he’s getting that from Norway, for example.
I’ve also heard the opposite, men going specifically for British women because they assume they’re “easy”, which is a disgusting attitude to have.

I can’t imagine myself ever dating anyone from my home country ever again, especially after being with a British man. Of course problematic men exist worldwide but some cultures are worse off. We still have crazy levels of DV and deep rooted sexism, I’m not interested in dealing with all that again.
I suppose there’s also an element of novelty in dating from different countries, we end up having the best of both worlds in a way.

Absolutely all of this.

I would never date an Asian man. Some would call me racist.

How do Danes reproduce @ElleintheWoods ? Do they learn Italian or English so they can seduce one another? 😉

And I can’t imagine being romantic in Danish!! The accent/ language does actually kill it for me 🤣

This is so true for me as well 😂

It's normal to find foreign accents sexy. Fish Called Wanda?

Perhaps he prefers a natural look rather than all the plastic. The huge lips, the slug eyebrows, 17 layers of eyelashes, the huge arses, the orange fake tan, the jet black dyed long straight hair.
A little individuality can go a long way 😉

I get where you’re coming from. Big feeling of misogyny that all British women are somehow the same unworthy of him.

I know of one or two men who only date women from poor countries. Now THAT I find fucking weird and a play on equality if that makes any sense.