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AIBU?

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Original poster

Brother saying he would never date a British girl

240 replies

Glambow · 19/12/2025 02:13

My brother is 27, we met up tonight for some drinks as we won’t see each other over Christmas, we aren’t especially close as there is a large age gap.
We got onto chatting about his dating life and he said “yeah I don’t know I’d just never date a British girl”, I was confused by this so pressed a bit and he expanded saying he wouldn’t date a girl who was raised in the UK or had spent most of her life in the UK. He also said he wouldn’t date Americans, Australians or Canadians. His reasoning was “accents are hot and I just don’t like British girls”.
This does appear to be true as his current girlfriend is from Argentina and his exes have been Norwegian, Italian and Armenian.

AIBU to think this is a very strange preference? Part of me can’t help but feel like there is something off about it.

OP posts:
inamarina · 19/12/2025 07:52

NameChangeElaine · 19/12/2025 03:34

Oh ffs, I would also never date anyone with the same heritage (or adjacent heritage) as me either and it’s most definitely not a fetish.

Everyone is allowed to have preferences and unless illegal, it doesn’t need to be justified or questioned by anyone else.
What’s wrong with live and let live?

While he didn’t word what he said in a politically correct, “mature” or articulate way; it was a conversation with his OWN SISTER over drinks and I’m sure we’ve all been there or do the rest of you go through life always saying everything perfectly lest you end up being dissected on a forum? It doesn’t seem like he goes around broadcasting his view to all and sundry either as even OP didn’t know till now.

Honestly some of you need to get off your high horses before you get nose bleeds.

I agree. I think it just is what it is. Spelling it out as he did might sound a bit odd and immature, but people have preferences, whether they talk about them or not.
That’s why I find the concept of “exoticism fetish” not particularly helpful, nobody can tell others who they should find attractive.
I’ve seen it with women too, where they specifically looked for a man from the UK/ Scandinavia/ the Mediterranean.

user362905 · 19/12/2025 07:57

ProfessionalPirate · 19/12/2025 07:38

The height thing is a case of physical attraction and fair enough. When people talk about professions it’s usually for practical considerations. Eg I wouldn’t like to date a chef because they work such unsociable hours. I wouldn’t date a pig farmer because of the smell etc… I also wouldn’t like to date a low earner - not because I couldn’t find them attractive, but because the discrepancy in our earnings would become problematic in choosing dates, holidays etc.

So I’m sorry but no, I don’t think any of your examples are comparable to writing off an entire nation.

Show quote history

But now you are essentially saying "I am allowed preferences but he isnt".

I know plenty of people who prefer to date outside their culture. Doesnt make them any worse than someone like you saying you wont date anyone who earns less than X amount. You cant make your own preferences sound noble and justified and then slate his.

user362905 · 19/12/2025 08:00

gannett · 19/12/2025 06:54

Doesn't remotely surprise me that MN can dish it out but can't take it when suddenly they're the ones in the unwanted category.

Show quote history

Exactly. People are taking this weirdly personally.

I couldnt give a flying toss that this bloke technically wouldnt date me- who cares? I'd far rather date someone who does find me as a Brit attractive and my husband does so what does it matter? its no loss to me lol

inamarina · 19/12/2025 08:00

Aimtodobetter · 19/12/2025 06:15

Sadly my guess is this is not about a look he likes (given British girls look all kinds of ways) and more about the fact that he perceives British/American/Canadian/Australian girls to be too “independent” and expects with a girl from a different less “independent” country that he may get the gender dynamic he wants in his relationships. Of course, if that’s what’s motivating he’s an idiot on many levels but not your responsibility to fix…

Do you really think a Norwegian (one of his exes) would be less independent than a British girl?

Chantzaba · 19/12/2025 08:01

Obviously its totally not ujreasonable. The opposite? Now THATVwould be absolutely unacceptable, obviously ;)

SoLongLuminosity · 19/12/2025 08:02

I don't know how to vote on this one.

If he doesn't like British girls then they're well shot of him.

I expect its more a case that he hasn't had much luck with them.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 19/12/2025 08:03

SoLongLuminosity · 19/12/2025 08:02

I don't know how to vote on this one.

If he doesn't like British girls then they're well shot of him.

I expect its more a case that he hasn't had much luck with them.

Yes.
A language barrier might mean they don’t see through him immediately

Chantzaba · 19/12/2025 08:04

He might be one of those guys who cant actually get a British girlfriend because they've got his number, so he has to rely on pretending to be a charmingly eccentric british gentleman with foreign chicks.

You know a bit like older guys who date young because women their own age see through their shit

poodledoodles · 19/12/2025 08:06

I have tended to always date men who arent British. It's not that I have any weird blanket rule or anything and I havent planned it that way but it just happened that all of my partners have been non British.

I dont particularly find the British male look attractive if I am being honest. That is not to say there are no attractive men in the UK obviously, but they just havent really appealed to me and I find male British culture quite grim.

Everyone has dating preferences 🤷‍♀️

Floatlikeafeather2 · 19/12/2025 08:06

ProfessionalPirate · 19/12/2025 02:50

Yes I agree, it’s fine to have a preference, but voicing it in the way the OP’s brother has makes him sound very childish. And writing off all British girls with ‘I don’t like them’ definitely has a whiff of misogyny about it. I wonder what he would have said if OP had pressed him to explain exactly what he didn’t like…

Show quote history

So it's ok to think it, as long as you don't say it?

rwalker · 19/12/2025 08:07

Everyone has a preference his is accents that he finds attractive

no different than most people
we all have a traits we are attracted to weight,wealth,looks and types of personality

im not getting the judgement

inamarina · 19/12/2025 08:09

LoopingStar · 19/12/2025 06:48

It may not be the case but only wanting to date someone whose first language isn't English feels like he wants someone who'll always be slightly on the back foot, to me.

My first language isn’t English, yet I’m not feeling like I’m on the back foot at all, thank you very much.
We foreign women are not all submissive and helpless 😃

ProfessionalPirate · 19/12/2025 08:11

user362905 · 19/12/2025 07:57

But now you are essentially saying "I am allowed preferences but he isnt".

I know plenty of people who prefer to date outside their culture. Doesnt make them any worse than someone like you saying you wont date anyone who earns less than X amount. You cant make your own preferences sound noble and justified and then slate his.

Show quote history

It’s not just about preference, he has said that he ‘doesn’t like British girls’. In ADDITION to his understandable attraction to accents. What doesn’t he like? It can’t be about physical attraction because British girls are widely diverse. What then?

Heyhelga · 19/12/2025 08:11

Meh everyone is allowed to have their own preferences in what attracts them, but I find it odd he felt the need to broadcast his preferences to a group of friends.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 19/12/2025 08:12

I know loads of people, including women, who find an accent attractive. It's not a fetish. It's just a variant of what humans like.

Fernsrus · 19/12/2025 08:12

Can’t imagine why anyone cares about this.

thegrinchwasontosomething · 19/12/2025 08:13

ProfessionalPirate · 19/12/2025 02:50

Yes I agree, it’s fine to have a preference, but voicing it in the way the OP’s brother has makes him sound very childish. And writing off all British girls with ‘I don’t like them’ definitely has a whiff of misogyny about it. I wonder what he would have said if OP had pressed him to explain exactly what he didn’t like…

Show quote history

I agree. There’s usually misogyny at the heart of this kind of statement. it’s usually about British women not being ‘feminine’ enough ( having opinions/ not doing housework)

it’s also massively naive to think all women from one country are the same.

I think when people have a certain ‘type’ based on physical characteristics alone, they sound quite immature and view a partner like a commodity.

Chantzaba · 19/12/2025 08:14

I think its because HE can feel more exotic and interesting to a non British woman.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 19/12/2025 08:15

Chantzaba · 19/12/2025 08:14

I think its because HE can feel more exotic and interesting to a non British woman.

I wonder if this is it

Howwilliknow122 · 19/12/2025 08:15

BeQuaintRubyRobin · 19/12/2025 02:17

It’s an exoticism fetish.

Are you ok?

ProfessionalPirate · 19/12/2025 08:15

Floatlikeafeather2 · 19/12/2025 08:06

So it's ok to think it, as long as you don't say it?

Show quote history

I don’t think it would be terrible to say it but it would depend what company I am in. I would be tactful enough to not say that I don’t find short men attractive in the presence of a short man, for example.

FollowSpot · 19/12/2025 08:18

Accents is quite niche and a bit shallow when you look at all the wider elements of personality, values etc that make up a person, and all the physical attributes that contribute to sexual attraction.

But if I was into dating women, whatever else was going on, I couldn’t be with someone who has that ‘female American TikTok recipes’ accent. You know the ones that consist of “Coming in with my next UPF packet….right on top…. Puuuurrrrrfect…this is going to be SOOOOOO delicious…y’all…” punctuated by little whoops and squeals.

It’s unbearable (to me) . I wouldn’t get through the first half hour of a date.

thegrinchwasontosomething · 19/12/2025 08:19

inamarina · 19/12/2025 08:09

My first language isn’t English, yet I’m not feeling like I’m on the back foot at all, thank you very much.
We foreign women are not all submissive and helpless 😃

Show quote history

Of course you aren’t- but it’s the male perspective.

There’s possibly also the view that you will put up with more crap, because you come from a country that has more traditional values.

its all nonsense though as every country has a wide range of personalities. And if people have the balls to live in another country and speak a second language then they’re generally going to be more confident and assertive than the average person

Greenwitchart · 19/12/2025 08:19

So what?

Most people have some kind of criteria when it comes to attraction. Whether it is common interests, height, hair colour, love of travel...

Your brother just happens to have a thing for women from other countries. Nothing wrong with that.

inamarina · 19/12/2025 08:20

ACatNamedRobin · 19/12/2025 06:59

@Planesmistakenforstars
He's only spoken about the Anglo countries... there's a lot more countries with white western women. E.g. the rest of Europe.

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Yes, I find some of the comments on here saying he clearly doesn’t want an independent woman just because he won’t date British/ American/ Canadian women a bit odd.
There are independent women in other countries too.

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