Brother saying he would never date a British girl

[Glambow]

My brother is 27, we met up tonight for some drinks as we won’t see each other over Christmas, we aren’t especially close as there is a large age gap.
We got onto chatting about his dating life and he said “yeah I don’t know I’d just never date a British girl”, I was confused by this so pressed a bit and he expanded saying he wouldn’t date a girl who was raised in the UK or had spent most of her life in the UK. He also said he wouldn’t date Americans, Australians or Canadians. His reasoning was “accents are hot and I just don’t like British girls”.
This does appear to be true as his current girlfriend is from Argentina and his exes have been Norwegian, Italian and Armenian.

AIBU to think this is a very strange preference? Part of me can’t help but feel like there is something off about it.

He just sounds immature. Of course, a lot of foreign accents sound sexier to us but, when he does eventually hit it off properly with someone, her accent won't be the key reason.

Are you implying this is all British women? Why do so many of us Brits (assuming you’re a Brit) feel the need to talk ourselves down so much? I know nobody in my day to day life that fits your stereotype, BTW.

We all have preferences though. I wouldn’t date someone with very long hair, who was very overweight, I wouldn’t date a salesman, or someone of another religion. The list goes on. We’re allowed to choose who we date, marry, spend our lives with!

Your brother can’t help who he’s attracted to, although I’d imagine it limits his pool.

Out of interest, is your brother attractive?

After more than 25 years living in the Middle East and Asia, I can honestly say that every single white, misogynist weird angry man i have encountered has had a mail order wife. Every single one. Except weirdly, Scottish engineers.

What would the political element in dating someone from an ex Soviet country be?

What have the Scottish engineers had?

Yes...

Not sure why he felt the need to share this, it's a bit like giving you the lowdown on his favourite positions.

However, when I opened the thread I was expecting the reveal that he was an Andrew Tate devotee, so, this is a lot better than that.

That's quite a specific pool of British women!

I think that goes to show that by writing off an entire nation you will end up over-generalising. So it’s really just a certain type of British man that you find unattractive, rather than all British men. Because of course, there are many British men out there who are teetotal, mild-mannered and hold feminist values. But I can understand why your experiences might lead you to feel that way - I had an abusive ex from Liverpool and I must admit I’ve been put off scousers for life! It’s not a rational decision, just a negative association that I would struggle to get past.

The height thing is a question of physical attraction. Simply, I wouldn’t date a man who I was not physically attracted to. I wouldn’t anything out, but the attraction is either there or it isn’t. There are many physical attributes that I either find attractive or a turn-off. I don’t think it’s really the same as white-washing an entire nation’s personality.

If it turns out that the OP’s brother doesn’t like British girls because he thinks they are all sexually promiscuous and bitchy, just for example, I think that would be quite objectionable.

The OP asked him, and then she "pressed a bit" - a phrase I feel is doing a lot of heavy lifting and might be closer to "interrogated".

I agree sharing one's preferences when no one's asked is uncouth. So is pressing someone else about theirs, though.

Your brother sounds immature and shallow to lump every British woman into the same category.

To provide more context I don’t think it’s anything to do with wanting submissive women, his type (inferred from the 4 long term relationships he’s had) have been conventionally attractive, university educated women. He’s definitely not misogynistic (at least not in the typical sense) he’s rather liberal leaning actually. I’m not sure Norway (his longest relationship) is really known for having submissive women anyway? His current partner certainly isn’t what I’d define as submissive if anything she’s probably more opinionated, firey and less willing to please than the “stereotypical British girl”.

I guess I thought it was interesting as he gave accents as the reasoning but then ruled out anyone from an English speaking country effectively, which is interesting as you certainly get a diverse range of accents within native English speakers.

But even "firey" is such a weird shorthand 😅 What does that mean? Does it involve being from a spanish-speaking country and being all artistic and shit a la Vicky Christina Barcelona?

What's up with this British women "willing to please" thing too?

I thought we were all roaming the streets like packs of baying dogs, getting pissed and screaming at the menfolk using our rubbery pornstar lips 😂

Ah, I see, my personal dealbreakers, shaped by experience and taste, somehow need explaining, while yours—like height and wealth—are self-evidently perfectly reasonable. Got it.

That said, I’m not saying all British men are off the table—just that my experiences have left me less attracted to certain traits I’ve repeatedly encountered, much like your height preference isn’t about every shorter man, just what sparks attraction for you personally. With regards to appearances, I also generally dont find British men on the whole that physically attractive.

In both cases, it’s about personal taste, not sweeping judgment.

I’d say he is conventionally attractive yes. He is sporty and ludicrously tall (6’4). He’s a lovely guy in my opinion I just felt his “absolutely no British girls, I haven’t even been on a date with a British girl since 2019” was very dramatic! It all started as we were talking about how he met his current girlfriend and I joked he must be hanging around embassies a lot as they are never British.

It's the whole 'I'm not racist but...' convo.

Rejecting a whole nationality or ethnicity. I've heard it from otherwise lovely people. Sad.

Either that or he's a passport bro. Looking for a submissive woman. Assumes a woman from Asia or South America will bend to his will. Deluded but buying into the racist stereotypes.

There are plenty of liberal male misogynists. I find it a particularly dangerous category of sexism.

To edit:

Because they feel emboldened to comment on feminism and assume as “liberals” their opinion should have gravitas.

Sounds like a win for the women of Britain tbh!

Being attracted to people who are different to you is probably an evolutionary instinct to bring fresh dna into tbe gene pool

I had an ex colleague who said this, “English women are just out for what they can get” he claimed, though how he knew this was a mystery since he never went out. He was a slob of a man, with terrible halitosis and the social skills of a slug. Then he got scammed by someone who he met on line who claimed she needed money first for her mothers operation, then to save her dogs life. He flew over to see her and got beaten up for his pains by her live in boyfriend.

Did he learn his lesson? No. He then found a Russian woman half his age who he paid a fortune to get visas for and marry. She then pretty much drained his bank account buying amazing clothes (and having her hair done at a very expensive celebrity hairdresser) but then got fed up of waiting for him to get his huge inheritance from his very wealthy parents and doting aunties and divorced him. I knew their next door neighbour and apparently the rows were spectacular.

“accents are hot and I just don’t like British girls”.

I agree some accents are very appealing. We have many different ones across the UK to be potentially charmed by. Not a problematic comment at all.

However, 'I just don't like British girls' is an odd, rather disturbing, remark. I strongly suspect the majority of British women feel the same way about your brother just based on this comment. What a twattish and sweeping opinion.

I suspect he is still angry/disappointed by being rejected by several British girls at a time he could be reasonably described as a British boy. So he's preemptively rejecting them all first. That'll show them!

I'd have been tempted to agree with him, and repeat his words slightly tweaked in return..

"Yes, I agree. Most British boys are awful. Their neediness and unrealistic expectations are so off-putting. They demand so much, yet offer so very little in terms of intelligence and personality. I'm not surprised our marriage and birth rates are falling."

Then make my excuses and go home to my lovely (British) partner.

@Glambow I think it's an unusual preference, but he's allowed to have it. We all have preferences in a partner - I'd never date a smoker or someone with tattoos, but those are just my preferences and I wouldn't expect anyone else to share them so I think YABU.

I mean “accents are hot” is a pretty common view point, in a jokey way, I just wouldn’t expect anyone to take it to the point of actually not dating a British person.

I think it’s called “exoticising” when you date people based on them seeming foreign and different, and is frowned upon by the young! Quite reasonably.

I also think the fact he won’t date people from other anglophone countries is weird - that’s the bit that grabs me. I mean those peolle
have accents to our eyes, but clearly speak English as a native language. It’s as though he wants his girlfriend to be communicating in her second or further language and be at a disadvantage in the conversation.

Would he consider learning a foreign language so that he can have a “hot” accent in the girlfriend’s eyes?

I find it absolutely hilarious that some posters are calling him out for his supposed biases and assumptions yet are inadvertently revealing their own! PMSL that only the British, Americans, Canadians and Australians can be strong independent women who take no shit and all the other women in the world (as a group) are more submissive, traditional and somehow on the back foot 😂 Any foreign national who has taken the leap to leave their home country and move to a new one (especially where the language is different) is pretty tenacious in my book and probably has a degree of smarts about them. Also having lived in other countries myself, male tomfoolery is more or less all the same, different flavours sure but all still ice cream at the end of the day.

Also, just because brits aren’t big on second languages doesn’t mean the rest of the world aren’t and it’s actually quite insulting to assume being foreign means you can’t be proficient. Not being funny but I have known many people of other nationalities who speak English as a second language who are a heck of a lot more proficient than some native speakers.

Some of the responses on this thread are reminding me of what some men do when you reject them which is to take it personally and insult us, call us names and say there must be something wrong with us rather just accepting we’re not interested, it’s not a personal slight and keep it pushing.

The political element there will be that Armenians alive today will likely have lived through communism and the collapse of the USSR, therefore they understand the warning signs much better than you or I. Katie Melua is a good example as she's Georgian (she has citizenship to three countries; Georgia, Ireland and Britain) and was born in 1984, she'll have been around 8 years old during the collapse of Soviet Russia. She and her family then emigrated to Ireland right in the middle of The Troubles, so she spent the majority of her life growing up in politically-unstable/war-torn countries. Don't forget also that Russia occupied Georgia as recently as 2008 and there are still frequent protests in the capital today.

Long story short, if the young man in the OP has a preference for Armenians, he's likely to date a girl who isn't outwardly left-wing.