Christmas dinner invite taken back due to grown up sons hissy fit

[Darkcat]

Earlier this year, I was invited to spend Christmas Day with my partner’s family. That invitation was made months ago, and I’d been planning around it.

Recently, however—just a week before Christmas—one adult member of the family has decided they don’t want me present and has pushed for the invitation to be withdrawn. On top of that, they’ve also stated that I’m no longer welcome at my partner’s home where he lives.

This has left me in a difficult position. With such short notice, it’s too late to make alternative plans, especially as my own child has already arranged to spend the holidays elsewhere.

I’m struggling with whether it’s unreasonable to expect my partner to stand up for me and say that I should still be included, particularly given that I haven’t caused any conflict or done anything to justify this reaction. At the moment, it feels like the situation is being allowed to continue without challenge, despite the fact that everyone involved is an adult.

What reason have they given?

What has your partner said? How long have you been together?

Do you know why this person doesn't want you present?

Could you and your partner spend the day together and avoid his family?

I do think your partner needs to deal with this. Unless there are very good reasons why the adult child doesn’t want you there, they need to stand up for you.

obviously, difficult to give you an answer without knowing all the details though.

I wouldn’t have wanted my step mother on Xmas day but I never invited my dad over on Xmas day. We did put up with her at other times as she was the partner of my dad (despite the fact we couldn’t stand her).

Why don’t they want you to come?

And how can they banish you from your partner’s home? Do they live with him?

All things being equal - no back story - your partner should make a point of spending Christmas with you ( there is plenty of time to arrange your own celebration and food)

You've still got enough time to buy food to have at yours with your DP, just a suggestion.

You and your partner need to have your own christmas unless there is a valid reason why he is picking his family over you which if thats the case its not much of a relationship

There must be a reason? Even if it's bullshit.

I think there is a bit more information needed. What happened? Is your partner still intending to go or be with you?

As you've done nothing wrong then I'd expect your partner to back you up and tell them he is not coming either and just have Christmas day with the two of you.

If he doesn't back you up I'd question the relationship and if it's worth it.

Your partner should be standing up to you. Surely it’s his decision whether you’re allowed at his house??

I agree with pp if your partner doesn't step up in supporting you the best idea is to spent it together yourselves. But I have a suspicion that he will want to go to his family?

Whether it's unreasonable or not is all gonna rest on why they don't want you there. What reason did the partners child give.

I feel a massive drip feed coming

I suspect the reason you have not provided more detail is because you have done something to create this situation

What do you mean by partner? How long?

I'd expect him to say OK, but I'm not leaving DP alone at Christmas and arrange to do something just the two of you.

That said, why doesn't the brother want you there?

Is there a piece of the story missing? Why a of a sudden does he not want you there and not only for Xmas by the sounds of it. What’s happened?

Oh, if it's an adult child of DP's that's different.

But agree with others, the why is very relevant

Adult children can take against new partners for no clear reason and. Make life very hard for everyone

Much more context is needed. Theres obviously a backstory.

I don’t think this is likely in the OP’s case as they did originally invite her. Something has happened since then

I'm guessing the mother/ex is going to be there, and they haven't been separated long? Or this is quite a new relationship and the OP is a virtual stranger to them.

Is this your blokes adult son?.

I think this is up to your partner to deal with OP. If he just goes alone with it and expects you to stay home, then you'll know for future if he'll have your back or not.

Right and until then it'll be a guessing game.

You've entitled you post "grown up son's hissy fit" and yet you make no further mention of it. This is obviously the crucial detail and the reason you've been "banned". You can't expect anyone to comment without further context.