Christmas dinner invite taken back due to grown up sons hissy fit

[Darkcat]

Earlier this year, I was invited to spend Christmas Day with my partner’s family. That invitation was made months ago, and I’d been planning around it.

Recently, however—just a week before Christmas—one adult member of the family has decided they don’t want me present and has pushed for the invitation to be withdrawn. On top of that, they’ve also stated that I’m no longer welcome at my partner’s home where he lives.

This has left me in a difficult position. With such short notice, it’s too late to make alternative plans, especially as my own child has already arranged to spend the holidays elsewhere.

I’m struggling with whether it’s unreasonable to expect my partner to stand up for me and say that I should still be included, particularly given that I haven’t caused any conflict or done anything to justify this reaction. At the moment, it feels like the situation is being allowed to continue without challenge, despite the fact that everyone involved is an adult.

If you haven’t done anything to justify this, it’s a ridiculous demand which your partner should ignore.

What's happened between invite and now the withdrawal. Plus wanting you out of house . DP better step up . Grown up DCs don't get to call the shots .

Me too.

OP without more info people can’t give you their opinion.

Well your thread title would suggest that it's your partners adult son who has objected?

Surely your partner has told him to button it?

Is he mad at you because you drop bombshells and then vanish or because you avoid answering important questions because I can kind of see his point

More context is needed.

@Darkcat no one can say if this is unreasonable given that you haven’t made any explanation as to why the sudden objection to your presence. You must know what the reason is for your DPs son to have objected, even if you don’t think the reason is justified.

We need to know why.

Is it his child who is calling the shots here?

I wouldn’t go somewhere I was so unwanted, the day would be awful for everyone. I also couldn’t stay in a relationship with a man who would allow this to happen.

There’s been no conflict, no disrespect, and no triggering event. I’ve had positive interaction with this his son until recently he took a dislike to me with no reason given to me by my partner who just told me he doesn’t like me anymore. I have always been polite. This situation seems to stem solely from their personal feelings, not from anything I’ve done.

Yes, the “grown up sons hissy fit” is very telling

From the information given it is impossible to say who is in the right , but I assume from the thread title that the adult son of your partner is the one who has said he doesn’t want you there .

Right well then your DP needs to not be pushed around by his son. I would suggest he tells the DS that you’re coming over for Christmas but no one will be forcing him to stay at the house if he’d rather not have Christmas with you.

You are being dishonest. People don’t just randomly take a dislike to someone if things have previously been positive.

Completely agree. If your DP panders to this, there is no hope

In what way are you partners if you don’t share a home/life?

Invite your boyfriend to yours? Would be pretty awkward to be an unwanted guest. Son lives there too presumably so has a right to be there, and if he doesn’t want you there that’s gonna be awks!

If this is the case then you would expect your partner to support you. Why don’t you and he have a nice intimate Christmas together in your place.

Is this DP’s son?

Age? Additional needs? Any background?

Yes, we can’t answer anything unless we know the back story.

Oh I’d run

Issues already you not even living together.

Maybe they can see you not are not good fit and they’ve called it

Well there are 2 possibilities

1. The adult son has reason for his "hissy fit" whether you do or do not know the answer OR
2. The adult son is behaving entirely unreasonably

I'd suggest your partner needs to find out the reason behind the "hissy fit" and work out whether (1) or (2) applies. If it's 2, then he needs to stand up for you.

If you've really done nothing which would aggravate the DS then your DP should be standing up for you. I wonder if the DS thinks you're getting too close and he's worried about his inheritence

why would you want to go to some where youre obviously not wanted......eat drink and be merry, watch what ever you want on the telly .....on your own ..and fuck em..x

I think DP is in a very difficult position. Should he really "abandon" his DC at Christmas for a (relatively?) new GF?

Also, I wonder what DP isn't telling OP?