DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

Say nothing and say it often.

You'd also be amazed how much some of them earn and what they get for free!!!

Contrary to a lot of people on here I tend to believe that if done right, influencing can be a “proper” career. I’m young though, the same age as your son.

Oh god, your husband needs to shush. Relationship likely wont go the distance by laws of averages and more importantly who made DH ruler of what's an acceptable way to make a living? What does he do btw? There are v few professions that don't have a few holes to pick.

Wow, how out much of a judgemental dinosaur is your husband, are you not ashamed of him? I can’t imagine my husband behaving like this and if he did, i would be furious.

the pair of you should be curious, this woman is making a decent living from what she does, and I can assure you, with so many influencers that is really not easy.

and I am in my fifties. Even I know that.

Regardless, what will warning him off do? Only push him away. It's not worth it. The relationship could be fleeting anyway. Let it go.

Your DH sounds a judgemental areshole! I’d be welcoming her and chatting about her travels. Fair play to her for making an income from it- she sounds the opposite of idiotic!

Influencers are smashing it. Some of the ones my daughter watches are incredibly successful.

Bloody hell your son is 26. You talk like he's about 12. You need to cut the apron stings, he's a fully grown adult.

I’d hate it too, op but you are right in that you can’t say anything. Just make sure she knows via your son if you don’t want to be filmed/her to film in your home etc. There was an ‘influencer’ at DC’s last school who lost lots of friends (as did her DC) as she kept filming other people’s children on play dates, school events etc.

Yes she seems to do very well for it, and while I think it shouldn’t necessarily be encouraged as a career path (very precarious), I do think good for her she must be doing something right! And she’s got tickets/travel paid for to go to a lot of interesting events which sounds like a nice way to make a living!

If my dad had tried to interfere with my relationship when I was 26 I would have been disappointed that he didn’t trust me to make my own decisions.

@sleepyjessie it certainly can be - for now. I guess the op’s concerns are more about the longevity of it; remember, us oldies have seen trends come and go, and there does seem to be an overall weariness towards the whole concept of influencing nowadays, which could indicate that it won’t be a thing in 20 or 30 years’ time. That said, how many jobs these days will still exist then?!

Op, your instincts are right; don’t say anything derogatory to your ds, or try to steer him away. Instead, why don’t you spend some time talking to him over Christmas? Just ask him, in as neutral tone as you can muster, what his thoughts are on the whole thing? You may be reassured by what he says.

1. He's an adult, its none of your business.
2. Even if she was the dumbest person on earth, she not lesser.
3. You sound very judgemental.
4. Whats wrong with a career in social media? Some people are making millions.

My advice, keep your nose out.

Rethink her job as content creator, not influencer, and give her the credit she deserves for building her own business and financial independence.

Having said that, I couldn't be in a relationship with someone whose every moment was documented, so hopefully its not like that and their relationship can grow away from the lens.

As far as I know she doesn’t “vlog” her day to day life just travel/experiences. Luckily I don’t think our family home will qualify as travel nor experience!

If she’s as sensible as OP says, she’ll be investing her money. But at the end of the day, it’s not OP’s worry unless they get married

They can earn a hell of a lot of money doing it. It’s not my thing, but they aren’t hurting anyone. Rather that than some scrounger who doesn’t work, surely?

I can imagine having difficulty with some careers of a child’s partner - professional torturer, executioner, assassin etc. I don’t know what I would do if ds brought one of these home.

The ‘low IQ’ bit is interesting. I think he is underestimating the skill required, but even if it’s true, so what? If he brought home someone who seemed dim, whatever their job, would that require some sort of input from him, and why?

I loathe the idea of being an influencer or marrying one and think it’s a vapid, meretricious way of earning a living, but that’s true of a lot of jobs. He really needs to stop thinking this has anything to do with him.

Why on earth shouldn’t it be encouraged as a career path?

I'd hate this but I would shush. While muttering darkly under my breath.

Your husband sounds like a bit of a snob on this issue. Intriegued to know what he does for a living .

You and your DH need to move with the times, if she is earning a living at it, well done her! I have young adult DC, I always remember DS headmaster stating that the working world and jobs will be very different to what we know. Personally with AI coming in, they need to be smart and know where they can earn a living as jobs as we know it will/are reducing.

Your DH doesn’t know what he’s taking about. I work for an investment company that owns several large brands and all of the engagement managers (who manage the content for social channels) have been or are influencers of their own accord.

It is a skill base that can be very easily parlayed into a well-paid corporate job if your DS’s girlfriend gets bored of the game.

It is no less credible as a job than any other job with a creative aspect. I say this as someone in their 50s.

Why?

honestly some of these responses are akin to the people going on holiday and not wanting to eat “forgein food” …

when people don’t understand something they dislike it,

Gosh various reasons, the need to give up the right to privacy to some extent, the precarious nature, heavily oversaturated market, cancel culture just to name a few.
It’s not something I’d encourage my children to do, that doesn’t mean it’s bad though.