DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

I’m probably a similar age to you, and I think the concept of career path is a bit dated these days tbh. Even in professions people are often trying to take what they learn and move on to do their own thing.

She’s running her own creative business - if it stops earning sufficient income I’m sure she can apply the skills elsewhere. As someone who had to drop all ideas of a career to earn money around caring for a disabled child I believe being able to find a way to make money relying only on your own creativity and hard work is pretty good skill to have.

If your husband tries to push him away, he will end up pushing him forward.

That's not a fact but I feel it is so true, that it should be treated as if it is one.

So much of what would have been called marketing or journalism in my day is now called influencing. She’s basically a travel journalist, it’s an interesting job.

You sound less up your arse than your husband about it but still a long way from understanding it.

Don't be so dismissive about cancel culture. It does and can happen to travel influencers.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-42750803.amp

Elle had her entitled email published online - she's had a negative public perception ever since (various reasons).

My niece is an extremely successful influencer. She has a first from Oxbridge and had a coveted grad position in a big 4. She made the decision to quit her job and pursue her burgeoning influencer opportunity.

She earns £250k a year, easily. She travels first class all over the world (for free) - she’s currently in New Zealand. She is constantly sent stuff, offered hotel stays and holidays and asked to mention brands. She puts out maybe one TikTok a week.

The different generation in me can’t help but think it’s nonsense. Her content is so heavily curated and almost all of it is smoke and mirrors. She promotes brands she doesn’t know or like, but very convincingly. She is playing a part and her fawning followers don’t know her at all; they just see the side she wants them to. But if you can make a success of it, why not? It’s given her a life she could only have dreamed of and if the bubble bursts, she’ll have set herself up financially.

She is working in marketing and sales. The platform is new but the job has been around forever.

Personally I hate the whole concept of the " influencer" world. But my disdain is for the sheep who chose to be influenced by some random on social media.

I wouldn't be happy with the career choice of this woman either but of course it would be wrong to say anything and your DH needs to bite his tongue and hope the relationship just dies a natural death.

Agree with both points, my neice is an influencer, and has just bought her own house with what she earns.

Maybe they will have a baby for clout 😬

in all seriousness though he’s an adult. His choice who he dates. Say nothing

I would only be concerned that my family and I would end up as 'content' so I would be very clear with expectations and boundaries (no mentions of us, no photos of us or our house etc)

So if she was described as an independent lifestyle journalist, content creator, or entrepreneur would that make it sound better? Your husband sounds like he thinks she’s doing Only Fans.

Of course it’s relevant- your DH, in particular is rubbishing someone else’s choice of career. Why shouldn’t his be held up to scrutiny too?

I don’t think there’s a problem as such, but I’d put it in the same category as someone wanting to be a footballer or a rock star - as in the likelihood of it succeeding is remote, so If my teenager was planning it as a career I would say something. But this is a woman in her 20s who seems to be making a success of it, so good on her.

😲your husband is a knob. Tell him to butt out.

This girl has a highly successful job. What’s the problem? Leave her alone. Sounds very intelligent to me.

Low iq😡

I don’t get the title “influencer” you’re basically a sales person on the internet. The whole trying to make sales people into celebrities is somewhat laughable to me. But I don’t laugh at the people doing it, I’m laughing at the people who buy into it. IMO they’re the low IQ ones. The “influencers” are simply making money off other people’s gullibility. The skilled ones make a decent living. The only time I’d worry is if the girlfriend was up her own arse thinking her sales job was actually worthy of celebrity status and started living like a celebrity - ie living beyond her means and thinking she was better than everyone else).

Just keep schtum and hope the relationship dies off for non-influencer reasons.

I don’t think it means she has a low IQ at all. Tell your husband to try and make interesting content consistently and get followers. There’s a reason not many make it, it’s not easy. Honestly who cares what the career of your child’s partner is?

It's a valid career as any others these days. The world of work has shifted and there is very little stability in any career. Having worked in the corporate world for 25 years I have never worked anywhere that doesn't do mass redundancies every few years.
If I was in my 20s and didn't have a mortgage and kids, I would do this. In my line of worn I often pay influencers quite huge sums to produce content or endorce.
Often people start with influencing and then make a business around their niche. So you start as a travel influencer, if you get good you can create products or a travel agency or a travel media website.
My parents don't understand my line of work either, they have said 'be a lawyer or a dr or an accountant'. Ok but I make more money than the average lawyer, work half the hours, enjoy my work and travel the world. But no matter how many times I explain my job to them they still do not understand it.
Your husband will never get her job, but he should try and understand the business mechanics of it if he wants to form an opinion.

Am trying to reframe my thinking to think this way.

Influencers don't feature in my life at all, other than forums I don't use social media. However, I know of a few young people (friends' children) who make a living out of it, and I say, good luck to them.

We all know how hard the job market is for young people at the moment - graduates applying for hundreds of jobs and getting nowhere - if your son's GF has found a way to make a decent living from this, well done to her!

At some point the bubble might burst, or any influencer might find themselves losing popularity because whatever their selling point is, is no longer flavour of the month, but at least your son's GF will have made some money out of it, and 'content creation' with demonstrable experience and results isn't a bad thing to have on your CV these days.

Influencing has a bad rep.

It is either sales or influencing change I.e politics, or creative storytelling.

Both of these roles have lots of skills associated with it which will be very marketable in the future. Good for her,

Bullshit she’s clearly in the same boat with the daft comments on cancel culture and lack of privacy,

Very relevant. He’s poo pooing someone else’s career. Why should he be immune?
There’s plenty of negative stuff people might say about the pharmaceutical industry! Anyway, her career sounds much less degrading than those of us who are slaves to the usual working life. Your husband sounds a little bit bitter to be honest. if this were my husband I would have really embarrassed him.

What? Why if they like each other?

My son’s best friend is an influencer, she funds her life in London this way so is obviously doing ok with it.

as pp it’s just working in advertising/marketing as a freelancer really.

this girl absolutely won’t have a low IQ, she’ll be a smart cookie. Your husband sounds like a misogynist dinosaur.