DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

I hire influencers in my job, and some of them are charging about a grand for a reel and two stories. This has gone up massively in the last 12 months.

Where else can you earn that for half a days work?

Just snobbery.

Can you imagine being the person who thinks it’s idiotic and have a low iq to be successful at this, or married to that person.

rhe skill required in doing what she’s doing, and she’s running her own business, and to stand out from the crowd , to be able to make a living, is signficant.

it’s not this young woman who is idiotic with a low iq.

Loads of careers paths are precarious. It's all a bit silly and makes you sound very set in your ways and old fashioned. Screams of I don't understand it therefore I hate it

Say nothing, tell your DH he sounds like a dinosaur.

Stop judging and move with the times.

Life changes, this is how things are advertised now.

If you remove the influencer title and actually look at what skills she has to do what she does then I think it is impressive for that age. Marketing, communication, presentation skills, business skills, brand awareness, financial management. This may help him see that these are very transferable skills so when she no longer wants to do this she will be sble to get other jobs.

Well it depends. Food influencers for example, don’t tend to be 19. Food reviews maybe yeah, but those who know food and how to cook…30s/40s.

There isn’t one type of influencer, as there is a different audience for each niche. Same as any kind of marketing.

It didn’t hurt Lydia Elise Millen did it?
Would your husband be so vehement if she was in a low paid career or unemployed, or is it specifically because she is an “influencer” and he is against it or doesn’t really understand it ?
Your son is happy and she is earning a good living, What is the problem? 🤷‍♀️
Personally I’d just leave them to it and butt out.

Although my instinct is to agree with your husband that it’s an idiotic career he should definitely not say that out loud.
My biggest concern about ‘influencing’ as a job is that it isn’t very stable or reliable and can become very toxic if you suddenly find yourself out of favour. One misjudged comment or post and you’re toast.

No, but this young lady is a 'travel' influencer. And yes, you're right there are fields of 'influencing' which tend older, with an older audience, but the vast majority are very 'looks orientated', even in those fields not concerned directly with appearance. So if you're an influencer you'd better not have to start using a walking frame, or put on five stone on steroid medication, or be in an accident that causes you facial scarring, or...

well. Yes, It's still appearance led, as is most 'customer facing' media.

It’s the equivalent of our parents telling us we should date a doctor or an accountant because they are high status careers.

there’s no red flags here, it’s just snobbery.

I dated a computer programmer (they had no idea what a computer was, much less what a computer programmer did)

In terms of “what if she gets cancelled” it’s probably one of the best career paths to get “fired” from, if you get fired in a traditional job, it’s awkward when it comes to references and a formal interview process.
There are many cancelled YouTubers working as editors, script writers within the sphere, you can get picked up for freelance work with just an editing reel, no interview etc or spin up a new faceless channel with the skills they learnt, while still making passive income on the channel you were “cancelled” from as people will still watch old videos.

Influencing is very lucrative for some at the moment, though I suspect it will be going the way of the dodo soon due to AI.

AI video/audio creation is still advancing rapidly and with it will come an array of eternally youthful beauties with an impossibly constant stream of content.

I haven't RTFT but I am shocked at the poll results.

Being an 'influencer' is different to a 'traditional' career but it has SO many benefits. You can earn very well for not so much work (once you are well established), you get to have lots of cool experiences, free products etc, you don't need to subscribe to the traditional 9-5 life.

And once you have a decent following you can easily branch out into creating your own product, running group trips, whatever you want really if you're business savvy enough.

So what if it doesn't last her whole life and she needs to pivot? With AI - this will be the case with many previously well respected jobs anyway. And likely by the time she needs to pivot she will have made her money and not care.

I say good on her!

your DH needs to shut his beak. He sounds like an insufferable snob. If anyone wants to make a big deal of this, don't come back in 3 years with "aw my DS won't come to visit, DH won't visit them and I've never seen my grandkids"

ALL careers for everyone are precarious right now. Including pharma (although depending on what part he's in, to a lesser degree)

I'm sure she's fine, I'm sure your DS is fine.

Say nothing. He will come to his senses eventually.

You need to say nothing OP, your DS is clearly very happy so don’t spoil Christmas by potentially starting an argument and alienating him over your views. Your DH sounds like my parents, unable to move from the parent/child relationship to parent/adult relationship. Not great for a healthy relationship long term imo.

In this situation I would be telling my DH to say nothing and in the event he did I would be backing my son and bigging up what she is doing saying how I’d watched her and loved the content. Do you feel you need to back your DH in front of your son or that your DH will get angry if you do?

Tell DH that she is a modern day Judith Chalmers fronting a travel show. I'm in my sixties and comparing all this to TV programmes I know that deal with similar subjects is the way my mind understands it.

This reminded me of when my DH went to university to study computer science nearly 40 years ago. He got a job in a bank and I remember his DF making fun out of him saying his DS pushes a trolley around all day (I’m not suite why he said that). My FIL stopped laughing a few years later when my DH’s annual bonus was more than my FIL earned per year.

A family friend and her husband are influencers. They are 30 and own six huge houses outright; give LOADS to charity and have more money than they know what to do with. They also know their career may have a shelf life so they heavily invest into passive income schemes. They do this all on their own and their knowledge of the internet and ins and outs is insane. IMO if you are very successful influencer and are running the show and behind the scenes yourself it in noway suggests a low IQ as your husband seems to think.

I think the word "influencer" is clouding your and your husband's views. If someone was a freelance travel journalist 20 years ago, and making good money from it, would he/you think that they were thick and it wasn't a proper career? Because she is doing the contemporary equivalent of that. Like it or not, print travel journalism doesn't sell. People watch YT instead of reading Lonely Planet now. In fact, if she's doing all the filming, editing etc herself, it's even more skilled.

this is somewhat surprising, you are in fact a highly educated professional woman @Thatsnotmyjobtoday!

This young woman is a successful entrepreneur within a highly creative career,

Why your husband and to a lesser extent yourself are so disparaging just shows both a lack of understanding and judgement about how she chooses to acquire her wealth, neither admirable.

She sounds smart.

Your son is 26 years old fgs, don't you trust him?

So if I understand this. You're (maybe just husband but you both sound equally as bothered) worried about your son dating a lady who is successful, doing something she loves, is educated and I'm assuming at the very least is very keen on your son.

Yes it can all flop at a moments notice but isn't that the case with any job? NHS jobs are under fire, banking isn't what it used to be. I'd be a lot more open minded or I think you'll find that you'll sour any future relationship between you both.

And I can just imagine the posts in a few years about a distant DIL who doesn't visit at Christmas.

“Influencing” is just a freelance marketing gig, if that helps your DH get his head around it.

Given how insecure many traditional jobs are, (work for a US owned employer and your workplace will likely undergo redundancy rounds at least once a year), she’s onto a good thing.

As long as she’s doing what any sensible freelancer would be doing, eg tucking money away for slower periods, running a pension etc, then what’s to sneer at? Being your own boss and getting in lots of travel sounds bloody good to me.

Would you say the same of a freelance tv presenter?

Your son is 26 and who he dates is entirely up to him, I wouldn’t try to disuade him from her. Likely he’ll be upset and your break the relationship. Your DH also has old fashioned views on careers. My own view is that your DS may get sick of making content after a while if he’s involved - because from what I have seen nothing is just a relaxing holiday or event -
making good quality content is very full on!