DS dating a “influencer”, to think we just need to bite our tongues

[Thatsnotmyjobtoday]

DS is 26, normal job, normal life, very happy. He is currently in the early stages of a new relationship and his girlfriends job is social media, YouTube mostly but also TikTok etc. she seems to earn well from it and does mostly travel/experience content.
Personally I don’t really rate social media creators as a career but I understand some do very well from it, she seems like an intelligent girl, has a degree etc.
DH has much stronger views and thinks it’s idiotic and suggests a low IQ. He is adamant we need to ward DS off the girl. I think that would be futile, in my experience expressing discontent with an adult DCs decisions tends to only lead to them going further in on it.
I do have concerns they he might get tempted into the social media world or that her travel heavy lifestyle will make maintaining the relationship difficult, but I also think that is not our problem and DS will just have to navigate it if it comes up.
DH on the other hand is under the opinion that him being an adult doesn’t mean we aren’t his parents and a word of caution/advice is our duty in this situation.

Im worried DH is going to say something over Christmas (they aren’t spending it together but DS is coming home) and it’s going to result in an argument. Right now I’d say DS is in the smitten and doting phase so even if we did offer our opinions (which I don’t think we should) I doubt he’d listen as obviously she’s the best thing since sliced bread right now. I also worry we might not actually be qualified to comment as we aren’t part of the social media generation so have limited understanding on how it actually works.

AIBU to say we just need to bite our tongues, not rock the boat and see where it goes?

Yes there are downsides to the job, if she was a singer or actor would you say the same things though? Or is it just content creators. I feel its a bit idiotic to think content creators have low IQ. They are actually setting themselves up for an endless list of careers if they want to step away from the camera, marketing, media production ect.

Assuming she's a similar age to your son, can you stop calling her 'girl'?
Do you refer to your son as 'boy'?
Are you a 'girl'?

Why should OP have to spoon feed this to her husband? He could try educating himself or just STFU.

Influencers are leeches. I am surprised at some of the comments on here..

I encounter them all the time through my work, and their outrageous sense of entitlement never ceases to astound me tbh. I have yet to meet one who isn't simply on some massive grift.

Having said that, I wouldn't say anything to your son. She might embarrass him away anyway.

Of course it’s a proper career. It’s simply a ‘today ’ form of entertainment. Does your husband think being an actor or a singer or a comedian or a documentary producer is a career? Social media content creator is just that. There are crap ones and really good ones.

dh hasn’t even seen one of her videos? I cba with that nonsense, warning ds off something he knows zero about and hasn’t even took 20 mins to look at.

@Thatsnotmyjobtoday - show this to your DH. It’s sounds like you are both being judgmental about someone who is successful. No job is secure so let her make her money and enjoy life - something to be encouraged and supported.,

But you’re also being judgemental. A travel influencer doesn’t remotely give up her right to privacy, cancel culture is not remotely relevant , it doesn’t matter how saturated the market is, she’s successful

I think it’s good you came on here, as hopefully if will make you both reflect on your own behaviour, your judgemental attitude and understand the extent of your ignorance.

you welcome this woman, you spend time understanding what she does, and it is not your job to judge people’s career choices and then warn your son based on utter ignorance,

So are only certain jobs suitable? in the nicest way possible, your husband is being an idiot. Is actor suitable if it’s on the old tv?

Your husband’s attitude is what pushes kids away!

It’s basically marketing with a different name. Would DH be happier if she was a “Marketing Exec”. I do get it as I’m older with teen kids so I’d be nervous too if one of them went this route but it’s their life to lead.

Not everyone on YouTube is making money from selling crap people don't need or posting videos of their private lives and kids etc. There's a massive range of content on there. I love travel videos, I watch a lot of Bald and Bankrupt and Indigo Traveller etc. Also she's not likely to get cancelled unless she's some kind of bigot, in which case I think your DS has bigger problems.

Oh…this is just old fashioned and your son would be right to a) laugh and b) ignore.

My partner does something similar and it gets us some free stuff, that’s really all.

OP what do you and your husband do for a living?

The poor son, you’d be utterly mortified wouldn’t you if this was your parents.

I’m not sure why it’s relevant exactly but DH works in pharmaceuticals and I’m a physiotherapist.

Gosh, you’re both very judgemental. She’s in a creative career, which takes time and skill to build and you both belittle her for it. If you say anything I’m afraid it will be you who comes across as lacking the intelligence required to embrace a changing world, where large companies work with content creators to promote their products and services. She will have a wealth of transferable skills, not to mention an incredible network of interesting and useful people.

Your DH needs to learn to take a step back. Vetting your kids partners is a sure fire way to push them away from you. It’s really none of his business what his son’s girlfriend does for a living.

There's some lack of knowledge here. Im 56 and my day job is selling preloved fashion on ebay. To do this i promote across all sm channels and on live auctions. I dont have a lack of privacy, noone knows where I live. It increases my followers which equals revenue, I'm just about to start a home renovation channel on youtube, we move in tomorrow. Im small fry and earn about £200 per 60 second reel. I can do up to 5 a day. It's hard work and I felt a bit of a tit yesterday filming in b&q but it's fun and lucrative. I f I was in my 20s I would be milking it

Cancel culture?!

So being a self employed, entrepreneurial hard worker isn’t good enough for your husband?

I can imagine it’s not the most secure of jobs, but neither are many others.

It’s also likely to be a lot less risky in terms of personal safety than some mainstream jobs including police, many NHS and education roles.

I’d tell DH that he’s the dim one if he raises this with your DS and you will make it clear that you do not agree with him. Not much you can do other than that, I think.

Hopefully astrophysicist and brain surgeon given the high IQ requirement.

Lol at the idea of “warning” a 26 year old man because you disapprove of his new girlfriend’s job. You both sound quite out of touch with reality.

Does your DH remember Wish You Were Here (80s child alert!)? What does he think Judith Chalmers was doing? What's the difference really, except that she was she was employed by the TV corporation and probably had no control over where she went or what she did!

Your approach is the right one, OP, your DH really needs to keep quiet or risk a fallout. Its not just about this new gf, it's also about him undermining your son's choices. He's a grown man who needs to figure his life out for himself.

It's a bit unfair that some of these responses are lumping OP in with her husband, she clearly says it's none of their business and her husband is an idiot.