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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son dumped by gf -update

865 replies

OneGreenPoster · 16/12/2025 17:06

Some posters said I should update with what happened, That thread is now full.
Things have escalated a bit and it looks like he'll have to move a lot sooner.
Not much else to say on the matter.
I didn't think the last thread would get so much interest, thanks for all the advice though

OP posts:
LadyKedleston · 16/12/2025 17:08

I'm not really surprised that he has to move out sooner, no-one wants to live with an ex...

ComfortFoodCafe · 16/12/2025 17:09

Can he afford to get another place? Im not suprised though, nobody wants to live with an ex.

Poms · 16/12/2025 17:09

It’s hardly surprising

TomatoSandwiches · 16/12/2025 17:10

Probably for the best, clean breaks are healthier for both parties.

Mumofteenandtween · 16/12/2025 17:10

Please tell me you didn’t contact her!

Motnight · 16/12/2025 17:10

Oh blimey. It was always going to be difficult living in your ex partner's home. Is he able to move back in with you, Op, temporarily?

PaperBlueCornflower · 16/12/2025 17:11

You're brave to come back.

Hope in the long run it all works out for your son. Painful life lessons but a better life ultimately.

ThatAquaRobin · 16/12/2025 17:12

It's a lesson in how young women should behave if they ask for clarity about intentions and then get it.
He said no to marriage after 3 years!
She moved on to look for someone who is ready.
Respect to that woman who is clear about what she wants.

LadyKedleston · 16/12/2025 17:12

Mumofteenandtween · 16/12/2025 17:10

Please tell me you didn’t contact her!

Absolutely this!

It reminded me of The Archers when Jennifer Aldridge used to wade in and interfere with her grown-up children's relationships. Except that's fiction!

ilovesooty · 16/12/2025 17:14

I'm not too surprised really. I was rather surprised she was allowing him to stay until after Christmas.

Presumably if he's working he will be able to find somewhere else.

RainbowBagels · 16/12/2025 17:15

ThatAquaRobin · 16/12/2025 17:12

It's a lesson in how young women should behave if they ask for clarity about intentions and then get it.
He said no to marriage after 3 years!
She moved on to look for someone who is ready.
Respect to that woman who is clear about what she wants.

This. I have boys. If they strung a woman they loved along like this and she dumped him, I'd be shaking her by the hand. He would have taught my son how to respect women and not waste their time in a way I couldn't do. He's learnt a harsh lesson.

Cheesetrapped · 16/12/2025 17:15

To be fair to Jennifer, she learnt her lesson. She accepted Alice's marriage to Chris even though it meant she was "related to a Horrobin".

LadyKedleston · 16/12/2025 17:18

Cheesetrapped · 16/12/2025 17:15

To be fair to Jennifer, she learnt her lesson. She accepted Alice's marriage to Chris even though it meant she was "related to a Horrobin".

Edited

And of course she was right about Simon, Debbie's ex husband. Bastard.

Coalday · 16/12/2025 17:18

ThatAquaRobin · 16/12/2025 17:12

It's a lesson in how young women should behave if they ask for clarity about intentions and then get it.
He said no to marriage after 3 years!
She moved on to look for someone who is ready.
Respect to that woman who is clear about what she wants.

Agree.
I have children of both sexes and would be telling my son's they messed up and were rude and disrespectful in their response, and my daughters to help him pack.

Not surprised she wants him out of her home asap.

SeaShelli · 16/12/2025 17:20

I know its an upsetting time for your son, but maybe frame this for him as a fresh start. He's still young, and he won't be single forever.

BMW6 · 16/12/2025 17:20

Makes sense that he moves out ASAP. When I read that he was going to stay in her apartment till after Xmas I was 😮

Cardinalita90 · 16/12/2025 17:25

Did you ask him why he didnt take her more seriously or approach it more respectfully when she broached it? There must have been something holding him back - whether thats a niggle about the relationship, fear of commitment, etc. He'd do well to work out what it was to learn from it for future relationships.

She 100% made the right call though and moving out gives them both a clean break.

phoenixrosehere · 16/12/2025 17:26

Escalated?

Did you try to talk “sense” in to her?

Or, did he prove her extraordinarily right for ended things with him by saying or doing something stupid?

AssembleAChairFromIkea · 16/12/2025 17:30

Anyone got a link to the prev thread please :)

SoLongLuminosity · 16/12/2025 17:30

So when is he moving home with you?

Lilaclane · 16/12/2025 17:32

I think she’s dodged a bullet. Your remark about her being too old at 27 to find someone else was outrageous. Ditto contemplating contacting her. She’s a great example of living by values - more power to her.

A salutory lesson to your son to shit or get off the pot.

notacooldad · 16/12/2025 17:36

So when is he moving home with you?

Why does it matter?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 16/12/2025 17:39

Of course he is having to move out sooner !
I would have expected him out on Sunday, surely neither you nor he thought he would continue sharing her house with her
and her bed ?!!!

Catwoman8 · 16/12/2025 17:40

I disagree with the posters who have claimed your son didn't love her just because he hasn't proposed - yet. Less than 3 years is fairly short to be honest , most couples I know have got engaged between the 3-5 year mark. However, your son handled a serious conversation poorly, instead of reasurring her he wants marriage and a future (if that is what he wants) , he refers to " silly timeframes" instead and in doing so, he has clearly put doubts in her mind about his level of commitment