Son dumped by gf -update

[OneGreenPoster]

Some posters said I should update with what happened, That thread is now full.
Things have escalated a bit and it looks like he'll have to move a lot sooner.
Not much else to say on the matter.
I didn't think the last thread would get so much interest, thanks for all the advice though

Quite, if it was that important she could have made the proposal - I still say there is another man in the wings.

Well done that woman.

Why is it so wrong that he didnt want to get married? Not everyone wants to get married.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to get married. The GF ended it because they didn't want the same things.

I think it's unwise to chase, but I don't think it's harassment really. My dear grandad took my grandmother a bunch of flowers every day for 6 months as she point blank refused to have anything to do with a rating in the Navy. They ended up married for over 60 years!

Sounds like she waited to do it until she was 100 per cent sure which means she’s already grieved the relationship and has mentally moved on. He’s disappointed her and she’s let it go. It’s understandable. Remind him in future to listen when women say how they feel. It’s absolutely ok that he didn’t feel ready - it’s probably a sign it really wasn’t the right relationship for him and he will look back and be glad she released him.

She did want to get married though. He clearly would have said no if she had asked him, as she asked him for a timeline of when they would get married and he dismissed her and said he wouldn't giver her one. Anyone can decide they don't want to gt married but they cant then be surprised if their partner, who does want to get married tells them to piss off out of their house and stop wasting their time!

There would have been a very uncomfortable atmosphere.

I doubt it. I’m not in the least bit sorry as he was given the opportunity to develop the relationship and chose not to.

Understandably so. Your son had his chance.

I'm assuming in Poland on holiday, not that its her home country, it doesn't say that, she's going to her parents for xmas when she gets back.

She did ask him, more or less. If he didn’t want to get married he should have taken himself off instead of being a wet lettuce. Good for her.

She isn't polish, they've gone for a Christmas market I believe. She will be home for a day or so before going to her parents.
She's blocked him now anyway
Husband has told him not to try and contact her in any way now.

This ^^

It also occurred to me that she might have had her head turned and wants to give it a go.

Shes come to realise there’s chaps out there who fancy her and she hopes for more from the bigger pool than your son was currently offering.

Well his double shot himself in the foot now.

Likely she’s scared of him a bit if his become so ott while she’s gone after dumping him and being kind enough to give him till after Christmas to leave.

I expect she will have a group of men with her when she finally comes back to make sure he is gone and I would advise her to if she was my
friend or daughter.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married, or with wanting to get married. if two people in a relationship are on different pages, there’s also nothing wrong with them splitting up as a result of this incompatibility.

There was a lot wrong with how he handled the conversation. She was trying to have a serious conversation with him - so she was not in fact sitting around waiting for a proposal - and he shut her down.

Good on her.
I wish I had her gumption when younger. Instead I wasted 14 years of my life with a man who wouldn't know commitment if it sat on his face.
Your son needs to lick his wounds, learn his lessons and move on.

It sounds like your husband is giving him good advice - all he needs to do is move his stuff and leave the key. It's horrible when you break up with someone and they continually harass and pester you. Not to mention undignified.

Your husband sounds like the only one with any sense here! He must have realised he was playing silly buggers and deserved everything he got.

Thank god for your husband - sounds like he's the only sensible one in your family.

Your grandad is lucky that harassment and stalking laws didn't exist then. However the fact is this guy has been texting and calling begging for her to take him back even after she turned down his sudden offer of an engagement so much that she's told him to get out of her flat and never contact her again. The question is what else is this prince of a man going to do next

🙂

Hopefully dad can have a man to man chat with him about not harassing women who are not interested in him and also not stringing women along for years and telling them
time lines are silly.

Your husband is spot on - he will get himself in real trouble if he pursues it - her blocking him is in effect her asking him not to contact her, legally any further contact would be classed as harassment, he doesn't need that on top of being dumped (nor does she deserve it) he needs to respectfully let it go.

These days, we try and teach men to accept that 'no' means 'no' and it's not OK to ignore what a woman wants and to force her, mentally or physically, to give in to what a man wants.