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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Son dumped by gf -update

865 replies

OneGreenPoster · 16/12/2025 17:06

Some posters said I should update with what happened, That thread is now full.
Things have escalated a bit and it looks like he'll have to move a lot sooner.
Not much else to say on the matter.
I didn't think the last thread would get so much interest, thanks for all the advice though

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 20/12/2025 08:41

AbbaCadaBra · 20/12/2025 08:27

It doesn’t sound to me that her head has been turned but that she probably realises that there are men out there who might see a future with her. It might be that she is seeing friends starting to make plans and being around some young men who have expressed the desire for that in their own future.

I agree. I'm just saying it makes no difference either way really.

The13thFairy · 20/12/2025 09:38

nosleepforme · 16/12/2025 21:55

Sometimes blunt is kind

Your son's heartbreak is a self-inflicted wound. He had it coming.

The13thFairy · 20/12/2025 09:50

Folderoller · 16/12/2025 22:19

Your son’s problem is you.
Take off the blinkers and see him for what he is. He thought his gf would always be there like mummy. Always devote herself to him like mummy. Wouldn’t expect anything from him like mummy. Give to him like mummy.
No.
Your husband’s intent on making him man up. Shut up with the intervention, thought that the gf has missed a golden opportunity, that poor son is heartbroken.
No.
This 30 year old man needs to realise the he’s one of many and in a queue of choice.

I'd give thanks for this post a hundred times if I could.

The13thFairy · 20/12/2025 09:56

Saladbrains · 16/12/2025 22:22

It’s not a faff-up: the son DID NOT WANT HER as a wife.

FFS, we know he didn't want her for a wife. He made that crystal clear and that's why she broke up with him.

The13thFairy · 20/12/2025 10:00

Saladbrains · 16/12/2025 22:31

Because she wanted an emotional response from him, remember?

When he didn’t give an emotional response however long ago when she had her diary out asking for timelines you all jumped up and down on him for being emotionally uninvolved.

So she provoked him again, and this time he gave her the emotional response and like sheep you all follow each other with he’s wrong no matter what.

The son did not want her as a wife.
She obviously wasn’t good enough.
He stayed at her home for convenience.
She had enough and called it.

It doesn’t make any one of them more wrong than the other.

He has agency and he has choice, and his choice when she asked was “no thanks”.

Why can’t you all accept that he has the right to say “no thanks” by his behaviour?

His choice, his agency.

Bless.

Saladbrains · 20/12/2025 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

The13thFairy · 20/12/2025 10:32

sprigatito · 16/12/2025 22:46

Something tells me a certain poster has a neckbeard and an X account filled with rants about “hoeflation” and pictures of Sydney Sweeney’s cleavage…

Yes! And thinks that love means never having to say you're sorry.

Mothership4two · 20/12/2025 10:57

@Saladbrains

He has agency and he has choice, and his choice when she asked was “no thanks”.

Why can’t you all accept that he has the right to say “no thanks” by his behaviour?

His choice, his agency.

He absolutely had the right to say "no thanks" and should say that if that is how he felt - not that he exactly said that though, he said sometime and kicked the can down the road. She also has the right to say "no thanks" when he asked. They fact that they both have choice and agency isn't really the point, it's that he and his parents are now regretting his choice and the consequences.

The13thFairy · 20/12/2025 11:05

MayeJane4 · 17/12/2025 00:14

I find all the responses on this thread confusing. We are tearing this guy apart for not being ready to get married after three years of dating. But isn't that actually quite a short amount of time, especially at their relatively young ages. I think she has found someone else and is now using this as an excuse OP. But regardless of reason, your son will be just fine.

It's perfectly reasonable for him to not want to marry her. Tbh, I'm surprised that you think this is why we are criticising him ~ unless, of course, you haven't actually read the whole thread. We are criticising him because he told her timelines were silly. He belittled her. Unfortunately for him, he just found out the hard way that he was not the prize.

Aplycrumbly · 20/12/2025 20:16

“She obviously wasn’t good enough” and yet he’s pleading to be given another chance and rushing to make a proposal? How pathetic of him to do all that if he felt she wasn’t good enough right?

And if that is actually how he felt surely you agree it was also very cruel of him not to have called it a day when she expressed interest in marrying him? Why waste years of a woman’s life and potentially harm her self esteem like that by hanging around when you actually know you don’t want to be with her long term?

He could have said no, can’t see a future with you and packed up and left. Instead this man decided to stay on in her house, continue the relationship he knew wasn’t going anywhere and string her along.

The son did not want her as a wife.
She obviously wasn’t good enough.
He stayed at her home for convenience.
She had enough and called it.
It doesn’t make any one of them more wrong than the other.

Read your own words back @Saladbrains . By your own admission continued the relationship so he could stay in her house for his own convenience. Of course it makes him “more in the wrong”! All she did was catch on to his deception and end things.

MeTooOverHere · 20/12/2025 21:14

The13thFairy · 20/12/2025 09:56

FFS, we know he didn't want her for a wife. He made that crystal clear and that's why she broke up with him.

and then he discovered that that was not what he wanted either!

Lavender14 · 25/12/2025 22:03

This has now been picked up by media.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 25/12/2025 22:34

The media must be really bored if it has now been picked up by them, as it's now 9 days since the Op did this update.

MeTooOverHere · 26/12/2025 02:11

Really? Which media?

Nevernonono · 28/12/2025 16:39

MeTooOverHere · 26/12/2025 02:11

Really? Which media?

www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/dating/im-furious-over-reason-sons-36436127.amp

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