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Original poster

Son dumped by gf -update

865 replies

OneGreenPoster · 16/12/2025 17:06

Some posters said I should update with what happened, That thread is now full.
Things have escalated a bit and it looks like he'll have to move a lot sooner.
Not much else to say on the matter.
I didn't think the last thread would get so much interest, thanks for all the advice though

OP posts:
203percent · 16/12/2025 17:40

Refreshing to read about a young woman who made her priorities clear, got a lukewarm answer and moved on. She knows her worth for sure.

Maybe the son will move forward with the knowledge that woman are actual people with their own complex internal lives, with needs, desires and plans for the future, which are not dependent on his whims.

It'll be good for him.

SilkCottonTree · 16/12/2025 17:41

Good for her, she gave him a chance to commit to her and he didn't so she asserted her boundaries. Hopefully this will be a good life lesson for him, but she may now always be the one that got away!

BuckChuckets · 16/12/2025 17:42

What do you mean 'things escalated' and he has to leave? She ended the relationship = he has to move out of her house.

Arlanymor · 16/12/2025 17:44

It is horrible having to live with someone you are no longer in a relationship with - whether they dumped you or the other way around. Healthier to have a clean break and it means they can both go into the new year with a fresh start.

Hoardasurass · 16/12/2025 17:44

SoLongLuminosity · 16/12/2025 17:30

So when is he moving home with you?

@OneGreenPoster was clear that she wouldn't have him back in the last thread so hes obviously not one of the "good ones" like she claims.
I'm going to guess that the ops son did something inappropriate which has resulted in him being told to get out asap

mydogisthebest · 16/12/2025 17:44

Catwoman8 · 16/12/2025 17:40

I disagree with the posters who have claimed your son didn't love her just because he hasn't proposed - yet. Less than 3 years is fairly short to be honest , most couples I know have got engaged between the 3-5 year mark. However, your son handled a serious conversation poorly, instead of reasurring her he wants marriage and a future (if that is what he wants) , he refers to " silly timeframes" instead and in doing so, he has clearly put doubts in her mind about his level of commitment

I think 3 years is plenty long enough to know whether you want to marry someone or not. I don't understand couples who wait years before getting engaged and then wait years again before getting married.

Maybe if a couple were not living together it might be understandable to wait a while but if living together why wait?

50lbstolose · 16/12/2025 17:46

Here for the update

WallaceinAnderland · 16/12/2025 17:46

I suspect that, rather than 'escalated' OP means that the GF has had to reiterate that it's over because he would not take no for an answer. This has been an extremely steep learning curve for him but good on her for not letting a man mess her around.

YouMightLikeCats · 16/12/2025 17:46

In the last thread you said both that "he wants to marry her" and also "he wasn't ready for a lifelong commitment".

Which of these is it?

Cornishclio · 16/12/2025 17:47

I am not surprised she has asked him to move out asap. Difficult for your son but a salutary lesson on listening in his next relationship and acknowledging women have equal power and don’t just need to wait for a man to be ready for commitment. I hope he isn’t too heartbroken and I suspect his feelings are more to do with the fact he has to move rather than losing his girlfriend. It might be a good idea for him to live alone for a while to give him time to reflect in what he wants from his next relationship.

MissFancyDay · 16/12/2025 17:47

Sorry to hear that OP, even though I do think she probably made the right call. Hopefully your son can move on now with Christmas to distract him.

It has been a painful lesson to learn but maybe he will treat his next girlfriends feelings with more respect. I wish him well.

justbecauseyoucandoesntmeanyoushouldx · 16/12/2025 17:48

50lbstolose · 16/12/2025 17:46

Here for the update

I bet either she found the thread or he turned up at her work do and proposed

MannersAreAll · 16/12/2025 17:49

That's an update that will surprise no-one.

Given how rudely he dealt with her asking to discuss their future it was laughable that he (and you) expected her to put up with him in her home for another month or two.

Especially after the "oh I'll go and buy a ring tomorrow" insult.

Original poster
OneGreenPoster · 16/12/2025 17:50

I don't message her!

I think the only reason she was going to let him stay until after Christmas is because she's in Poland with friends for a few days with a friend and then she's going to her parents until new year.
So she wouldn't have seen him much in the spare room.

She's changed her mind because my son kept texting and calling her begging for another chance and she's said it's all a bit much.

OP posts:
arcticpandas · 16/12/2025 17:51

So he will be back with you @OneGreenPoster ? Maybe it's for the best. If he had been in love he wouldn't have hesitated about making a comittment. This way he will find someone who is right for him and who he will propose to without prompting.

MannersAreAll · 16/12/2025 17:52

She's changed her mind because my son kept texting and calling her begging for another chance and she's said it's all a bit much.

So he harassed her so much while she's away she's had no choice but to kick him out...

Do you still think he's one of the "good guys" or have you finally given him a rocket about how he's treated her?

MintTwirl · 16/12/2025 17:52

OneGreenPoster · 16/12/2025 17:50

I don't message her!

I think the only reason she was going to let him stay until after Christmas is because she's in Poland with friends for a few days with a friend and then she's going to her parents until new year.
So she wouldn't have seen him much in the spare room.

She's changed her mind because my son kept texting and calling her begging for another chance and she's said it's all a bit much.

She sounds great, honestly it is so refreshing to hear abo it a woman who knows what she wants and needs and acts accordingly,
You need to tell your son to leave her alone.

WallaceinAnderland · 16/12/2025 17:52

justbecauseyoucandoesntmeanyoushouldx · 16/12/2025 17:48

I bet either she found the thread or he turned up at her work do and proposed

Show quote history

In effect, the GF has already proposed. She asked him if he would marry her and he said no. He turned down her proposal so it's perfectly normal and natural to end the relationship at that point. I'm surprised that he's surprised tbh.

cuddlebear · 16/12/2025 17:52

Maybe the sad old spinster has a new fella already?

Pedallleur · 16/12/2025 17:53

There was a recent thread where a poster had dumped her partner of 3 years, this being 5 years ago and he had gone back home and sat in his room gaming etc and now his sister was blaming the poster as apparently he couldn't have a baby (he was now 30). Don't let your son be this man. Your son had his time and was even given the opportunity to commit or not. He chose neither, she chose not to since there was no commitment from his side.

Soonenough · 16/12/2025 17:53

My daughter is in the same position as this young woman . I do wish she would give an ultimatum but definitely not getting involved . I worry that he is content to just drift along but nothing I can do .
My son is the other side too as he doesn't seem in any hurry to get engaged or married . I think that is more about affording a wedding or complications regarding her separated parents. Either way it's absolutely none of my business unless I am asked.

RainbowBagels · 16/12/2025 17:56

OneGreenPoster · 16/12/2025 17:50

I don't message her!

I think the only reason she was going to let him stay until after Christmas is because she's in Poland with friends for a few days with a friend and then she's going to her parents until new year.
So she wouldn't have seen him much in the spare room.

She's changed her mind because my son kept texting and calling her begging for another chance and she's said it's all a bit much.

Have you asked him why he didn't want to marry her? I know its a bit late now, as shes sensibly kicked him out. I think you need to have a word with him and tell him to pack it in. He's now harassing her. If he wanted to marry her that badly he would not have dismissed her when she asked.

Iamnicehonest · 16/12/2025 17:56

Why is it so wrong that he didnt want to get married? Not everyone wants to get married.

Also, if it was such a big deal to her why didnt she ask him to marry her? Bit pathetic these days to wait for a man to ask if that what she wants.

He's better off without her.

DeftWasp · 16/12/2025 17:56

OneGreenPoster · 16/12/2025 17:50

I don't message her!

I think the only reason she was going to let him stay until after Christmas is because she's in Poland with friends for a few days with a friend and then she's going to her parents until new year.
So she wouldn't have seen him much in the spare room.

She's changed her mind because my son kept texting and calling her begging for another chance and she's said it's all a bit much.

I'll bet there is another man on the scene - sorry for your son.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 16/12/2025 17:57

Catwoman8 · 16/12/2025 17:40

I disagree with the posters who have claimed your son didn't love her just because he hasn't proposed - yet. Less than 3 years is fairly short to be honest , most couples I know have got engaged between the 3-5 year mark. However, your son handled a serious conversation poorly, instead of reasurring her he wants marriage and a future (if that is what he wants) , he refers to " silly timeframes" instead and in doing so, he has clearly put doubts in her mind about his level of commitment

and when faced with her ending it after he belittled her feelings, suddenly he wants to go out and buy a ring together and start planning! Absolutely don't blame her for not biting there.