Page 34 | Son dumped by gf -update

OneGreenPoster · 2025-12-16T17:06:45+00:00

Some posters said I should update with what happened, That thread is now full. Things have escalated a bit and it looks like he'll have to move a lot sooner. Not much else to say on the matter. I didn't think the last thread would get so much interest, thanks for all the advice though

WomenAreNotEmotionalSupportAnimals · 19/12/2025 13:05

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 11:08

Over a 15 month period between 2018 and 2019 I had unwanted packages sent to my home. I had multiple hate accounts on twitter dedicated to me. I was doxxed hundreds of times. I was reported to the dwp for benefit fraud I wasn't committing.

There were threats to come and find and harm me. One tweet threatening to maim me.

Photos of my house went on twitter. I had police sent to my door to harass me.

I know exactly what harassment is. I have lived through it to the point my life was almost ruined. If the OPs gf went to police and asked if that was harassment - they would show her the door. Because it took 7 attempts for police to do something to help me - even when photos of my home were going on social media -they couldn't have cared less

The OP said in her first post that the gf dumped him out of the blue and then went off to get ready for a party

They also had communication at some point clearly because he said he would buy a ring and she said no

She could also have blocked him sooner. If someone is phoning you and you don't want to talk to them - block them

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I'm very sorry that that happened to you

As for the rest of your posts about this situation 🙄

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 13:07

anytipswelcome · 19/12/2025 12:31

That’s not correct. I think you’ve misunderstood the wording around those laws.

Repeated messaging that causes distress, alarm, or fear can qualify even if the sender thinks it is flattering or harmless. It’s not about what the sender means to make the recipient feel.

My stalker thought they were being romantic by sending novels of undying love to me despite me asking them to stop. They thought it would win me over if they kept trying. Needless to say that wasn’t the case. They thought they loved me and we were meant to be together. I was terrified and they were prosecuted and found guilty, and a restraining order was granted.

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I live in Scotland and the definition of section 39 stalking is at least two instances of unwanted behaviour where the sender knew or ought to have known that it would cause or was intended to cause fear and alarm

I was stalked for 15 months by a gang - they meant to cause me fear and alarm

I appreciate your point about some stalkers thinking that the contact was flattering - what I was trying to say above is that it's repeatedly being said that what this man was doing is harassment

He was calling and texting begging for another chance.

And in your case - even though the person sending the messages thought they were being romantic or flattering. It's the fear and alarm they caused you that saw them prosecuted under law

I just think we need to be very careful labelling someone a harasser at the end of a relationship for phoning and texting asking for another chance

Some people in those scenarios might take it too far unfortunately. Others will realise that the relationship is over and leave it there.

I've made plenty of mistakes in my life. I'm far from perfect. We can all do things that are out of character at times.

The OP didn't say at any point that the gf felt fear - she was just fed up with the contact

Do we label someone a harasser three days after a relationship ends when none of us know the full details?

The people who harassed me didn't stop when I asked them to. They didn't stop when I blocked them on social media.

If this man refuses to leave this girl alone going forward then people have every right to condemn him.

I just think sometimes people jump to the worst case scenario then add bits on. It doesn't just happen on this thread. It happens all over

The OP posted for advice and she's not been back. Probably because she's seen her son be painted in the worst possible light - when she knows more about the situation and the relationship than any of us do

The OP also stated in her first thread I'm sure that her son is now homeless - because it's her flat. I think anyone being dumped and homeless a week before Christmas might be upset and not be thinking straight

It was apparently all his fault too according to some posters because he didn't want to get engaged as fast as she did.

Both the threads have been gf good person and bf bad person on the whole. The blame has been placed squarely on him for the relationship breakdown.

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 13:08

WomenAreNotEmotionalSupportAnimals · 19/12/2025 13:05

I'm very sorry that that happened to you

As for the rest of your posts about this situation 🙄

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Thank you. I'm just giving my opinion. People certainly don't need to agree with me.

WomenAreNotEmotionalSupportAnimals · 19/12/2025 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nevernonono · 19/12/2025 13:25

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 10:55

No we don't. But there's always someone here to pop up with the worst version of what might have happened isn't there

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And there is always the blinkered that make out “it’s not to bad”, when a woman is forced to block the “begging and pleading” ex!

Nip that shit in the bud before it escalates!

What on earth makes you think it was “only” one day (which is a day too long).

Nevernonono · 19/12/2025 13:31

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 11:09

She could have blocked him sooner. None of us know what the dynamic of their relationship was. The OPs mum said he adored her. I think she knows better than people on here whether he cared for his gf or not than a bunch of people on here - myself included

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It’s almost like you’re victim blaming…

Hankunamatata · 19/12/2025 13:33

OneGreenPoster · 16/12/2025 21:31

He is a brilliant dad, but he is very blunt at times.
Telling your son "you should've got your arse into gear if you wanted her that much" Isn't great when he's newly heartbroken
I think he needs some sympathy.

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No he is being utterly truthful and your son needed to hear it

InterIgnis · 19/12/2025 13:44

She’s on holiday with friends and doesn’t want to be bothered during it. She’s blocked him so her phone isn’t constantly going off while she’s trying to enjoy Poland.

What is there, though, to talk about? She’s definitively ended the relationship, but he doesn’t want accept this and is instead trying to beg, plead and argue his way back into it. That shit gets old really quickly, and it’s not something she’s obliged to indulge.

I don’t doubt that he needs support with processing and coming to terms with this, but she’s not the person that’s going to provide that. However upset he is, he’s not entitled her to attention because he wants it.

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 13:49

Nevernonono · 19/12/2025 13:25

And there is always the blinkered that make out “it’s not to bad”, when a woman is forced to block the “begging and pleading” ex!

Nip that shit in the bud before it escalates!

What on earth makes you think it was “only” one day (which is a day too long).

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I'm not blinkered. The point that I have been trying to make is that none of us on here know the full story. Including you. The OP said in her first thread that he had texted her the following day asking for another chance

WomenAreNotEmotionalSupportAnimals · 19/12/2025 13:51

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 13:49

I'm not blinkered. The point that I have been trying to make is that none of us on here know the full story. Including you. The OP said in her first thread that he had texted her the following day asking for another chance

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I'm assuming you reported my post? I was genuinely asking if you were ok.

Your take on this situation is skewed, your boundaries are not great I'm afraid.

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 13:53

Nevernonono · 19/12/2025 13:31

It’s almost like you’re victim blaming…

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No I am not victim blaming. If she wants to block him she is entitled to do so. I am just not on board with some of the other stuff that's been posted about the OPs son. Like most threads everything grows arms and legs so he's apparently proposed at the Christmas do. He's a cock lodger. He's done inappropriate things

I honestly can't be arsed with the way people jump on you the minute you post an opinion that's not exactly the same as other people on here.

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 13:56

This thread is getting a tad personal in my view. Hopefully it will reach the 40 posts limit soon and close.

Nevernonono · 19/12/2025 13:58

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 13:49

I'm not blinkered. The point that I have been trying to make is that none of us on here know the full story. Including you. The OP said in her first thread that he had texted her the following day asking for another chance

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No we don’t! But based on what we do know it seems the begging and pleading was more than one day.

The OP stated he was blocked because of the begging and pleading, he’s bang out or order, that the only way to stop his behaviour was to block him.

No one should put up with that shit, even for one day.

The13thFairy · 19/12/2025 15:30

OneGreenPoster · 16/12/2025 21:31

He is a brilliant dad, but he is very blunt at times.
Telling your son "you should've got your arse into gear if you wanted her that much" Isn't great when he's newly heartbroken
I think he needs some sympathy.

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You are wrong. That is the right thing for his dad to have told him. His dad is a realist ~ I wish so much that his dad had somehow had more input to his son's upbringing than you did. Still: if wishes were horses . . .

Lunde · 19/12/2025 15:37

Well hopefully OP's DH got the DS moved out yesterday so it can all die down.

The13thFairy · 19/12/2025 15:41

As Priscilla Boye would say: He thought he was the prize.

Please check out her youtube channel.

Nevernonono · 19/12/2025 15:48

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 13:53

No I am not victim blaming. If she wants to block him she is entitled to do so. I am just not on board with some of the other stuff that's been posted about the OPs son. Like most threads everything grows arms and legs so he's apparently proposed at the Christmas do. He's a cock lodger. He's done inappropriate things

I honestly can't be arsed with the way people jump on you the minute you post an opinion that's not exactly the same as other people on here.

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Yeah he was a cock lodger, the GF sorted that out!

I chat be arsed with people victim blaming! And not reading what’s actually written.

Nevernonono · 19/12/2025 17:47

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 13:49

I'm not blinkered. The point that I have been trying to make is that none of us on here know the full story. Including you. The OP said in her first thread that he had texted her the following day asking for another chance

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And in subsequent posts he was blocked for “begging and pleading”, now do you really think that was for just one contact…. You’re being ridiculous!

Nevernonono · 19/12/2025 17:49

Nevernonono · 19/12/2025 17:47

And in subsequent posts he was blocked for “begging and pleading”, now do you really think that was for just one contact…. You’re being ridiculous!

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In fact she said

She's changed her mind because my son kept texting and calling her begging for another chance and she's said it's all a bit much

Which was more than one contact… he kept doing it after being told or being ignored!

Onleemoi · 19/12/2025 18:08

I’m not surprised he struggled to take no for an answer, his mum wanted to ring her and ‘talk some sense into her’ at one point.

anonacfr · 19/12/2025 18:59

OP's son sounds like he was really harassing her.
As per OP, his own dad told him to stop contacting her in any way, and the OP herself says it was 'a bit much'.
Understatement or what...

AbbaCadaBra · 19/12/2025 21:47

Caiti19 · 17/12/2025 23:28

I haven't read the full thread, but has it already been mentioned that she's most likely met someone else? It seems obvious to me that's what's happened here.

It wouldn’t surprise me if a much better prospect has come along and shown an interest. If this is the case, I wish them a wonderful 2026.

WomenAreNotEmotionalSupportAnimals · 19/12/2025 22:55

@OneGreenPoster I hope your son went with your DH today, and got his things moved out of the ex-GF's place?

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/12/2025 07:14

AbbaCadaBra · 19/12/2025 21:47

It wouldn’t surprise me if a much better prospect has come along and shown an interest. If this is the case, I wish them a wonderful 2026.

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Even if she had that's a perfectly valid reason to leave someone you aren't even engaged to who doesn't know how long they want to be with you for. Some posters are referring to it as 'having her head turned' as if she is doing something wrong.

AbbaCadaBra · 20/12/2025 08:27

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/12/2025 07:14

Even if she had that's a perfectly valid reason to leave someone you aren't even engaged to who doesn't know how long they want to be with you for. Some posters are referring to it as 'having her head turned' as if she is doing something wrong.

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It doesn’t sound to me that her head has been turned but that she probably realises that there are men out there who might see a future with her. It might be that she is seeing friends starting to make plans and being around some young men who have expressed the desire for that in their own future.