Utterly furious with DSIL. A rant!

[JessNic]

DSIL is in a ridiculously on off relationship which is toxic and needs to finish for both of their sakes.

Increasingly regularly, after a huge row she will end up at our house and we will have to handhold her until she’s ready to return to face her partner. They usually then make up, have a good few days and the cycle repeats.

On Saturday, she called my DH in tears and said her relationships over and could she stay at ours for the night. No problem - I set up our spare room. Note that it is myself, DH, DD4 and DS6.

Saturday night, she told us she was going out with her friends and we gave her a key to let herself in, and she assured us she wouldn’t be late or loud.

Anyway, we were woken by her making a racket when entering the house at about 1.30am Sunday morning. We then heard her making ‘shush’ noises which was strange. It was then clear she wasn’t alone. DH told me to be quiet and pretend we hadn’t heard her.

No less than 10 minutes later, I heard her making loud, exaggerated moaning noises (it was obvious what was going on). DH pretended he couldn’t hear anything and told me not to say a word.

Not long after the door went again (whoever it was left), and we heard her walk back upstairs.

I was incandescent at this point, how dare she bring a stranger into our home where our DC were sleeping. It could have been anyone.

I confronted her in the morning, in my anger I regrettably used some unwise language and she was really defensive, said it’s someone who works at her gym so not a ‘random’ person. DH tried to diffuse things but it fell on deaf ears, anyway she has refused to apologise and has been acting the guilty party to DH for what I called her.

I stand by that she was massively unreasonable to bring a stranger into our family home. AIBU?

I'm glad you pulled her on it OP.

No more handholding or overnight stays. Tell her to fuck off with her woes in future. So disrespectful.

You lost the moral high ground by calling her a slapper

Yeah that’s grim, bringing a hook up back to someone else’s house! Don’t feel bad, what you called her ain’t that bad. Made me laugh.

I can see OP isn't happy about that which is fair enough. It's her house.

Your DH is a wet blanket. Well done you on not letting someone disrespect your home. Good job at least one of you has the guts to do it!! I’d never be letting her stay in my home again.

Being a ‘slapper’ isn’t a real thing. It’s made-up misogynistic shite.

OBVIOUSLY the SIL shouldn’t have brought someone back to the OP’s home without asking. It’s beyond rude and presumptuous, especially when there are young kids sleeping in the house. But the issue is that she’s an obnoxious house guest, not that she’s a woman having sex on a casual basis.

It would have been totally fine for her to have a shag anywhere else but the OP’s house. She’s a spoilt brat and her brother is a limp lettuce, but nobody is ‘a slapper’.

Absolutely no one comes into my house without me being asked about it beforehand - tell her to fuck right off. Your DH needs to grow a pair

Slapper is tame for what would have come out of my mouth.

Man or women I don’t give a shit you bring a random hook up back to my home after I’ve been nice enough to host you to have loud sex id of been walking in mid moan telling them to get the fuck out my house as it isn’t a fucking whorehouse or brothel.

Sleazy disrespectful behaviour regardless of the gender.

She is a cheeky cow! I am laidback and I wouldn’t be putting up with that! Invite someone back your own house but not your brother’s! Why not go back to his?! I’m

You must have such low standards around what kind of behaviour you allow to surround children within their home if all you think is that it’s ’annoying’.

I don't know. I've not got small children. My lodger used to bring people back all the time and it was annoying. That's why I said it was.

Your lodger, I’m assuming, paid you rent for the room they inhabited and, as you said, there were no small children around. Having loud sex, in someone else’s home, with the possibility of waking their children up is so unbelievably scummy it’s insane.

Why would children need to hear have someone having sex?

Accurate.

You shouldn’t have called her a slapper, but you are correct to be livid. Had you called her a twat I’d have backed you all the way. However, you slut shamed her so now you lose the moral high ground. It’s a shame because you could have really had some fun up there. Commiserations!

She is deflecting massively by playing victim that you called her a slapper. Quite frankly I’d have done well to have remained that civil. She crossed a major line. No-one sane would bring a one-night stand to a family member’s home with small children. You were doing her a massive favour in giving her a place to stay. Her behaviour was shitty and she needs to be told.

No you're not in the wrong here
She should've known better
Rather than sulking immaturely as if she's the injured party
Anyways, know the solution?
She never darkens your doorstep again
Some people can't live without dramatics

So presuming her partner was still at her home she knew she was going to be shagging about and came to yours as she was too cheap to book a hotel. Classy.

Yanbu. Obvs. She doesn't get to stay again.

The cheeky bitch! I’d have chucked her out before she’d even got her knickers off!

So you slut shamed her? Frankly in her position I’d be pleased she’s looked elsewhere, it might end her poor relationship.

shes a cheater and disrespectful can you imagine a man doing this and people saying dont call him names!

your husband is a wet wipe aswell -has he always been like that

double post

Your sil is taking the piss

bring a chap back for sex is really not on - regardless, your home is not a knocking shop

but any talk of staying over again would be meet by me with a strong no

shes burnt that bridge

Why is "slapper" is so offensive? She should own it. If the behaviour is considered acceptable, why not the name?

I personally reserve the right to look down on people who have the same level of control of their genial dogs on heat have. And this applies to both sexes...

How's that? I'm so sick of virtuesignalling people calling everything misogynistic. I have called my brother a slapper (because he was at one point in his life).

OP shouldn't be excusing herself for the Sil dusrespecting her home.