My ex mother-in-law, whom I got on okay with, has recently reached out to me on WhatsApp, literally begging me to send her pictures of DD (7 years old). I have not spoken to her in over two years.
Her son and I officially separated in early 2022. He cheated and moved overseas (Europe) to be with the AP. He was and is living with his mum. He tried to make us homeless and left his job to avoid paying child maintenance (he worked for a UK company). He has made sure to remain jobless and is now only considering jobs in the UAE as it is a non-REMO country. He made the divorce process absolute hell. Went to court over finances, lied about everything.
Since the end of 2021, he has been largely absent from DD’s life because he lives abroad. However, whenever he reached out, I allowed contact. Whenever he visited (no more than twice a year for a few days and not specifically to see DD), I let him spend as much time with her as he wished.
We tried to set up a call schedule, but he refused. He bought her a phone so he could contact her, as according to him, I was in the way, yet he rarely did call/message. DD had to call him every time, and he wouldn’t answer. Messages would go unanswered for days, and he never tried to communicate unless DD initiated the conversation.
I eventually had to stop all phone contact with him because DD was extremely upset after his last visit. He stayed for 3 months, primarily due to court hearings, and then left again without even saying bye to her. I have sent a letter (in May this year) offering consistent contact since, but he has not responded.
DD and I went through a very difficult time over the years. She was very young, and it was extremely hard for her to understand why her dad did not make her a priority. It was incredibly painful for both of us.
Now, she wants absolutely nothing to do with him and has set a clear boundary both at home and at school: no one is allowed to bring up her dad in conversation, as she says it makes her feel angry and upset. She refuses to call him “Daddy” and instead refers to him as “that man.”
Anyway, his mum was very upset about the divorce and did not want it to happen. On the voice note, she said she misses us and that it is not her fault her son behaves the way he does. She went on to literally beg for pictures of DD. I sent her a couple of pictures, and DD sent a voice note saying hello, how are you etc. She replied crying, saying I had made her day.
I feel conflicted because him and his family have not bothered to ask how DD is for months and months, literally to the point where they would not have known whether she was alive or dead. And I feel a bit annoyed that he gets to see her and receive updates (through his mum) without even trying.
AIBU to send photos? Should I continue to send photos if she asks, or should I stop if it happens again in the future?