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AIBU?

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Original poster

To dump DP after what happened last night

284 replies

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:26

NC’d for this. There have been some minor flags around my DP’s drinking in the past but nothing like what happened last night.

DP was on his work do in town and I was expecting him home late. I got a call about 10pm as I was getting ready for bed and it was from his phone - but when I answered it wasn’t him. It was a colleague who told me I’d need to come and pick him up because taxi’s were refusing to take him because he was covered in sick.

I went to get him, he had to be helped into my car by two colleagues propping him up. He was smashed, had been drinking since 2 on an empty stomach and was an absolute mess with sick all down his jeans.

On the drive back he was barely making sense, he kept saying he wanted to have sex and was turned on. I got him in the house after telling him to take his clothes off in the porch and set up bedding on the sofa (I’ve got a spare room but it’s an office and no bed) and left him to go to sleep.

I heard a load of crashing two hours later, he had fallen over into my coffee table (it collapsed) when walking in the dark. He then told me he had not made it to the bathroom in time and had pissed in the corner of the living room. Bullshit because the bathroom is in the other direction.

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

I am 99% sure that didn’t happen but does anyone think there’s any chance that’s true? I’ve never known him to get that drunk.

OP posts:
Catwalking · 13/12/2025 15:59

Are you allowed to talk to his previous partner…. the mother of his children may have seen something similar? or even ask the kids?

PeopleTheyAintNoGood · 13/12/2025 16:00

Seriously op. You are in a relatively short term relationship and can send him packing.
Did his ex wife leave him because he is a drunk sex pest with no self control?

If he's not good enough for the mother of his children, why is he good enough for you?

Goodadvice1980 · 13/12/2025 16:00

No way I would’ve gone out OP & collected him. If he gets that drunk he’s on his own. You are not his mother.

He sounds gross. Is this how you want to spend your life?

Egglio · 13/12/2025 16:01

Oh it's not even your shared house?? Dump him, tell him to get the fuck out of your house and then tonight treat yourself like a queen, food you like, TV you like, drink you like and be happy that 2026 is going to be free of this twat. Oh and send him an invoice for cleaning and coffee table. You don't need this shit OP!

BillieWiper · 13/12/2025 16:02

Why have you posted this exact same thing about a week or two ago. So it was last night then as well was it?!

This must be fake as last one generated plenty of traffic.

Bamfram · 13/12/2025 16:03

Yes dump him.
That is a grim tale.
He sounds sleazy and actually disgusting.

You deserve better.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 13/12/2025 16:04

I’ve been in some right states in my time but I’ve never once thrown up all over myself, been refused a taxi, or pissed in the corner of a room.

He’s fucking grim. Surely you can do better.

WhereYouLeftIt · 13/12/2025 16:08

Oof. Drinks to excess and claims he was spiked rather than accept he has an issue around drinking. Pees in the corner like a weeks-old puppy and destroys furniture. Thinks this behaviour is so alluring that you will be gagging for it.

Give yourself an early Christmas present and get rid of this inadequate.

thepariscrimefiles · 13/12/2025 16:08

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 13/12/2025 16:04

I’ve been in some right states in my time but I’ve never once thrown up all over myself, been refused a taxi, or pissed in the corner of a room.

He’s fucking grim. Surely you can do better.

I agree. For some reason, even really pissed women don't tend to lose control of their bodily functions.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 13/12/2025 16:10

Be busy a lot until he pays for a new table and carpet cleaning, then dump him.

diddl · 13/12/2025 16:12

You should have taken him back to his own place to puke & piss in!

Louiseb85 · 13/12/2025 16:12

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:26

NC’d for this. There have been some minor flags around my DP’s drinking in the past but nothing like what happened last night.

DP was on his work do in town and I was expecting him home late. I got a call about 10pm as I was getting ready for bed and it was from his phone - but when I answered it wasn’t him. It was a colleague who told me I’d need to come and pick him up because taxi’s were refusing to take him because he was covered in sick.

I went to get him, he had to be helped into my car by two colleagues propping him up. He was smashed, had been drinking since 2 on an empty stomach and was an absolute mess with sick all down his jeans.

On the drive back he was barely making sense, he kept saying he wanted to have sex and was turned on. I got him in the house after telling him to take his clothes off in the porch and set up bedding on the sofa (I’ve got a spare room but it’s an office and no bed) and left him to go to sleep.

I heard a load of crashing two hours later, he had fallen over into my coffee table (it collapsed) when walking in the dark. He then told me he had not made it to the bathroom in time and had pissed in the corner of the living room. Bullshit because the bathroom is in the other direction.

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

I am 99% sure that didn’t happen but does anyone think there’s any chance that’s true? I’ve never known him to get that drunk.

That would give me the ick big time. Make him pay for damages and clean up then put him in the bin

Sorry meant to quote op

Happyjoe · 13/12/2025 16:13

Not the blind drunkness that is an issue if happens rarely, it's his lack of apology and the nasty about not sleeping with him. What awful behaviour and attitude to have, my goodness.

And... even had you wanted to, someone covered in sick, stinking and pissing in the room is really not a turn on ffs.

MySilentLions · 13/12/2025 16:13

muggart · 13/12/2025 15:30

no, no way would i end an otherwise happy marriage because my DH had too much to drink as a one off. what an overreaction.

He’s a DP not a DH.

Dweetfidilove · 13/12/2025 16:16

Picking up my lover who's covered in his own drunken sick always gets me going 🙄. Yuck!

Surely you've seen enough to throw this one back, OP.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 13/12/2025 16:17

My now exH was like this. I thought it would get better, but he got worse. I divorced him. I now have a real aversion to drinkers. And drunk people are boring as fuck.

Your DPs attitude after that is appalling, and so is the state he got into. If it's not the first time, then I would be having a hard think.

ChristmasinBrighton · 13/12/2025 16:17

I would send him home and take his key. Revolting behaviour.

springintoaction2 · 13/12/2025 16:17

muggart · 13/12/2025 15:30

no, no way would i end an otherwise happy marriage because my DH had too much to drink as a one off. what an overreaction.

My husband has had too much to drink on occasion - but not on the scale the OP has described. Never in 27 years of marriage.

She is not over reacting 🙄

AInightingale · 13/12/2025 16:19

Bet his ex wife/partner would have some interesting tales to tell too. If you don't live together, you have no idea of the extent of his drinking.

Cabinqueen · 13/12/2025 16:19

diddl · 13/12/2025 16:12

You should have taken him back to his own place to puke & piss in!

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. However I completely agree... Lesson learned I think.

MonGrainDeSel · 13/12/2025 16:19

When someone I know was spiked they could not remember a single thing that happened from the point the drug took effect until the following morning. Does he know what happened last night?

FrivolousKitchenRollUse · 13/12/2025 16:20

I think combining the facts that you don't live together and have no kids with the fact this isn't a first offence you'd be more than entitled to end it. Sounds like he has a problem with not knowing when he's had enough and more importantly no plans to address it.

krusovice · 13/12/2025 16:23

When you say pestering for sex was it relentless badgering or drunken rambling - did he take no for an answer or argue/strop about it? That would influence me. The drunken behaviour I could excuse with annoyance, but the pissing on the floor I'd be furious with so would depend how repentant and mortified he was to be honest. And the spiking concern may be genuine in terms of him not understanding how he could be so drunk as to behave like that rather than an out and out lie? Only you know him well enough to suggest if it's and underhand tactic or he really thinks it happened.

ThisOldThang · 13/12/2025 16:26

thepariscrimefiles · 13/12/2025 16:08

I agree. For some reason, even really pissed women don't tend to lose control of their bodily functions.

Show quote history

I know a woman that had to be picked up by her husband, with their 6 year old twins in the car, from a bus stop where she'd pissed herself.

Eudaimonia11 · 13/12/2025 16:27

I’d be too embarrassed by him to stay with him after that. He humiliated himself in front of work colleagues, it shows he has no boundaries or self respect at all. Sure, they all had too much to drink but it sounds like the others were at least in control of their bodily functions. I bet they all feel sorry for you being in a relationship with a man who gets himself into such a shocking state. A grown man vomiting down himself from drinking, he’s like a teenager after their first ever night out. It’s so cringe!

Make him paint your piss stained wall and get him to order your coffee table. As soon as that’s delivered, tell him you can’t be with him anymore as he’s too embarrassing.

You’ve only been with him 2 years, better to get rid of him now and then start dating in the new year.

I am harsh but come on, he’s a grown man! Who does that?! And then all the pressuring you for sex just makes me want to throw up. He’s gross! Get a different one, a sexy man who isn’t going to show himself or you up.

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