I don’t want to parent this weekend

[selfpityingnonsense]

Or over Christmas

or in the new year

or ever

I am sick of the noise; the whinging, whining, screaming, fighting and demands. I’m sick of the house being a mess, I’m sick of nothing ever being good enough and giving my all 24/7 and getting absolutely nothing back in return.

and I know I’m being unreasonable and don’t really care. I just wish I could walk: no motivation at all just now.

Oh no! Sounds like you’ve been having a tough time. How old are the kids? Do you have other support?

Can you get away for a bit? Even a few hours?
kids are monsters. I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time.

Oh no, how old are they? When mine were little I felt like this a lot!

12 & 14 now and absolutely glorious, this won’t be your life forever.

Thanks. I’m just absolutely sick of them.

They are five and two. I can’t get away … and the weekends at the moment are crammed full (I know, I don’t have to but it’s not like the alternative is chilling at home with a book!)

My two year old is just … horrible at the moment. She seems to communicate in this horrible pained whine that sounds like a wounded sheep or goat or something. Nothing is good enough. My five year old is moody and destructive. They fight and bounce off one another.

Sounds depressing! Not fun for you. Not fun for the people you live with.

Get them out loads. Weather pretty decent this weekend.

single parent?

I really hope not @TokyoSushi

It is really hard, isnt it? Can you go for a walk with a friend? A swim? A movie at the cinema?
i find having a big cuddle with my kids kind of “fills my cup” and i can tolerate a bit more. Also, on some days my standards are very low! Beans on toast? Plain pasta? Check!

I feel you op! Mine are 5 and 2 as well. 2 year old doesn’t sleep and has destroyed us.

I feel life now is just trying to accept we have ruined everything just take 1 day at a time. It’s shit.

@Iocanepowder i am increasingly feeling like I just need to accept life is over. Shit, isn’t it?

@selfpityingnonsense yeah or when we get some life back we’ll be going through menopause or some other shit.

We’re not even brave enough to try and taking them on holiday. I wish we had something to look forward to, i find that helps.

I genuinely wonder why people enjoy parenting.

Up at 5:30 again with my 1 and 5 year old - I feel you op, as this week has been tough.

but I genuinely believe things will improve as they get older. They won’t be this small forever and in ten years we’ll all still be in bed.

do you work? I’m only part time but when I am at overwhelmed, the promise of a day with an actual lunch break helps.

Honestly, though they’re delightful in many ways, small kids take so much out of you! Mine are 11 & 13 now and whilst I still do a lot for them, they do a lot for themselves.

Give yourself as many easy wins as you can this weekend. Let them have a bit too much screen time, feed them something you know they’ll eat etc.

And be kind to yourself!

I had 2 under 2 and it was bleak in those early years. Absolutely relentless. I think once the youngest is 4 and at school life will start to look completely different. Its hard as we know we need to wear them out, but that wears us out too!! I find going round with a bin bag and loud tunes on really helps.

I often wonder if i’m not the only one on mumsnet at this time because i’m up with the kids but just want to have a conversation with an actual adult.

Are you a single parent?

if you have a co-parent you could try what we do at the weekend for the exact reasons you have outlined:
Saturday morning - one parent takes both kids out while the other gets some peace and quiet
Saturday afternoon - we divide and conquer, one parent per child doing separate things
sunday morning - the other parent takes the kids out to return the favour
Sunday afternoon- “family time” aka squabbles and ingratitude. It is helpful if we can go somewhere they love and can run off together like soft play or the petting farm.

I sympathise, mine are a year ahead of yours and it’s getting very slightly easier.

Remember the mantra.... "this too shall pass."

It DOES get better and when they're 16 and 13, you'll wish they were 5 and 2!!

I’m part time as well. It’s slightly easier in the week as one child is at school. I feel awful saying this but my two year old is horrible at the moment … she wasn’t always and I’m hoping in the futures she’ll get back to the lovely personality she had as a baby but right now is awful and I’m struggling to find enjoyable things for us. I’m hoping it’s very temporary but the more it goes on the less patience I have for it.

With kindness, it sounds like you need more support, perhaps more time out or people to vent to? However your children are little, they are just being kids, they aren't at an age to consider your feelings yet, and they are not 'monsters' as someone else said.
Parenting is bloody hard at times i get it, but you do sound very negative about them and even if you don't tell them outright the things you've said on here, your body language etc will likely convey it. If they feel a disconnection from you they will feel insecure, and their behaviour and whining will be worse.
I think you need to get to the bottom of the reasons why you are feeling so overwhelmed and at your wits end with parenting and seek help for that.
At their age, unless they have SEN or trauma, kids tend to feed off parents alot with their moods and behaviours, so if you can begin to feel more positive, then they probably will too.
As hard as it is when you're frustrated with them, affection will go a long way too.Little children need high levels of emotional warmth.

I’m actually on a countdown for her turning three!

I’m venting on a thread that says I don’t want to parent … of course it’s going to be negative. It’s a reflection of how I’m feeling. I am struggling but it’s not like I can nip to the pharmacy and ask for ‘extra support please!’ - you don’t need me to explain that’s not how it works.

It is hard! Mine are 4 and 6, pretty sure DD6 has ADHD and both of them are absolutely non stop from the minute they wake up until they fall asleep. The Christmas excitement is ramping up as well so that doesn't help.
I've found the only thing that helps is getting myself to bed at a reasonably early time. Currently enjoying a coffee downstairs on my own and a scroll on MN while they are still asleep, which is highly unusual for them. No words of advice, but solidarity 💪
Apparently it does get easier at some point!

Just be careful, kids can pick up on negative feelings and play up even more. Do you not get the free 15 hours for the 2 year old yet?

I also have kids age 5 and 2 and I ABSOLUTELY hear you. My watch is also really helpfully telling me that I'm consistently exhausted, too.

My strategy if it's just me is to get out somewhere where they can run around/burn off energy, then, when they're tired enough to sit still, pop on film and be a sofa vegetable.

Have you got someone who can Tag in for a few hours so you can just do absolutely nothing for a bit to recharge?

Yes, but it’s not on at the weekend funnily enough.

Look, I don’t want to sound like a dick here and as you’ll see from my OP and my chosen name I know I’m not in a good place. But two days in a shit job and my DD at nursery isn’t actually the solution to all life’s problems.

Obviously I don’t want them to feel like I resent them or as if I don’t want them or anything but right now I could happily walk out and not come back.

Don’t worry op i get it.

We are trying everything we can and we are allowed to feel like shit when things don’t work.

Our 2 year old doesn’t sleep. We are beyond exhausted. Nothing helps. Including HV and sleep consultant. But apparently we are just supposed to be really positive.

My 5 year old went through a year of hitting me 50 times a day when he was 3. Turned out his ears were blocked so he was fustrated but until i could find someone to diagnose it and sort it privately, i just had to put up with it.