I don’t want to parent this weekend

[selfpityingnonsense]

Or over Christmas

or in the new year

or ever

I am sick of the noise; the whinging, whining, screaming, fighting and demands. I’m sick of the house being a mess, I’m sick of nothing ever being good enough and giving my all 24/7 and getting absolutely nothing back in return.

and I know I’m being unreasonable and don’t really care. I just wish I could walk: no motivation at all just now.

I won’t post a photo of how beautiful here!

Before I had kids I never could see how women could walk away from their kids. There were times when I thought I could just disappear, but obviously never did. I do understand how you feel OP but we all know you will stay. It does get better and I’m sure you love your kids to bits…most of the time! Hang on in there!

Ha!! I'm hiding in the bathroom with a coffee and a mince pie because I feel exactly like that today. My 3 y/o is lovely, bubbly and cute. But for about an hour or two every day she is such a little ball of attitude I just want to run away .... So I did and I can hear her dad trying to explain why she can't climb the Christmas tree for real, only pretend.

Sending strength and love! 🎄🎁

Is there any family who can help like grandparents? I feel for you, i get 0 support and it can be relentless, cried many times with the overwhelm. So hard then add in tantrums, sickness, working eapecially if its crap, continuous washing and the unexpected. Things which helped if you can, make sure you are applying for all the benefits, maybe try to put the youngest in a nursery extra and have the full day to yourself, this helped me so much, I used to just come home and watch films on my own in peace. Also booking into a spa for a few hours helped me (use a babysitter). I tried to have a candle lit bath when the children were asleep to help with relaxation and felt like I was on holiday. It is tough, I remember my friend saying how hard it is but she had family help out each week and the other grandparents take the children for a week! I felt like saying shut up, you have no idea 😂 some people are lucky to have family help them.

YANBU, sounds like you need some time alone, in the dark, in total silence 😅 This is a normal stress reaction, it doesn't make you a bad mum. First of all, cancel what you can from the upcoming weekends, that's the first kindness to yourself/survival action. Secondly, if you have family or friends nearby ask them to take the kids for a day (or more if possible), or organise playdates for them elsewhere. Spend half a day doing some of the worst bits of the house, and spend the second half under the duvet in the dark, de-sensitising, or whatever you like to chill out. It will help!

I feel your pain, OP. 2.5yo and 6yo here. 6yo just had her bday and has matured quite a bit since summer, which makes a big difference. But they argue and physically fight constantly. Extremely wearing. DS 2 is actually fairly easy going but he's starting to assert himself more which doesn't go down well with DD. It will get easier but it's really relentless right now.

This is sad to read, yo are clearly struggling. Can you book a day of annual leave when your toddler is at nursery and your son at school and go do something for you, that helps you get away from you “mum” identity- a massage, a trip to a grown up place doing something you enjoy like some gardens, art gallery etc, a craft class etc etc

also speak to your health visitor about ho you are feeling they may be able or signpost you to support that will help

It is Kent though, price to pay for everything

Yanbu. Sometimes we feel totally burnt out especially wen someone/s are depending on us. It makes for more upset as we'd just like to be a tortoise and do a shell retreat!

Be kind to yourself. Cut as much as you can, take steps back and try to not feel the need to do it all. That's a major source of burn out. If no one gets out of pjs tomorrow, then it's pj, takeaway and chill day.

Pricey yes
but so very worth it

I found the the loop ear plugs tool the edge off with whining just a bit.
And being outside a lot - which I know is difficult in the summer.
Swimming is good for tiring them out.
And I was really very strict about behavior and consequences. It paid off as they got older as I had done the work earlier. Ooh a very few choices. It just caused chaos and wining.
But sympathies. It’s so so hard sometimes

All I can offer you is solidarity. I used to lock myself in the bathroom with my iPad and cry. Toddlers can be completely ridiculous and unrelenting.

DD is now an adult and delightful. She’s cooking a butternut squash Dahl tonight and heading to uni in September. I’m quite glad I didn’t release her into the wild when she was three, as I was tempted to.

😂 pricey wasn’t the word that came into my head!

Oh it’s beautiful. And no rain rain rain, which must be so depressing

oh and 45 mins from my beloved London

Try to take it easy and not to give your 100% this time. You’re human and it’s tough with two young kids.

I think it’s just that we had less expectations of self fulfilment then. We accepted parenthood would have issues, through the stages. . 😊

I have huge sympathy for you OP. I don't have any children (by choice) and the evenings and weekends are my own. I listen to my friends and it seems an endless drudge of screaming, crying, whinging, demanding children. And that's before you add in the complexities of ADHD, autism, ODD... it sounds unrelenting and no end in sight. Sometimes I find my weekends drag a little or are a little quiet but I wouldn't swap it for parenthood.

You have legit reasons to feel the way you do if that helps. My husband is always like I can't wait for Christmas to be off with the kids and I'm like WHAT. It's going to be hell 😂😂 mine are 4 and 2

My four year old makes seagull noises at random for hours on end. The other two just fight, always whacking each other and my youngest bites them randomly. If I take them to the park it's just the same but outside the house so more embarrassing and less control. I literally had to walk about 500 metres away from my youngest (it was a big field) to get him to come home today after a meltdown where he kicked me with muddy shoes. Yep, it is what it is. Hopefully they'll give a shit when I'm old and they've moved out. I love them to pieces but I can't always have the enthusiasm of a newly qualified primary school teacher.

Do you have a partner? Any support? Sounds like you really could do with some time out to recharge

I really needed to read this thread after last night, so thank you OP.

Until 6 weeks ago I loved parenting, but then my eldest turned 5 and is now an arsehole. I went to bed really sad last night because she makes life unnecessarily hard and I don’t really like her sometimes.

The younger ones are 3 + 1 and still lovely; but I feel a bit panicked now that they are all going to turn into arseholes at age 5 and stay that way.

This thread has given me hope.

Awww thanks for that valuable contribution, I’m sure OP is grateful for your input

Solidarity OP, toddlers can be absolutely relentless and it will get better.

Is there anyone - family, a babysitter - who could give you a few hours? You need a reset, you’ll be OK with a bit of time to yourself regularly. Can you book a day off work when they’re in childcare?

Get them on the list for a really great Beavers colony now, and one day they will get to go on camp at a very reasonable cost, leaving you home alone! I’m not even kidding! My 13 year old was away for a week last summer having an amazing time, and the same next summer. In a few weeks my eldest two will both be away for two nights. Even my six year old will get a 1 night camp in the summer.

It does get easier. Mine are 10 and 8 now. I remember when they were 4 and 2 and my 2yo was doing that whine thing - it's like they are ready to start communicating via speech but haven't quite mastered how to do words yet, so you get this loud, persistent whine. Both my kids did it but my son's whine went right through me!!! I remember it well! Before you know it, he'll be having full-blown articulate conversations with you about Minecraft, aged 8, and you will be feeling much better. For now - focus on how cute they are when they are asleep! xxx

I feel you OP, and I only have the one DC! Something about this time of year seems to make things especially hard as well.

You're not unreasonable, it is hard. Sending solidarity.