Page 2 | To not apologise to sibling

Bearingsbear20 · 2025-12-10T11:09:25+00:00

It's another inheritance one! My sibling and I had a verbal agreement that I would take DF's whole estate when he died (as I'm the only one named in his will, sibling isn't as they don't get on, they keep saying he was abusive when they were a child etc. which is stupid as he's pleasant now) and my sibling would take DM's. DM died earlier this year somewhat unexpectedly and didn't leave any legal will. We then found a draft will naming sibling as taking the bulk of the estate and leaving me a small remainder. This tallies with what DM told me i would be left, as she phoned me up before she died and told me she was trying to 'make it fair' between us. Initially I told sibling to sort out all the administrative stuff for DM's estate as I was about to have my first DC and was too busy to take it on. Sibling initially was communicative, let me know what was happening. Involved me in the funeral etc. After a few weeks I told sibling I wanted 50% of mum's estate as per the law since there was no valid will and that i would buy sibling out of their share of the house. Sibling then mostly stopped talking to me, I couldn't find out what was happening with the estate etc. and we argued several times. Sibling was insisting I was doing the wrong thing for pushing for my 50% and they kept mentioning DF's will, which is unreasonable IMO and I find it sad they are talking about this before he's even passed. Sibling wanted to put DM's house up for auction and said they'd be in touch when the estate admin was sorted and would follow the intestacy rules. Then they started selling off assets e.g. the car without consulting me. I went and got a solicitor to send a letter to my sibling as I wasn't getting any detail about the estate and they were refusing to have me buy out 50% of their share of the house. The solicitor sent a few letters and eventually now sibling has agreed I can buy out their share. They're now not talking to me though and have refused to see me over Christmas etc. until I 'acknowledge what I've done'. I don't see that I've done anything wrong, I've just pushed for my legal inheritance, and sibling cut contact first. So AIBU?

NoXmasPudding · 10/12/2025 11:23

Legally right. Morally wrong.
Just own it OP and enjoy the money.

Pleasegodgotosleep · 10/12/2025 11:23

Is this a reverse?

If not, because the paperwork isnt correct you're grabbing everything you can despite what you previously agreed and despite knowing your own mother's wishes?

You are greedy and morally corrupt and you know it. No wonder your sibling wants nothing to do with you.

UrbanFan · 10/12/2025 11:24

Wow what a greedy sibling you are.

Very unreasonable since you had an agreement. Do you intend to share your father's estate when the time comes? I doubt that very much.

Glad you not a part of my family.

Solentsolo · 10/12/2025 11:24

You’d have to be fairly immoral to be able to enjoy the money though wouldn’t you. If I was your sibling I’d be happily NC for life if you went through with this.

JustSawJohnny · 10/12/2025 11:25

Bearingsbear20 · 10/12/2025 11:14

Yes @Solentsolo because I am following the intestacy rules, the draft will/ verbal agreement isn't valid.

It's still what you agreed to.

You did the 180. You asked her to take care of everything then started whining when she sold things. You are 100% the AH here.

I kinda hope you get dealt some karmic justice with Dad's will.

JustSawJohnny · 10/12/2025 11:26

Solentsolo · 10/12/2025 11:24

You’d have to be fairly immoral to be able to enjoy the money though wouldn’t you. If I was your sibling I’d be happily NC for life if you went through with this.

Agree.

OP has shown herself for what she is with this attitude.

If I were the DS I'd cut her off in a second.

StitchHappens · 10/12/2025 11:26

Presumably you will be happy when your sibling contests your father's will and gets half then??

sprigatito · 10/12/2025 11:26

If I were your sibling, I wouldn’t want your apology, or any other form of contact with you. You’ve made a conscious decision to prioritise money over relationships; you’ve got the money, so now you need to live with the resultant loss of the relationship.

Original poster

Bearingsbear20 · 10/12/2025 11:26

I'm surprised people are ignoring the law here. With no valid will, the estate is split 50/50. Sibling knew this but chose to ignore me while they carried on with the administration. Without the solicitors intervening they may have sold off the house at too low a price for us both.

Anyway re: DF. He used to drink a lot, swear etc! He treated us all badly. But sibling got a good job and moved away for a few years. When they moved back, DF told sibling that they weren't in his will because I'd helped him out more. Now sibling is very bitter over this, keeps going on about therapy etc. The rest of the family keep saying they need to get over it

OP posts:

Velvian · 10/12/2025 11:27

You are unreasonable on 2 fronts @Bearingsbear20 . First in going against your mum's wishes, secondly in your dismissal of your siblings claims that your DF abused them. Of course they are not going to want a close relationship if he was abusive (or if they consider that he was).

It also doesn't necessarily follow that they would be left out of his Will.

There would be an argument to have both agreed on 50/50 from both parents, but that ship has sailed and you have wasted both of your money on legal fees.

smashinghope · 10/12/2025 11:27

So you had an agreement that you would take fathers estate and she would take mothers estate....

And now mother has went first, your going back on this agreement and wanting half....but still expect your sister to not get any of her fathers estate.

If ive read this right you are being massivley unreasonable and actually a horrible horibble person.

ComfortFoodCafe · 10/12/2025 11:28

Bearingsbear20 · 10/12/2025 11:26

I'm surprised people are ignoring the law here. With no valid will, the estate is split 50/50. Sibling knew this but chose to ignore me while they carried on with the administration. Without the solicitors intervening they may have sold off the house at too low a price for us both.

Anyway re: DF. He used to drink a lot, swear etc! He treated us all badly. But sibling got a good job and moved away for a few years. When they moved back, DF told sibling that they weren't in his will because I'd helped him out more. Now sibling is very bitter over this, keeps going on about therapy etc. The rest of the family keep saying they need to get over it

Nobodies ignoring the law - just shocked at your lack of morals and care for anyone else but yourself. You are a extremely self centered and greedy person, enjoy that money op because you won’t have anyone around you that actually cares about you. Hope it fills that hole.

TheMorgenmuffel · 10/12/2025 11:28

Bearingsbear20 · 10/12/2025 11:18

I sought legal advice and they confirmed I should follow the legal process i.e. claim um rightful 50%.

For background, sibling hasn't bothered with DF for months. They never visit anymore and is spreading nasty lies about his 'abuse'. Whereas I see him regularly, help out with his care etc.

Which is why you will get 100% of his estate, right?

You are being greedy.

You don't have to follow what you are legally entitled to. You could choose to honour the agreement made. But no. You'd prefer all the cash you can get.

This is going to turn out to be a tedious, manipulative bullshit reverse, isnt it?

Sazzles169 · 10/12/2025 11:28

Info: are you happy to let sibling get 50% of your DF estate if you go through with this? And if so, have you communicated this?

If not, I cant believe how you cannot see that you are being unreasonable. You are going back on an agreement. Granted, it is verbal and has no legal basis, but you must have known this would spoil your sibling relationship.

Velvian · 10/12/2025 11:28

Bearingsbear20 · 10/12/2025 11:26

I'm surprised people are ignoring the law here. With no valid will, the estate is split 50/50. Sibling knew this but chose to ignore me while they carried on with the administration. Without the solicitors intervening they may have sold off the house at too low a price for us both.

Anyway re: DF. He used to drink a lot, swear etc! He treated us all badly. But sibling got a good job and moved away for a few years. When they moved back, DF told sibling that they weren't in his will because I'd helped him out more. Now sibling is very bitter over this, keeps going on about therapy etc. The rest of the family keep saying they need to get over it

No one is ignoring the law @Bearingsbear20 . You will end up getting what you legally entitled to, but it is morally dubious at best.

ProfMummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 10/12/2025 11:29

You're going to get your arse handed to you OP, and rightly so unless you cough up 50% of your dad's estate. Sheer greed. I genuinely hope this is a reverse, I don't see how anyone would have the gall to do this, and then post it on AIBU of all places!!

Solentsolo · 10/12/2025 11:29

What do you think your mothers wishes were OP?

Velvian · 10/12/2025 11:29

Bearingsbear20 · 10/12/2025 11:26

I'm surprised people are ignoring the law here. With no valid will, the estate is split 50/50. Sibling knew this but chose to ignore me while they carried on with the administration. Without the solicitors intervening they may have sold off the house at too low a price for us both.

Anyway re: DF. He used to drink a lot, swear etc! He treated us all badly. But sibling got a good job and moved away for a few years. When they moved back, DF told sibling that they weren't in his will because I'd helped him out more. Now sibling is very bitter over this, keeps going on about therapy etc. The rest of the family keep saying they need to get over it

I'm not surprised they are very bitter about it!

TheCosyViewer · 10/12/2025 11:29

You’re coming across as a nasty, greedy person OP. It may have been the legal advice that without a Will you’re entitled to 50% of your Mum’s Estate but I’m sure you went looking for that advice. Did you also ask what steps you could take to decline your 50% inheritance with it all going to your sister???

Your Mum explained her wishes to you, did she not ? How do you think she’d feel, knowing you had completely ignored them?

Will you be suggesting to your Dad that he re-writes his Will leaving everything equally to you and your sister.

Your sister is the honourable person here, she could decide to cosy up to her Dad now to be mentioned equally in his Will but fair play to her, it seems she’s not going to do that.

Your sister is quite right to have nothing more to do with you.

youalright · 10/12/2025 11:29

Wow your mum will be looking down on you and be so ashamed. Why would you think you getting 150% and your sister getting 50% would be ok.

Original poster

Bearingsbear20 · 10/12/2025 11:30

@Solentsolo DM wasn't well when she made her draft will reducing my share. She was well known to fall out with people

OP posts:

Pleasegodgotosleep · 10/12/2025 11:30

Bearingsbear20 · 10/12/2025 11:26

I'm surprised people are ignoring the law here. With no valid will, the estate is split 50/50. Sibling knew this but chose to ignore me while they carried on with the administration. Without the solicitors intervening they may have sold off the house at too low a price for us both.

Anyway re: DF. He used to drink a lot, swear etc! He treated us all badly. But sibling got a good job and moved away for a few years. When they moved back, DF told sibling that they weren't in his will because I'd helped him out more. Now sibling is very bitter over this, keeps going on about therapy etc. The rest of the family keep saying they need to get over it

It doesnt morally matter what the law ssys. You KNOW your mothers wishes based on the draft will and you KNOW what you had previously agreed.

You are a greedy back stabber who is letting their mother down. Shame on you.

TheCosyViewer · 10/12/2025 11:31

Bearingsbear20 · 10/12/2025 11:30

@Solentsolo DM wasn't well when she made her draft will reducing my share. She was well known to fall out with people

A trait you’ve inherited by the sounds of it.

SharpLemonShark · 10/12/2025 11:32

You’re surprised people are ignoring the law?? The law doesn’t force you to take 50%, you’re choosing to because you can!

I’m thinking this has to be a reverse or a total wind up, surely nobody is this dense or lacking in self awareness 🙄.

Bearbookagainandagain · 10/12/2025 11:32

Good for you to put your legal rights forward, but that doesn't make it morally right. You seemed to agree with this, and understand it was your mother's wishes, until greed took over.

There is no law forcing you to take that money, it's entirely your choice. Not sure why you expect your sibling to be fine with it and talk to you. I wouldn't either.