To not apologise to sibling

[Bearingsbear20]

It's another inheritance one!

My sibling and I had a verbal agreement that I would take DF's whole estate when he died (as I'm the only one named in his will, sibling isn't as they don't get on, they keep saying he was abusive when they were a child etc. which is stupid as he's pleasant now) and my sibling would take DM's.

DM died earlier this year somewhat unexpectedly and didn't leave any legal will. We then found a draft will naming sibling as taking the bulk of the estate and leaving me a small remainder. This tallies with what DM told me i would be left, as she phoned me up before she died and told me she was trying to 'make it fair' between us.

Initially I told sibling to sort out all the administrative stuff for DM's estate as I was about to have my first DC and was too busy to take it on. Sibling initially was communicative, let me know what was happening. Involved me in the funeral etc.

After a few weeks I told sibling I wanted 50% of mum's estate as per the law since there was no valid will and that i would buy sibling out of their share of the house. Sibling then mostly stopped talking to me, I couldn't find out what was happening with the estate etc. and we argued several times. Sibling was insisting I was doing the wrong thing for pushing for my 50% and they kept mentioning DF's will, which is unreasonable IMO and I find it sad they are talking about this before he's even passed. Sibling wanted to put DM's house up for auction and said they'd be in touch when the estate admin was sorted and would follow the intestacy rules. Then they started selling off assets e.g. the car without consulting me.

I went and got a solicitor to send a letter to my sibling as I wasn't getting any detail about the estate and they were refusing to have me buy out 50% of their share of the house. The solicitor sent a few letters and eventually now sibling has agreed I can buy out their share.

They're now not talking to me though and have refused to see me over Christmas etc. until I 'acknowledge what I've done'. I don't see that I've done anything wrong, I've just pushed for my legal inheritance, and sibling cut contact first. So AIBU?

We have to follow the law

Bollocks you do, you're only saying this because it suits you down to the ground, no one checks OP and you know it, you're being a nasty grabby cow, I bet if the boot was on the other foot you'd be squealing like a pig about "your share"

OP blames her older sister for her parents divorce, even as an adult.
Sister suffered abuse from father. OP was younger, maybe sheilded from it, or not remembering as clearly, or cant face it. Now belittled sisters experiences.
Has no deep tie to sister, nor her DM (will happily go against her wishes).

I imagine OP is pretty damaged by her childhood, given her actions now.

Obviously OP, what you are doing is immoral and abhorrent. But perhaps you need to do some work on unpacking your childhood & family relationships now.

You are truly awful. How do you sleep at night?

I agree that there is not link between both the parents estates as they were separated for a long time.
The draft will makes it morally blurry but it could be argued that if OP’s mum really wanted her whole estate to go to the sibling she would have finalised the will so I’m not sure if I would forfeit my 50% share in her position.

@Bearingsbear20you say your family (bar sibling) agrees with you.

Who is that exactly? You and your father? Maybe your partner/spouse?

If so that’s hardly an indication of righteousness, more that the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree and found a partner with the same lack of moral compass.

Do you realise that you are also potentially shooting yourself in the foot here -aside from the loss of your sibling relationship?

They have no legal obligation to sell their share of your mothers house to you - especially knowing you intend to further fuck them over by flipping it?

They can put it on the market/auction and you’ll have to bid along with anyone else if you want it.

Alternatively they could veto any possible sales forcing you into costly court action to force a sale.

You are acting like you hold all the cards here, but you don’t.

I do hope you are making this up and having a good giggle out posters expense but for some reason (even though it sounds too malicious to be true) I’m not surprised that someone can be so callous when it comes to money.

Sounds like you had a verbal contract with your sister and you are reneging on it to get more $$

You've gone against your mums wishes and the agreement you had with your sister. I'd want nothing to do with you either, it's disgusting.

Can’t think why on earth that might be?

Another b-word, or possibly worse?

Not a bitch though…

Very true it does bring out the worst, but it does not tend to result in them so obviously and blatantly painting the indecency in such a calumnous fashion, and then claiming the high moral ground, although the real world outcome might be as described..

Worse, were it me, irrespective of gender (but then I’m Irish…)

I’m Scottish so there would be no holding us back 😆

If this is real, you sound like an awful person.

😜

Well, no, because it's not a thing you'd call a man, ffs. A guy would get called a lot worse on here, I can assure you of that...

Its people like you that keep my faith in humankind going.

I know me and my brother would both do the same.

Thanks for posting.

"I'm the only one named in his will, sibling isn't as they don't get on, they keep saying he was abusive when they were a child etc. which is stupid as he's pleasant now"

I'm still over here reeling about this comment, 28 pages of replies later. As someone who was abused by my mother constantly as a child/teen (in literally every single way an adult can abuse a child), I guarantee you that it makes NO DIFFERENCE to the abused person's trauma/pain if one's abuser is "pleasant" once they're elderly/older.

And - my sister was the golden child and I was the adopted gutter-scum scapegoat child, so while my mother was a complete a-hole to everyone, my sister did NOT get abused at all - so of course she thinks my mom hung the moon.

I have a feeling that you were your DF's "golden child", or at least FAR more favored than your sibling was. Just because you didn't get abused in the same way your sibling did (other than your dad being "unpleasant to everyone") just like my sister didn't get abused does NOT diminish or invalidate your sibling's abuse and how they feel about it. They do NOT have to now be okay with your DF simply because YOU think he's "pleasant now".

The fact that you can completely dismiss your sibling's childhood abuse as "stupid" because your DF is "pleasant now" (to YOU, apparently) is absolutely abhorrent and tells me everything I need to know about you.

Your glaringly obvious greed aside, you apparently completely lack basic empathy and sympathy.

Op not returning then 😂

No a wanker? Would that be acceptable? Or would you say it’s misandry?

My sibling and I had a verbal agreement that I would take DF's whole estate when he died ... and my sibling would take DM's.

The end. You are dishonouring your agreement. Why should she engage with you?

@Differentforgirls @HamptonPlace

Prick?
Asshole?

Those were the first two that came to mind.

You know what you have done is wrong or you wouldn't be here trying to justify your ugly, greedy behaviour.

My DD did the same. Her dad died without a will, and DD inherited a substantial amount of money, property, and investments, not millions, but enough to set her up for life if she is careful.

The first thing she asked when she found out how much his estate was worth and that it all went to her was, "So, who shares it out? Do I have to do that, or does the solicitor do it?"

She knew her dad didn't mean for it all to be hers, but he died young and very suddenly. Had he made a will, her sister, who was raised by DD2's dad since she was 10 months old would have received an equal share. DD was also of the opinion that if he'd known he would die young, others would have benefited, such as his sister, nephew and godchild.

The idea of keeping it all to herself never occurred to her. She shared it in the way she thought her dad would have done if he could.

I wish your sister saw this thread