£100 Christmas budget per teen, I feel awful

[ClypoClimb]

I have 2 DC, DD1 is 17 and DD2 is 15.
We don’t have any family support, we live in a small 2 bedroom house so they are still sharing a room, and tbh I feel like I always feel as though I’m just not doing enough for them. DD1 does have a part time job but it’s one day a week and she’s not making loads.

Anyway their dad had promised he’d contribute £200 per child to the Christmas budget; luckily they don’t need any big items like phones or laptops this year so I have budgeted £100 per child, on top of that. Well today their dad messaged saying he can no longer give anything.

DD1 has asked for a full size digital piano with semi weighted keys and a sustain pedal as she has been teaching herself and the keyboard they have right now is awful. I’ve looked on Amazon and they do seem to have some for £100-£120 but that would be either the entire budget or over budget. She’s also asked for some books which I think I’ll be able to get second hand, a skateboard and some beauty stuff that comes to about £50 total, so would have been fine on £300 but not fine on £100.
DD2 has asked for a vinyl record player, a Polaroid camera, some beauty stuff and a new pair of trainers (which alone quite expensive).

I feel really crappy and totally disengaged from Christmas now. Their dad doesn’t live locally and basically never sees them, so Christmas is all on me. I think for teens their lists were quite reasonable and now knowing I’ll hardly be able to get them anything has just upset me so much.

AIBU to feel like this?

Can you get money from any family members? His parents? Your parents? If not they are old enough for you to be honest with them. Get what you can afford and save up for the extra stuff.

We don’t have any family support, my parents have both passed away and I have no relationship with their father’s parents. I am also an only child so no siblings etc.

What do you mean by grabby? I never intended to offend anyone, I’m sorry if I did.

Maybe just explain to them and ask which thing they would love the most. A keyboard could also be found second hand, and probably a record player too.

Wtf?! The OP’s ex has let her and her children down. It is perfectly sensible to post here to vent.

OP, that’s really crap. I’d tell the girls the truth and ask them to review their lists.

EDITED TO REFLECT OP Sincere apologies - missed the bit where the extra money withdrawn! £100 is still not terrible . Really .

No I agree £300 per child is plenty but we no longer have £300 per child as their dad has let me down and is no longer contributing his £200 per child. So it will only be £100 per child.

Of course you haven't offended anyone. Ignore that poster. You're doing the best you can with the money you have 🥰

That’s nice but clearly misread the OP

Don't apologise to that poster. I don't even know who is supposed to be being 'grabby'. She's just being unpleasant and unkind.

Second hand pianos are common, even been offered 2 free digital pianos already this year (via work)

Read the thread. OO doesn't have £300, she has £100 per child because the father has let them all down and gone back on his word.

I’ve had a look on our local area selling pages and none in budget are showing up. We live very rural so don’t have the same access to second hand items as in more urban areas.

She doesn't have £300 per child though!

Tell them the truth and that you can now only afford £100.
They are old enough to understand.
You haven't let them down. Their dad has. So don't you feel bad for one second 🙂

You are doing amazing.

See what you can get secondhand. Ive got my daughter second hand books which is much cheaper than new. Ask on Facebook if anyone is willing to do any swaps for anything you may have that you dont need.

For music equipment, Ask local music charities and independent stores if there is any way they could help. Also use turn2us to see if there is any specific grants you could get.

Christmas is all on me too. And its tough because the pressure is entirely on you.

Are you able to give a rough location so we can share any local suggestions?

Could you ask which item they would prefer? Explain the tight budget, as dad can no longer add to it. You have enough for perhaps one of the bigger gifts each and some little bits? Does DD1 want the keyboard (and nothing else) or the skateboard and a few other bits? Does DD2 want the Polaroid or the trainers? And then some other bits?

They've asked for quite a lot of things, I'm assuming you usually have quite a large budget. At their age I would just tell them the budget won't cover what they have asked for this year and ask them to prioritize one thing.

A very healthy family income but a total inability to read 🙄

Nasty nasty. And no need either. Something wrong with someone's mind who takes that from OPs post

This is really bad that their Dad has done this.

I think you have afew options:-

• credit card
• looking on Facebook sites and local selling sites for the keyboard and record player….
• speak to their dad and say, ok so you can’t do £200 each what can you do

I don’t think the post was grabby at all everyone needs to vent sometimes - we haven’t got a huge budget either but we do why we can with the money we have.

Re the digital piano, I'd definitely look at eBay.

That must be incredibly frustrating.

Definitely worth looking at second hand digital pianos. If there are any local music shops also enquire about ex hire. Theyre not great to buy online for value as they’re challenging to deliver so sometimes local purchase can be a good option.

Polaroid cameras - again. Look at second hand. Theyre often bought for weddings or similar and then never reused.

Horrible unkind and sanctimonious post. This post is exactly what is wrong with society and Christmas today.

Boils my piss that unsupportive posters like you aren't permanently banned from posting and kicking an OP when she is down.