To think that if we’re making all this money but not showing it off… what’s the point?

[TheTaupeMoose]

I’m not saying you have to be tacky but I do sometimes wonder if we work this hard, earn more, level up and still don’t celebrate it or show it in any way… what’s the point? There’s this modern guilt around “boasting” or “showing off,” especially online but honestly, why shouldn’t people wear the designer bag, post the trip or drive the nice car if they earned it? You get told to hustle but then shamed for enjoying the results.

I get that quiet wealth is a thing. But sometimes, I think the visibility is part of the reward. Especially if you come from a background where having anything at all once felt impossible.

AIBU to think that maybe showing off a little isn’t shallow, maybe it’s the point?

This ☝🏻 Buy something because you actually like it not because you want to keep up with the Jones’.

I spend to enjoy it. My kids are well provided for financially and I can live well for as long as I am alive. I see no point in amassing money that will never be spent. I retired at 48 a couple of years ago and I plan to enjoy the rest of my life without being frugal.

One of the wealthiest women I know drives a very modest car and wears simple, non branded clothes. She is incredible. Her intelligence, modesty and charm is something you couldn’t buy. I find it such an attractive quality.

I always feel, the less people have the bigger the badges, Stone Island jumpers are a good example. Screams insecurity to me. Everyone to their own though.

The older and wiser you become the less you should need things to define you. Ultimately, we leave this earth with nothing so it‘s good practice to start living more humbly. Unless you’re Elton John, I’d say money should be spent carefully.

Showing off is shallow.
Enjoying something is personal and nobody else’s business.
There’s a difference between showing off and enjoying something. You don’t have to show off to enjoy something.
Making sure you can life comfortably later on (eg retirement) is smart.

What do you consider visible enjoyment or showing off though?

Buying a flash car if you love the flash car, to me is just buying a car. If you are buying a flash car because you want to show others but you aren’t fussed by the car is a bit of a prick move.

I think to me showing off is tied to the intent behind the purchase.

I live in an area where there are wealthy people and I don’t bat an eyelid. You can always tell they’ve got money but it’s just their way of life, I don’t think I they’re waltzing around going “look at me!”

I think showing off is tacky, but you are free to do whatever you want. Nobody is stopping you, or making it "taboo".

MN in particular seems to have a chip on its shoulder about 'showing off' related to MN obsession with class which I don't think exists in real life.

So if that's where you're getting your information from, I wouldn't worry.

I don't think anyone cares very much in real life about someone having an expensive handbag or car unless you're literally waving it at 'the poors'.

I know a variety of people money wise and I’ve got 2 that sprung to mind for this.

Family 1 is very wealthy.
You would not know, not on social media or unless your close friends. Their children do not brag or even tell people they have their own ponies etc. They do not judge others for what they have. They all have good friends from all walks of life.

Family 2 THINK they are wealthy. But actually for the area they live are at the very lower end of wealth.
And like to make sure everyone knows. Social media is full of exotic holidays, cars, spa days and handbags etc…
Even the children post videos shaming other children for what they may be driven to school in (great, what have they done to the kids 🤦‍♀️) You can tell they are desperately trying to ‘keep up’ but I can tell you, no one likes this family! Everything is like a competition, you speak to them and they want to tell you how expensive everything they have is, it is all like a show. No one wants to be around it. No one with actual money is impressed, and people with less would probably just be annoyed.

I couldn’t give a shit what anyone thinks, i have savings, I wear the same clothes on repeat, haven’t bought anything designer in years, I go on holiday but uk and maybe Spain/turkey, as that’s what i enjoy. I post things that make me happy on social media, usually sunsets and animals! Buy the bag (or whatever it is) for yourself, would you still want it if you couldn’t show it off?? That’s the big question!

I’m getting Harry Enfield ‘loadsa money’ vibes.

I do sometimes get embarrassed telling people about how many holidays we go on. Next year, we’re going to the states twice and Europe twice. This is on top of various weekends away. However, this is how we choose to live our life and that’s that.

I doubt anyone cares.

Unless you're taking time off work when others you work with can't, abandoning DC or animals, I don't see why anyone would have an opinion.

I think you’ll find people care less about your lives than you think they do.

And the ‘considerably richer than yooow’ couple.