To think that if we’re making all this money but not showing it off… what’s the point?

[TheTaupeMoose]

I’m not saying you have to be tacky but I do sometimes wonder if we work this hard, earn more, level up and still don’t celebrate it or show it in any way… what’s the point? There’s this modern guilt around “boasting” or “showing off,” especially online but honestly, why shouldn’t people wear the designer bag, post the trip or drive the nice car if they earned it? You get told to hustle but then shamed for enjoying the results.

I get that quiet wealth is a thing. But sometimes, I think the visibility is part of the reward. Especially if you come from a background where having anything at all once felt impossible.

AIBU to think that maybe showing off a little isn’t shallow, maybe it’s the point?

You have described what Instagram is!

@Frenchfrychic ,

That’s what they tell themselves, but it isn’t true!

If it were true, a Hermes ad would be all about the quality of the leather, the stitching etc, and a Patek Phillipe ad would be all about the precision of the mechanism. Are they?

There is nothing ‘worth’ over £1,000 in any handbag. Nothing to ‘like’ over some far cheaper brands, other than the fact it is recognisable.

I don't mind hearing about the fancy holidays/big house etc if it's interesting stuff. But I had a wealthy acquaintance once who just kept on and on about the thighs he bought in terms of the money they cost. That was just uncomfortable.

I think you’ve answered your own question. Because people who ‘come from money’ wouldn’t even think about it. I come from a comfortable background and have never considered that conspicuous wealth is something to aspire to. I just, enjoy things. If I like a bag, I buy it. If we want to go skiing, we go. I’m not bothered whether other people notice my bag or know how much my holidays cost.

Maybe if I’d grown up feeling envious of other people, or somehow inferior, I’d feel differently.

if you are seeking validation from me because I have noticed your posh handbag, you'd wait a looooooong time. Similar with posting pics of your expensive car or posh holiday. I just don't notice.

he bought thighs???? what did he do with the rest of the animal?

Ha! Organic chicken thighs have got terribly expensive since those chef types told us they have more flavour.

Yes, things.

I want wealth for security and comfort, not to buy designer things that I can show off.

Better still both.

I really don’t think this is an issue at all these days.

The idea of being frugal, saving money and not flaunting your wealth is something I recognise from my parents generation, but I can’t say it’s something I’ve experienced in recent times.

for my parents, eating out at restaurants was a rare treat, now I can’t think a week goes by when I don’t eat out. They’d view my lifestyle as massively extravagant, but it’s pretty average.

my friends will often share excitement about a holiday, buying a new house, car, handbag ,..don’t think they’ve ever felt guilty or been made to feel guilty for it.

Sorry but I despise boasting in any form and I’m constantly amazed how insensitive some of our friends can be in flaunting their wealth. We’ve used our wealth to invest in incredible art and do enjoy wonderful food and family holidays etc. I’d rather die than boast about this or show it off in any way.

I never ever buy any clothing or accessories with an obvious label. Can’t think of anything worse.

“Pammy, is that yow…?”

Do you wonder why people avoid you?

The old adage that money cannot buy class.

Enjoy the financial freedom that your position affords uou. No one else really cares what you do or don’t have, but showing off is a deeply unappealing trait.

Having expensive things does not mean necessarily show off! You can choose if you want to be Louis Vuitton or Hermes type of girl. Some people like to be tacky and show off whereas others prefer to be rich & classy.

this

I personally put my money into my pensions and investments. Showing off is how you go broke. Think beyond today.

What a pathetic post. The second hand embarrassment I feel for OP is real

What a weird approach, taking the trip IS the enjoyment of wealth, not showing the trip off to people. My joy from wealth comes from seeing my child now happy at school (private), and I'm happy in a 2nd hand car. I've no desire for people to think I'm wealthy, that makes me feel awkward, but we enjoy the money by spending it on things that bring us joy (mainly the kids and holidays). I'd never tell or share how much any of it cost. What response would I get in a world when so many people are struggling, how would that chat go..... grim. Equally, all you have to do is go on social media and all the Kim k style influences and "life as a professional rich wife" accounts show you some people really love watching someone spend 300k on a handbag, and these people have no shame sharing that content

Money is a tool not a God. Enjoy life and do with it as you choose to make YOU and yours happy. Tomorrow is not promised.

You need to reassess your life if you are doing anything in order to impress other people rather than for your own enjoyment or satisfaction.

Even if you did buy a 'designer bag' would you 'wear' it or simply carry it, like normal people.

You can post whatever you want on your social, but you might find your follower count dwindling!

I do find this thread funny!

So many holier-than-thou people claiming that they buy designer goods for their own satisfaction.

Someone needs to explain the satisfaction they get paying a massive premium for a luxury brand over and above all equally well made car/handbag/coat by a non-recognisable make, other than knowing that other people will see it and recognise it as a sign of success.

Yes, those with old money may forswear the mammoth labels or certain ‘flash’ brands in favour of more subtle ones which won’t be generally recognised. But they know that the people they care about will recognise the subtle cues.

The ultimate in this is watches. Virtually any quartz watch will tell the time better than the most intricate multi jewelled chronometer, due to the piezo electric effect. But how many still buy designer brands (including me!). I wouldn’t buy a flashy one, but an understated one, but nonetheless I know people see it and like it.

(I don’t really do social media at all, other than this and WhatsApp, so I wouldn’t want to show off that way).

It would just have my stuff in it, bits of fluff and dirty tissues