To think that if we’re making all this money but not showing it off… what’s the point?

[TheTaupeMoose]

I’m not saying you have to be tacky but I do sometimes wonder if we work this hard, earn more, level up and still don’t celebrate it or show it in any way… what’s the point? There’s this modern guilt around “boasting” or “showing off,” especially online but honestly, why shouldn’t people wear the designer bag, post the trip or drive the nice car if they earned it? You get told to hustle but then shamed for enjoying the results.

I get that quiet wealth is a thing. But sometimes, I think the visibility is part of the reward. Especially if you come from a background where having anything at all once felt impossible.

AIBU to think that maybe showing off a little isn’t shallow, maybe it’s the point?

It's not illegal to show off, it's a very effective way to demonstrate lack of class.

I enjoy using my money to obtain quality items, but I don’t value flash. A good quality car or bag that meets your exact needs is what matters, whatever price point that requires.

Enjoy your wealth, by all means. But why would you buy stuff you don't even like, just to get other people's validation. Seems to me like a clear recipe for unhappiness.

Wealth is great in the sense that it allows you to be deb-free, set up for life financially, being financially stress-free and being able to enjoy a lot of paid activities that are out of reach for most people nowadays. That to me is the point of wealth.

Can't think of anything more pathetic than being wealthy solely for the sake of showing off.

Well, I have absolutely zero interest in designer clothes/shoes, jewellery or handbags. I don't want a mansion or a fleet of flash cars. When I win the lottery - that's "when", not "if" - I'll buy a small house in a nice area and a Susuki Jimny 😊

You can enjoy your things without acting in a way that would upset others. Especially when others may have had worse luck- an illness at the wrong time, less lucky in their first employer - whatever. Visibility - oh look at me - is pretty immature.

i have never had anyone shame me even though i do have a nice car and holidays. That you have makes me suspect you are bragging, boasting. Not just having the nice thing but making a thing about it

You can surely enjoy it all without what would once have been called ‘vulgar display’.

If you can’t enjoy your life without wanting to show off about what you’ve got then your life sounds pretty empty.

I can totally understand the appeal of showing off, OP. I used to work in a luxury hotel in Central London and we had loads of glamorous and fabulous guests staying. They all had this inexplicable aura. Maybe it's self-assurance?

People on MN can say all they want about how tacky and vulgar showing off wealth is, but in the real world, those types of people are given royal treatment (yes, i know many people just want to be in their sphere because they're rich). I think it would be quite fun to experience that at least once.

I mean why does anyone use social media at all nowadays? I'm genuinely curious.

Why do you want to show off like a peacock?
Look at me I can afford an expensive bit of dead cow shaped into a bag to put stuff in.
Well yes, buy whatever you want with your money but posting about it and actively showing off is crass and ugly.
There will always be people richer and always people poorer. Just because you drive a new Mercedes doesn't mean you are a good person, you could be a drug dealer, a pimp, a busines man who has spent the company pension pot.
Nothing about someone who drives a nice car or had an expensive bag impresses me or makes me think more of them.
I am saying this as someone who is a high earner and drives a nice car and has an expensive bag. These things are for me only, not to show off, I also buy from charity shops too and am just as happy in my Lidl jeans I bought for a tenner. Actually their jeans are really good, ten times better than my 100 quid pair😁

Yes I agree with this.

I actually am possibly a bit contrary- because I like driving around in my old banger knowing perfectly well that i can afford a nicer car if i chose.

Yesterday though I saw an acid green Aston Martin 4wd and confess i googled the price... over £200k! I'd be scared to take it out the garage.

One of the women in my bookclub is fairly wealthy and she certainly likes boasting about it all. TBH I just roll my eyes.

Material wealth in the most part is based on what the heart wants rather than good financial choices. Depreciation assets aren’t a good investment unless you plan to use them for an extended period of time. Which often isn’t the game of retailers and they’d like you to give them your money frequently.

If you love something it’s ok to buy it. I’d rather spend on travel. It feels worth it for the memories even though it’s not a good investment.

‘Reclaiming something that once felt out of reach’ is a line which really stood out for me, and is one of the reasons that newly wealthy people often care about designer labels, fancy cars etc whereas people with family wealth will often wear scruffy old clothes and wellies. It’s about status.

Ridiculous. 'Visible enjoyment' (showing off) works for nobody except a show off. Enjoy your wealth but it's pretty tasteless to boast about it in person or online, regardless of which circles you move in. It doesn't validate anything except your own insecurity (and even then it doesn't validate it as nobody will care).

I wonder if it's also a bit of a validation thing. Look at me, I've made it in life. They're seeking admiration and validation that they aren't completely worthless. If people comment, admire them, feel inspired by them perhaps, it externally raises self esteem. What's missing is the internal self esteem that doesn't require wealth or materialistic things.

Nice watch, shoes, coat etc? Fantastic. But not on a wet Saturday in Asda. You'll look odd. A restaurant or on a nice street with your tribe then it's ok. Having said that, Sarah Ferguson and her daughters have failed (imo)

How very "non-U" 😂

It really doesn’t. I’d be classed as new money and I would never ever consider behaving like the op does. Or thinking like her, as said up thread. Please don’t make stereotypical judgements, as you’re very wrong.

Are you on social media? It’s full of people showing off what they’ve bought and it ranges from objects like designer handbags , experiences like holidays to plastic surgery procedures.

It's not reckless but it is shallow. If you enjoy those things because you like those things then that's fair enough but if your reason for having them is to show others how wealthy you are then that's a bit sad. You're looking for the external validation of others to acknowledge your success and wealth through your material possessions. And when anyone can really buy them, through credit etc, I don't really think they signify anything other than a need for others see you in a certain light.

Taste discussions aside, I just don't see the point? Do other people really care or pay attention? I have a couple of friends that won't stop posting Instagram stories with them next to the pool, food shots, beaches etc each time they go on holidays...I barely have time to watch the things I like, so yeah, I am not watching those surely. I just have zero interest in knowing how much money others have or spend, and I suspect there are a lot of people like me.

While there is a trend of being competitively frugal, I think that there is a trend of showing off too. I think this when I regularly see very expensive cars on the roads that are probably bought on finance so not really affordable

Your money is yours to do with as you see fit. Just be mindful of the envious 'eat the rich' meatheads that will castigate you for having an 'inappropriate amount of wealth' or that you 'should be taxed much harder'.

This.
The best things for me were being able to retire early, being able to travel and being able to help our two DS out. Being able to afford to go private when I need an op. That sort of thing.
Fortunately, DH is like me and has no desire to show off. We have what we need for what we want and there is plenty of happiness in that.
But if you want to show off, go ahead. Whatever makes you happy I guess.
I don't actually spend any time wondering how much money my friends and family have. We do have relatives who are much more flashy than us. I only see it on IG etc and I just like and move on. I'm not impressed by it really but I don't care if they do it.

Not sure what you mean about showing off. Surely you do things for you and not for approval of others? I have a nice house and a small selection of cars to drive but it’s for me and not to show off.